Book of the Month

Shuts and Failures

by Michael Maiello

Woodworking Auction

by Oxy Mora 6/5/2012 - 1:10 pm

 

 

There is a predatory notice

in the limbic eyes of an auction-goer:

Strike now! Take a chance with the drill-press-thing---

or is it a riveter or veneer slicer---

the attached shop light alone is worth the price.

 

The auction boss sets the stage---

smashed up pipe clamps, dried-glue glaze on them,

---get the juices flowing, appetizers---

you can buy these cheaper at Sears,

doesn't matter, it's an auction,

and pull up those Levi's before you trip,

or a fork lift mashes your instep. 

 

Like a stand-up comic in a cheap beer joint,

the Auctioneer is an Enforcer:

"Buddy, you wanna set the bid, 

then come on up here in front. No?

Then let's start the bid again.

Do I hear thirty dollars for them pipe clamps?"

 

A little higher on the food chain, 

I scoop up a solid machine which has a stomach ache

from eating a sanding belt and a saw blade.

 

As I cut a small vintage table saw from the herd,

The dignity of the previous owner flashes at me from

well oiled steel surfaces honed to perfection;

I feel like I have taken advantage, even given the spoils of war---

like the football game at OCS in Newport---

when I pushed the player's face into the mud,

after I had him down. 

 

Lugging the prize saw to my car

I stopped by Fred's Food Wagon

for the only bargain within a hundred feet---

a 50 cent combo of donut and coffee---

and spied a note duct taped to the handle:

"Sammy, your Grand Dad wanted you to have this.

I don't have a lot of money right now,

So I'm sending it freight collect to your office."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oxy Mora.

 

   

 

 

Welcome back. I missed reading you. Nice poem. There is something about a auction that brings out the competitive nature in us. Buying tools? You must still be working on finishing the house.
by trkingmomoe 6/5/2012 - 6:52 pm

Thanks, Trkingmomoe. The little house is about finished and is filling up with books.

by Oxy Mora 6/6/2012 - 1:54 pm (re: trkingmomoe)

you can buy these cheaper at Sears,

doesn't matter, it's an auction,

I call that the country auction premium, something which  most city slicker art auction people know about if they frequent them. (I used to be one of the frequenters back before auction via internet inflitrated.) Only the naive think there are a lot of "sleepers" out in the country.

The dignity of the previous owner flashes at me from

well oiled steel surfaces honed to perfection;

That's a main reason why people are willing to pay the country auction premium. (They will also pay it for genunine estate auctions within urban areas.)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts in great form. :-)

by artappraiser 6/5/2012 - 7:30 pm

Country auction premium. ha. I knew there had to be some kind of semi-official name for that. 'Tis a fine line between hidden treasure and scrap metal.

Going to country auctions used to be our Saturday morning entertainment but we stopped about 20 years ago. We already had boxes of junk at home that were worth a dollar at the metal recycling place. The best part of the whole experience was Fred's Food Wagon. Coffee and a doughnut -- 50 cents. smiley

by flowerchild 6/6/2012 - 7:54 am (re: artappraiser)

Yep, many good food memories, in my case not from a food truck but homemade by a relative of the auctioneer, on a big folding table with paper doilies on top.   smiley

by artappraiser 6/6/2012 - 1:38 pm (re: flowerchild)

Yes, the food. It's like an art fair, where food produces more profit than the sale of a print. Thanks for the recollections, both.

by Oxy Mora 6/6/2012 - 2:02 pm (re: artappraiser)

I don't know about the profitability thing, I think it's more like they don't want you getting in your car and leaving the auction site for a snack. If you're there, you might bid on something going cheap, and the more people do that, the less cheap things go....underbidders are crucial participants, needed to drive up the prices paid by the bidder that really wants an item.

by artappraiser 6/6/2012 - 3:00 pm (re: Oxy Mora)

I don't know if it was legal but another guy and I had an arrangement---at his suggestion. If we both were bidding and he made a chopping motion with his hand and I nodded, I would drop out and we would split the take if he won the auction. I remember one fun afternoon when we sorted out 200 used router bits. We alternated turns selecting what we wanted. I still have some of those bits in my tool chest. 

by Oxy Mora 6/6/2012 - 4:34 pm (re: artappraiser)

You guys have prompted a final stanza. I hope you like. 

by Oxy Mora 6/6/2012 - 3:10 pm (re: flowerchild)

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