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William K. Wolfrum's blog

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God shoots himself in Wynn Las Vegas Hotel Room

LAS VEGAS – The age old question – could God create a shotgun big enough to blow his own brains out? – has finally been answered. And that answer is, yes. Yes he can.

God was found dead yesterday at the Wynn Las Vegas of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. [Read more]

<em>William K. Wolfrum</em>'s pic

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – The Danger Zone

Tommy Maddox
Tommy Maddox turns 39 today. He may not have been one of the better quarterbacks in Pittsburgh Steelers history, but he never raped anyone, and that’s a good thing.

  [Read more]

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Potential Incident Could Be Result of Violent Left-Wing Or Right-Wing Maniacs!

NEW YORK — There has been a recent discovery that an unidentified person walked into an unidentified establishment between 3 p.m. and 7 p.m. sometime between Tuesday and Thursday this week. The person, reportedly between the age of 23 to 57, was possibly carrying “zero to four" bags, sources were unable to confirm.

The incident was originally reported at the Web site Drudge Report, under the headline “LIBERAL BAG-TOTING ACTIVIST REIGNS TERROR ON AMERICA.”

A nearby passerby said that there seemed to be something in the bags the person was carrying, if the person was, in fact, carrying bags. [Read more]

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William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Make Music, Not War

<em>William K. Wolfrum</em>'s pic

Ayn Rand & Objectivism - Everything you need to know

Born in 1792 in Monaco, Aynamal "Ayn" Rand was a divisive figure from her very first day. Born with a twin sister, Rand consumed said twin out-of-utero, leaving little left but rib bones and patches of hair from the twin. This incident was inpirational to Rand, who was often quoted as saying "the weak, like my twin, must be used for food by the strong."

A gifted student, Rand was a world-class juggler and spent her early days traveling throughout Europe in a circus. It is there, Rand said, that she added to her philosophical leanings. "If you listen to enough clowns, you'll eventually believe anything,"she once told Maxim Magazine. [Read more]

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An American Boy

I am kind, giving and strong. I am fair and law-abiding. I am smart and resourceful. I respect others and I do no harm. I follow the words of Jesus Christ. I am an American Boy. [Read more]

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William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Dance, Tucker! Dance!

Tucker Carlson
Tucker Carlson’s greatest journalistic achievement.

News/Politics

La Barbie Caught: One of Mexico’s most notorious drug lords has been caught! Also, applications now being accepted for Notorious Mexican Drug Lord. Apply at the FBI. [Read more]

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I have a dream

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity. [Read more]

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William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Tipping the Cow

Alan Simpson
Alan Simpson’s opinion of Social Security and those that accept it.

News/Politics

Pakistan Floods: The watery nightmare continues unabated.

NYC Cabbie Stabbed: Make no mistake, this was a text book hate crime. But what set Michael Enright off? [Read more]

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Neo-Elite Ugliness – Sarah & Todd Palin Video Edition

Via Palingates:

Sarah Palin likes public appearances – provided everything is under control, questions are pre-screened and no potentially critical soul is in sight. Spontaneous, unscripted encounters which are being taped are not her thing, which became painfully obvious when Shannyn Moore recently published “Sarah Palin’s Homer moment”. In Homer, Sarah, Todd and Willow Palin confronted the Alaska teacher Kathleen Gustafson, who put up a huge sign saying “Worst Governor Ever” – and this encounter was taped with a cell phone. This unplanned meeting with Kathleen Gustafson turned out to be a PR-disaster. [Read more]

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William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – A Pee-Wee Protest

Protest this!
You just aren’t American if you aren’t protesting something.

News/Politics

More Bad Eggs: Remember, if you’re going to make an omelet, you’re going to have to give a few thousand people salmonella.

CIA Interrogation Tapes: If you want to make sure torture tapes are eliminated, make sure you check under the desk. [Read more]

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Anti-Muslim conservatives protest Liberal woman living in Hell’s Kitchen

NEW YORK – Ann Thomson, an 83-year-old widow, was awoken last last night to screams of protests by angry conservatives at her her home on 39th Street, in an area known as Hell’s Kitchen.

The protesters were angry that Thompson, a long-time liberal, had told a friend that she didn’t mind the Islamic Center being built two blocks away from Ground Zero.

Opponents chanted “No mosque, no way!” and carried signs reading, “9-11-01: Never Forget,” as Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” blared over loudspeakers. [Read more]

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Bruce Springsteen didn’t write “Born in the U.S.A.” to protest Islamic centers - try reading the lyrics

Over at Alan Colmes Liberaland, I was reading about protests near the Islamic Center two blocks away from Ground Zero, when this struck me:

Opponents chanted “No mosque, no way!” and carried signs reading, “9-11-01: Never Forget,” as Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” blared over loudspeakers.

I'm well aware that the more patriotic someone is, the more they're able to overlook the fact that Springsteen's hit is not in fact a patriotic homage to America, but instead a song dedicated to the lower middle-class being used as fodder for war and their experiences upon returning. [Read more]

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Barack Obama Must Attend Westboro Baptist Church

America faces few problems worse than where and when Barack Obama goes to church. Sure, there are environmental catastrophes to worry about, an economy that shows no interest in bouncing back, wars on God knows how many fronts and unemployment high enough to make Herbert Hoover cringe.

But this is America. And Christ matters.

With 20 percent of Americans believing that Obama is actually a Muslim, it’s time for Obama to turn that tide. He and his family must join the whitest, most conservative Christian Church as possible. [Read more]

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William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Raptor Jesus Edition


Nowhere in the bible does it say that Jesus isn’t a raptor.

News/Politics

Pakistan: A slow-moving tsunami wrecks havoc, as help is slow to come.

John McCain – Winner: Say what you will about John McCain’s flip-flopping, but it will lead him to six more years in the Senate. [Read more]

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If Sarah Palin is a feminist, then I'm a Conservative

This may come as a shock to many of my most loyal readers, but I am, in fact, a conservative.

Yes, my friends, I am well aware of my reputation as a liberal. But those days are now gone. Because I have had an ideological shift, and now embrace Conservatism. Here are my core beliefs: [Read more]

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Austerity in Greece leading to Civil War, not a good economy

Shockingly, turning the population upside down and shaking them to collect loose change isn’t working out as well as the EU or Greece hoped. From Der Spiegel:

This dire prognosis comes even despite Athens’ massive efforts to sort out the country’s finances. The government’s draconian austerity measures have managed to reduce the country’s budget deficit by an almost unbelievable 39.7 percent, after previous governments had squandered tax money and falsified statistics for years. The measures have reduced government spending by a total of 10 percent, 4.5 percent more than the EU and International Monetary Fund (IMF) had required. [Read more]

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William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Taxing Your Faith

gold churches
When you have the money to paint your churches gold, you have enough money to pay income tax, says I.

Wolfrum’s Word

Freedom isn’t free. So why is freedom of religion tax-free? At my latest post at “Alan Colmes Presents Liberaland,” I take a look at whether it’s time to pull the non-profit rug from underneath Churches. [Read more]

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