The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
    Richard Day's picture

    OSAMA DEAD: DONALD DEMANDS DEATH CERTIFICATE

    By Richard Day on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 3:59am |

    Osama bin Laden (CIA photo).png

    As a candidate during the 2008 election campaign, Obama repeatedly vowed: "We will kill Osama bin Laden." And so it has proved. guardian.co.uk

    My first thought -- well, second thought, after the gratitude I'm feeling towards the people who've fought and died in Afghanistan for nine and a half years -- is that public support for further action in Afghanistan is going to erode, quickly. Barack Obama ran, as John Kerry had ran, on a sort of zero sum approach to the war on terror. The war in Iraq had been a distraction from the war in Afghanistan, costing us a lot, and costing us a chance to kill bin Laden. If we shifted resources from Iraq to Afghanistan, we could win the war -- and in a lot of minds, "win the war" meant catching bin Laden. For many Americans, the death of bin Laden will have ended the war, and I don't see where the enthusiasm comes from for any further commitment to the country as the surge ends. And then there's the rest of the AfPak strategy we've been pursuing since Obama took office. http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/weigel/

    Cable news and all three major conventional TV stations, dropped everything to cover THE REAL NEWS tonight.

    The world press stopped in its tracks.

    Repubs rushed to microphones to get in on the good news.

    But one man has been silent as his show was preempted by his number one enemy—until now!

    I sat down with Donald Trump to discuss this new headline.

    I know, I know, why in the hell would The Donald wish to speak with me?

    Well he kind of got the idea that I own Dagblog and nobody else would talk to him. Also I should disclose that he thinks Dagblog has something to do with Newsweek and The Daily Beast. How he got that idea is anybody's guess!

    Anyway, this is how the interview went.

    The Dick: Mr. Trump, it is a pleasure to meet with you and discuss this recent news concerning the world's number one criminal. What was your first reaction?

    The Donald: I am so proud tonight; if this is all true and correct information as the President has said. So proud that Obama took out the biggest single motherfucker in the world, just like I was demanding over the last few months. If it were not for my diligence; if it were not for my doggedness; if it were not for my refusal to sit silently while al Qaeda made a mockery of this country, we never would have reached this pinnacle of success.

    Where is Osama? I kept asking.

    Show me Osama, Mr. Obama! I kept demanding.

    And how in the hell did our President, who supposedly was born in this country end up with a name that rhymes with Osama?

    The Dick: Very good Mr. Trump. Very good response indeed. Uh...now you were not the secret man involved in disclosing this newly found intelligence that …

    The Donald: Well those two investigators I sent to Hawaii took the first plane to Islamabad on my orders to find out the status of bin Laden. Now I could not discuss their investigation nor disclose their findings of course. It was all a matter of National Security. But I knew that they had the 'drop' on this motherfucker for sure and so I contacted President Bush and gave him the info on what was going down and I guess he contacted the Joint Chiefs directly!

    The Dick: Well surely you give some credit to the current President of the United States...

    The Donald: Well now not so fast there speedy. It has not been proven beyond a reasonable doubt that mr. Obama is the President of the United States.

    The Dick: But...but...but you saw the long form birth certificate any everything and I assume...

    The Donald: I have not had an opportunity for my lab experts to inspect that document and I will come to no conclusions until I have seen the results of that investigation. You know it has been written in many reputable newspapers that questions have arisen concerning the provenance of that so called certificate; I mean I have not seen the original and those democrats are making us rely on faxed copies and Xerox copies. I have touched no raised seals, I have not discussed this matter with the birthing doctor...oh and it looks like somebody murdered the birthing doctor....

    No no no, this issue is not dead yet, not dead by a long shot.

    The Dick:Well how do you know bin Laden is dead?

    The Donald: Good question. I am not going to take this lying Administration's word on this fact either. And I will not accept some 'short form' death certificate nor will I accept some Certificate of Live Death either. We Americans have been short shrifted as far as the truth of things for far too long. And we are mad as hell and we are not going to take it anymore.

    The Dick: Well thank you for that Mr. Trump. Say, how did that dinner party go for you the other day...

    The Donald: FUCK YOU

    Well that ended my interview with The Donald.

    It is always important to get both sides of a story you know!

    Comments

    OK. Well you are still blogging, which is definitive proof that a theory I have held for a very long time is not correct.


    by LarryH on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 8:44pm

    say what? hahahahah

    It's either this or solitaire all day, I can't find a scrabble game!


    by Richard Day on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 9:20pm

    I'd laugh out loud, but it echoes something hellish in here.


    by quinn esq on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 9:26pm

    I thought it was a funny post. hahaha


    by Richard Day on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 9:29pm

    Almost missed it. Funny indeed. :-)

     


    by kgb999 on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 9:35pm

    well thanks kgb, that lightens me up a little!

