For several years, Tim Johnson and his duck Miriam cohabitated peacefully. This Valentine’s Day, however, Johnson decided it was time to take the next step.

“We’ve been together so long that I knew it was now or never,” said Johnson.

So Johnson went out and purchased a $1,500 ring from Zales, went home, knelt before his duck and proposed marriage. Sadly, his proposal was met with indifference. [Read more]

Noted liar-for-Christ David Barton has been making the media rounds lately, pushing another book of blatant history revisionism. Having been a blogger for quite some time, I consider myself a leading expert on just about everything, especially Thomas Jefferson and the Founding Fathers. Thus I feel it is vital for me to set the record straight and show to the world that Barton is a daft poppy-head (apologies for the technical historical lingo). [Read more]

Aside from camels, scientists also created tiny lions so rich people could play with them.

SWITZERLAND – A group of scientists – working from a huge grant by the Koch Brothers – have created a camel small enough to fit through the eye of a needle, sources say. [Read more]

As Floyd Mayweather prepares for his fight next week with Miguel Cotto, commentators are quick to point out that he will soon be serving time in jail [Read more]

Almost exactly two years ago, corporate whistleblower Sam Antar told me this:

“With all the stimulus money going out, the Republicans will eventually find some corruption charge (on Obama) they think will stick,” said Antar. “It’s just a matter of time.”

Here’s what Rep. Darrell Issa (R) – the chairman of the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform – had to say just recently: [Read more]

When Metta World Peace elbowed Oklahoma City’s James Harden, fans around the U.S. were aghast. Now, comes the bitter truth – President Barack Obama has met the former Ron Artest and once put his hand on his shoulder. [Read more]

As Mitt Romney begins his general election battle against President Barack Obama, intrepid reporters and pundits have stumbled across something about him that should terrify us all – Mitt Romney hates cookies.

Recently, in Pittsburgh, Romney insulted cookies from Bethel Bakery. This insult has reverberated across the nation. What kind of man hates cookies? I’ll tell you – an evil man. [Read more]

Ernest Hancock and Freedom’s Phoenix “watering the tree of liberty” with guns at an Obama appearance. [Read more]

  [Read more]

Coming off an impressive showing in Southern states, Rick Santorum is now looking to double-down on his conservative bona fides this week. After earlier stating that he would work to eliminate all pornography from America, Santorum has now come out and stated that such modern conveniences as the wheel, sliced-bread and fire all have to be banned, as well.

“During my travels, I meet many Americans who long for a simpler, more devout time,” said Santorum. “That’s why my Presidency will be about taking America back to the Year 2 or so and giving people true freedom.” [Read more]

While much attention goes to the United States’ huge national debt, few spend time understanding the debt some cities are dealing with and the steps needed to take to balance these smaller but vital coffers.

In cities like Needles, Calif. – which has a population of 15,000 and a debt of $450,000 – desperate times are calling for common-sense solutions. In it’s most controversial move, the City passed a law requiring the homeless to act as public toilets and trash cans to help defray costs. [Read more]

As if Obama’s citizenship, Climate Change, the shape of the Earth and the moon landing weren’t enough, now comes the latest liberal hoax – a giant solar flare. [Read more]

Rush Limbaugh apparently isn’t the only one paying dearly for his misogynistic ways. Overstock.com boss Patrick Byrne, who has shown himself to be a first-class misogynist himself (“So, why exactly did you become a reporter? Giving Goldman traders blowjobs didn’t work out?” he once e-mailed business reporter Bethany McLean), is currently riding his Internet retailing company straight into the ground.

Via Sam Antar: [Read more]

While they were busy writing endless columns on such things as Obama’s manliness, whether or not Americans should wear jeans or whether or not Monica Lewinsky would bring down the nation, America’s famed band of “conservative intellectuals” failed to notice that the GOP was going insane.

They’re noticing now.

David Brooks: [Read more]

WASHINGTON – Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had breakfast today, leading most foreign policy experts to agree that Iran is now more dangerous than ever.

Reports from Iran state that Ahmadinejad dined at 8 a.m. on pita bread, feta cheese and assorted fruits. Sources from within Iran have stated this breakfast is a sure sign that Iran now is fully nuclear capable and prepared to begin a full-scale nuclear war against the United States and Israel.

“Ahmadinejad is insane. Really insane. Just incredibly insane and suicidal," said foreign policy expert Bill Kristol. “The time to act against him is now.” [Read more]

Being a Straight White Male is great. It really is. I mean, the number of perks I get solely for being a Straight White Guy is just ridiculous. Did you know we Straight White Men get free ice cream on Tuesdays? Our choice of flavors. It’s fabulous.

But life as a White Male is not all good jobs, unlimited rights and privileges and free ice cream on Tuesdays. It is mostly, mind you, but it’s not everything.

You see, as a Straight White American Male, it is my job to tell women and minorities what rules they must live by. It is a huge responsibility that I more or less take seriously. [Read more]

America has become Satan’s playground. It is a nation that dances with the devil and is seeing it’s greatness usurped by sin. And it is all because we allow American women to have sex.

Recently, more and more Republicans have come forward to announce they are anti-abortion and anti-birth control. They have fought to eliminate Planned Parenthood. They are even trying to pass legislation that would would make it illegal for African-American women to have abortions. [Read more]

On Sunday (Jan. 22), we’ll be attending the Crueldade Nunca Mais rally in Uberlandia, Minas Gerais, Brazil. This is not just a nation-wide rally, but an international one, dedicated to strengthen extremely weak laws in Brazil against animal cruelty. [Read more]

If there’s one thing that’s glaringly apparent in the GOP nomination process, it’s this – Mitt Romney is just not a very good candidate for office.

It shouldn’t be this way. Romney is very intelligent, attractive to the point it almost appears he was assembled by a crack team of human designers, and well spoken. Add to that the fact that he can afford the best campaign advisors money can by, and he truly should be a juggernaut of a candidate.

But here’s Romney’s flaw in a nutshell – he is unwilling and unable to own up to who he is and what he has done. [Read more]

It is a wonderful coincidence that Muhammad Ali's 70th birthday comes the day after Martin Luther King Jr. Day. While the two essentially ran in different circles, as it were, both were amazing parts of a time that saw America change dramatically for the better.

While yesterday saw Americans look to King's words and actions, all would be remiss to overlook what Ali did to change social and cultural norms in the United States. [Read more]