Creative corner

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    The Beginning of the End (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Math)

    I've declared repeatedly since the PA primary that this race is over soon after May 6th. Despite the high anxiety of Obama supporters and all the talk of Clinton momentum, I stand by this projection. My reason for saying so is very simple. There will not be enough remaining votes after May 6th to make a difference. Not to the delegate count. Not to the popular vote. After May 6th, you won't need any fancy delegate calculators to see that. It will be obvious to all.

    Topics: 
    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Is Hillary Behind My Brain Dysfunction?

    Have you been feeling "fuzzy" lately? Blinded by passion? Addled by rage? Do you find yourself ranting about MSM unfairness and the well-known bias of certain TPM staffers? (I won't name any names but it rhymes with "Breg Bargent".) Do you hurl potted plants at your television or periodically spit on your monitor? Do you pound the "recommend" button manically when you see an anti-Hillary post, even though it only works the first time? Have your purchased five or more computers so that you can vent your anger through multiple recommendations?

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    How To Be Tough: A Primer

    1) Say "I'm tough". Say it a lot. Also, use the word "fight" in every other sentence.

    2) Promise not to quit. Ever. Consequences be damned.

    3) Compare yourself to tough historical figures. Like Rocky.

    4) Do not apologize. Tough people don't apologize. Rocky doesn't apologize.

    5) Tell anecdotes of about yourself in tough situations. E.g. "We landed under sniper fire and had to run to our vehicles."

    6) Play tough music. Examples:
    - Eye Of the Tiger (Survivor)
    - I Won't Back Down (Tom Petty)

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Another Obama Terrorist Relationship

    The day before the Pennsylvania primary, Barack Obama's campaign has been rocked by news of another troublesome relationship. There have been reports that Obama is separated by only six degrees from mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden. According to the reports, Obama's kindergarten teacher's family friend's cousin's doorman's grandmother was the kindergarten teacher of mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Blue-Collar Boot Camp

    Perhaps you've heard of Barack Obama's shocking condescension to the good working people of small town Pennsylvania and Hillary Clinton's courageous defense of their blissful collective mental health. We Democrats, it seems, have a problem connecting with the happy little working people, which is a bit of a shame because their votes would really come in helpful this November. They used to be our little people, you know, before Reagan stole them away from us with his family values sham. I think it's time to get them back.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Dance Dance Nomination, The Finale

    This is a three part series. I recommend that you first read Part I and Part II, or you will be confused and slightly disoriented. You may experience sensations of nausea.

    -----------------------

    Live dance-off blogging. Remember, the outcome of the dance competition will determine the Democratic nominee. There are three competitions: ballroom, breakdance, and free-style.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Dance Dance Nomination, Part II

    This is a three part series. I recommend that you first read Part I, or you will be confused and slightly disoriented. You may experience sensations of nausea.

    -----------------------

    I'm now in the rehearsal studio with the Clintons. I'm impressed with their tango. Hillary in particular seems poised and disciplined. They've been drilling the same step for half an hour. Bill seems like he's fading a bit, and they've agreed to take a break to answer a few questions:

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Dance Dance Nomination, Part I

    Back in the warm, fuzzy days of January in South Carolina, Barack Obama was asked whether Bill Clinton deserved to be called the first black president. He replied "I would have to, you know, investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities...before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother," to which Hillary Clinton replied, "I'm sure that can be arranged."

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Math Shmath

    All the Obama people can talk about after their savior got his butt kicked is math, math, math, math, math, math, math. Whatever. I respect math. Without math, there'd be no particle physics, sports stats, or sudoku, and it would be hard to figure out if you'd received the correct change. But let's not overdo it. First, math isn't tangible, so we can't know for sure if it even exists. Second, it's confusing, and anything confusing is probably a government conspiracy.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    What really happened in Canada...

    Many of you may have read the story about how Ian Brodie, chief of staff to the Canadian Prime Minister said that a Clinton representative had downplayed Hillary's Nafta comments to the Canadian embassy: "He said someone from (Hillary) Clinton's campaign is telling the embassy to take it with a grain of salt. . . That someone called us and told us not to worry."

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Another doctored Obama photo?

    The latest ad from the Clinton campaign includes yet another photo that some liberal bloggers suspect as having been doctored. Clinton campaign spokesman Jay Carson said, "this is a bogus assertion.
    Ads look different based on software, screens, computers, television,
    etc."

    I'm no photoshop expert, but I think that this one is pretty clear. Judge for yourself:

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Mike Gravel should drop out after Tuesday

    I have no problem with Mike Gravel. He's run a fine race, and his innovative ad campaign will be studied by strategists for years to come. The one with the rock broke ground never before broken by any candidate and likely never to be broken again, unless he runs in 2012. The mental image of his determined stare still gives me goosebumps. I also appreciate his important contributions to the Democratic debates, though I don't really remember them. But if I remembered them, I'm sure that I would appreciate them. It's not my fault that I wasn't paying attention.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Who's Afraid of the Kitchen Sink?

    Most of you have probably scene this quote from today's Times:

    Topics: 
    Michael Wolraich's picture

    4 Nader Myths

    When Nader announced his candidacy yesterday, I expected a stream of Nader-hate to come down the TPM wire, and there was certainly plenty of that. I did not, however, expect the eruption of Nader support that followed. I had been under the impression that, other than a few kooky left-wingers, everyone who supported Nader in 2000 had come to regret it. But here were TPM posters, young and old, with whom I had been bantering the last few months over the relative merits of Obama, Clinton, and Edwards, defending Nader's candidacy.

    Topics: 
    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Report: Clinton Campaign May Try To Poison Obama's Pledged Delegates

    The Hillary Clinton campaign has reportedly thought up a new strategy for winning the Democratic nomination that is even more divisive than the super-delegate route: Poisoning Obama's elected delegates so that they cannot appear at the convention. "I swear it is not happening now, but as we get closer to the convention, if it is a stalemate, everybody will be going after everybody’s delegates," a senior campaign official told the Politico. "All the rules will be going out the window."

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    If a candidate picked you up at a bar...

    This post started as a comment, but due to popular demand, it's getting its own post. (Does one request constitute popular demand?) Much ado has been made in recent years about which presidential candidate voters would prefer to have a beer with, but we all know that beer buddiness is a poor measure of electability. I love my beer buddies, but I wouldn't vote any of them for city council, let alone president.

    Pages

    Latest Comments