Dear Denny,

 [Read more]

Unless you’ve been living under an analog rock, you know Apple released the biggest surprise everyone knew about: the iPad.  Dubbed “The Jesus Machine” (http://www.buzznews.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=102...) by some industry analysts (analysts whose hyperbole machine is broken), this product is supposed to resurrect the dying print media. [Read more]

 

 [Read more]

There is no other force that can strike strong accord to the most disharmonious parties than money. For two basic reasons: 1) Money makes people content; and 2) Contentment breeds tolerance. Accordingly, the best foreign policy the United States can undertake is one that recognizes the awesome power of dolla-dolla billz y’all. [Read more]

On Sunday Sal9000 married the love of his life, Nene Anegasaki, who just happens to be character in a Nintendo DS video game, Love Plus. Aside from the obvious irony that the video game character has a more normal sounding name than the actual person, this is a notable union because it is a step in the direction of respectability compared to the Japanese raping video game that we have discussed here at Dagblog. At least this guy is marrying the video and will be having consensual – eh – game play(?).

At first I thought this was a joke perpetrated by Sal9000, I mean come on, his name is Sal9000, but after recognizing that he was Japanese and seeing the wedding video I realized that this guy is for real. He really does love the video game character he created. [Read more]

It's been a while since I posted on Dagblog.  I'm not going to apologize for my absence or explain why, I just wanted to point it out.  Anyway, welcome to another exciting edition of My New Favorite Websites (MNFW): the judgement edition. Join me in relishing these two websites that help you look down upon other people - it's fun!

The People of Walmart

 [Read more]

Levi Johnston has some deep tweets.  Below is just a small collection of his tweets.  If you have not already, you need to follow him.

1.  Rap Video

 [Read more]

You can find just about anything on the internet nowadays.  And I do mean everything, I found a website dedicated Charles In Charge trivia (www.cicoml.com/angelfire/79874984434), I found a social network for short guys who love tall women (www.giraffehunters.net), I even found a website that talks about former President Reagan like he was a good president (http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/68788).  So was I really shocked to find out Scott Roeder, killer of Dr. [Read more]

Luckily my parents are luddites so I dont' have to worry about this.  Friend me on face book before your mom does:  Larry Jankens

In a recent show, America's favorite ex-jock-turned-opinion-maker, Sean Hannity discusses his disgust for New Yorkers tolerance of anti-christian propaganda, or as some people call it: common sense.

If you’ve been riding the New York City subway lately, you may have seen some curious ads plastered on the walls, spreading the word that you can live a great life without God. [Read more]

We all assumed that George W. Bush would spend the rest of his days clearing brush from his ranch in Crawford, Texas - much the way he spent his presidency.  But because of global warming there is a world wide brush shortage and W has had to find other things to occupy his time.  What you ask?  I'm so glad you asked 'cause it's hilarious - he's become a motivational speaker!

That's right, for as little as $19 dollars you and your entire office can come hear our former fearless leader speak.  Now that's a bargain!  I don't know about you, but I'd like to go just to hear what he had to say.  [Read more]

 

In interest of full disclosure, I love to drink.  I am in no way an unbiased party when discussing alcohol and alcohol consumption.  Happy hour is not just a phrase, it’s the happiest hour of my day.

So when I heard of the World Health Organization (WHO) is launching a campaign to reduce alcohol consumption worldwide, I was not very happy about it.  The WHO claims that the negative effects of alcohol impact a growing amount of people throughout the world.   Obviously, the WHO has never had my patented Bugs Bunny (vodka and carrot juice) that  improves ocular health or my Mao Tse Yum (ginseng tea and gin) that increases mental cognition.

My concerns with the WHO’s campaign are as follows: [Read more]

We all love bacon, that’s not to dispute, but has this country gone overboard in it’s zeal for bacon?  I asked the almighty Google and the answer was a resounding yes in the form of the amazing amount of bacon related products that are available.  Below are just a few pictures of images found when one googles “bacon.”
 

Where I’m from “bacon briefcase,” has a different meaning.
 

What’s the best way to get a piece of bacon unstuck from your teeth?  Baconfloss!  No minty fresh after taste, just the strong reek of bacon. 
  [Read more]

 

According to a new book entitled Ghosts Caught on Film 2, a photograph taken in front of Jim Morrison’s tomb in Paris shows the ghost of Jim Morrison; you can tell it’s him be cause the ghost looks sexy and brooding.   Predictably, paranormal websites are treating this photo as proof of the existence of ghosts. Equally predictably, this raises my ire.

1)  The writer of Ghosts Caught on Film 2, Jim Eaton, claims that he’s a “Ghost Master.”  It’s one of those titles that is self proclaimed.  You know like, the decider.  I don’t think you can be considered to be an expert in something if your expertise was attained through your own proclamation.  But then again, if you can’t trust a Ghost Master, who can you trust? [Read more]

Dateline: 2 Days from now

Obama made history yesterday when he signed an executive order forcing Fox Corp. to make a new season of the acclaimed and prematurely canceled television show Arrested Development. “We are at a crossroads,” said President Obama. “We can either go back to pushing the failed agendas of the past, such as canceling a hilarious television show, or we can move forward by doing the things necessary to make TV more watch-able.”

While Democrats and television enthusiasts applauded the move, it was met with strong consternation from Obama’s critics. “This use of executive authority is unconstitutional and unwarranted. If it was such a good show why didn’t anybody watch it in the first place?” Said Republican Leader John Boehner. [Read more]

I have the great displeasure of having to watch children’s programs while hanging with my girl when she’s baby sitting her little cousins and let me tell you, kids TV sucks! It’s like programming for narcissistic drunk people. While I do hate Dora (c’mon Swiper, kill her already), I hate Wow Wow Wubbzy the very most. Their song Mr. Cool epitomizes my dislike for them, it goes a little something like this:

 [Read more]

The Dalai Lama is in Washington this week trying to arrange a meeting with President Obama. It's Obama, however, who is acting like the Buddhist master, i.e. he’s doing nothing. The Wall Street Journal, has been quick to decry Obama’s Zen like response to the Lama. Saying that meetings with the Dali Lama are important because they “affirm the religious and democratic freedoms America stands for while setting a precedent for the rest of the world.” [Read more]

First, let me welcome back J-Stew and the Daily Show.  It was a long three weeks without them.  On Monday night's telecast they showed clips of Malkin and Hannity derriding people on the left for supporting the same cause as the kooky war/president protesters because the kooky protesters were too extreme and then showed clips of them complimenting the right for voicing its opinion that echos the kooky right-wing protesters that are too extreme.  For Malkin, Hannity, and other koolaid drinkers, hypocrisy is not just a word, it's a way of life.  [Read more]

There are many well documented divides between the left and the right wings.  Roe v. Wade, death penalty, more government v. less government, more religion in government v. less religion in government, to name just a few.  One of the most obvious divides in the two prevailing cultures is in online news sources.  This difference was exquisitely demonstrated today in the differing coverage of the now infamous “You lie!” outburst by Rep. Joe Wilson.  

 [Read more]