    Wolfie gets 2000 hits and I get six. hahahahah


    by Richard Day on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 9:49pm

    Yeah, but your six hit HARD.

    His hits wear gloves. Featherweight hits.


    by quinn esq on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 2:59pm

    Same as my TV show: Escalator to the Stars!

    All twenty viewers purchased car insurance! ha


    by Richard Day on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 4:36pm

    Over the years, especially during the Bush years, I got used to reading bloggers and commenters twist into knots trying to prove Osama was dead, sometimes furnishing tons of links they had collected to prove it--like his supposed need for kidney dialysis--stuff like that. (It was a lefty thing, some wanted to prove the whole thing was ginned up and keeping Osama "alive" when he really was supposedly dead was part of it.)

    With this news, I was thinking man, I wonder if some of those peeps now will work just as hard  now to prove he was alive until now- if so,-they are going to have to start from scratch!  But then, as you bring up, if the Donald puts his *crack* P.I." on the job, no sweat. Laughing

    Related to  the latter, Juan Cole has a nice illustration up:

     


    by artappraiser on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 9:49pm

    Great cartoon!

    I think like C and I were saying in different places, there will soon be sightings of Elvis bin Laden. ha


    by Richard Day on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 9:52pm

    The Bush administration were all masters of obfuscation, misdirection of inquiry, blocking inquiry, goosing terror alerts before elections, changing the subject or changing the war, overt lies and other chicanery mostly for self serving political reasons.

    Osama was perceived by Bushies as a useful boogeyman to call up to scare the voters, to keep us in line, or raise the defense budget, it seems likely he was worth more to George W. Bush alive than dead. Bringing Osama out of mothballs around elections was always a good ploy for the national security party, the GOP.  Why else did Bush not pursue him? There is no evidence Bush ever did anything to make the world 'safer'. Killing Bin Laden and pushing Pakistan to confront its terrorist problem is an effort to do just that.

    I don't blame bloggers for doubting almost anything that came down while Bush was in office, specifically doubting whether Osama was still alive at any point of time after 2001.

    Nice picture at Juan Cole!


    by NCD on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 6:27pm

    Killing Bin Laden and pushing Pakistan to confront its terrorist problem is an effort to do just that.

     

    I see such a strong Pakistani element here; in all of this.

    It is so difficult for the peasants, like me to understand because we do not have the entire file.

    And this Administration is indeed treating Pakistan a lot differently and that was foreshadowed in the 2008 campaigns.

    This is turning out to be extremely interesting and should be good for Obama because Pakistan will stay in the news throughout this year and next.

     


    by Richard Day on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 6:58pm

    Related to  the latter, Juan Cole has a nice illustration up:

    Yes, I think this makes the birth certificate thing--and those who have made a thing out of it--look completely ridiculous. 

    If one were to have identified last week a single event that could happen that would make it look completely ridiculous, this was it. 

    Nothing terribly surprising to me in these reported results of this early NYT/CBS News public opinion survey:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/05/us/politics/05poll.html?hp

    I told a friend yesterday I thought Obama might get up to between 60 and 65 percent approval over this, and that how high they go and how long they stay there may tell us something about the public's more durable expectations of Obama on the jobs issue in particular.  We'll see if his numbers rise further.

     


    by AmericanDreamer on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 2:28pm

    Funny!  I noticed you didn't ask him about the hair.  Was that the agreement?  You couldn't ask and he wouldn't tell?  Was this a phone interview or were you able to get close enough to see under the hood?  (So many questions. . .)


    by Ramona on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 11:22am

    We met in a board room; no cameras allowed.

    One thing about his head. A woman came in every five minutes and combed his hair.

    And his aide kept pointing a gun at me! hahahah


    by Richard Day on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 11:59am

    And I want Trump to release a certificate showing the results of an independently done DNA test on his hair concluding that it is real.

     


    by AmericanDreamer on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 2:30pm

    It is not that I want more legalese in this universe, but I sure the hell wish MSM would adopt some burden of proof standard.

    You show your drivers license and the burden of proof as to your identity shifts to the bastard to questions its authenticity.

    You deliver a birth certificate and the burden of proof shifts to the person who would like to question your birth date and your birth place.

    Unless you can come up with something more than speculation, you are forbidden from bringing up this crap on the air!

    There are not two sides to every issue. And if MSM had some standards, the nut cases would not get any air time.

     


    by Richard Day on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 2:39pm

    Some people say there are always two sides to every story. Some people say there are not always two sides to every story. Which side are you on? Personaly I am of two minds on this issue. The meds do help though.


    by LarryH on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 3:35pm

    hahahha

    Okay, so there are at least 360 'sides' for any one issue.

    And of course, I am a Gemini so I always see two!


    by Richard Day on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 3:59pm