Maiello: Defeat the Press
Wolraich: Obama at the Gates of... Gates
Liberals and the Twitters are all abuzz after it was announced that Keith Olbermann taped his last "Countdown" show on MSNBC tonight and will be leaving the network. While immediate speculation was made about Comcast's purchase of NBC being why, thus far, no reason has been given. The exit was so swift, MSNBC continued to rum promos for "Countdown" after the announcement was made. [Read more]
TUPELO, MISS — Tim Johnson – a vital source to journalist and blogger William K. Wolfrum – has been declared missing after disappearing a week ago following a camping excursion. Johnson, 43, was last seen doing arm curls with a baby bear last Friday. His whereabouts are currently unknown.
Johnson has been a featured source in numerous blog posts by Wolfrum, including: [Read more]
VATICAN - Pope John Paul II will be beatified on May 1, after Vatican officials judged that the deceased pontiff's ability to make child molestation and sexual abuse charges seem like no big deal was officially a miracle.
"You'd think people would care that the Pope knew full well that Catholic priests who were molesting kids were protected," said Vatican spokesman Father Oliver O'Grady."Turns out, no one seems to care. It's a miracle!" [Read more]
Hello everyone, and welcome to today’s episode of “Answering the Stupidest Questions.”
Today, Time Magazines dares to ask the question ringing in hardly anyone’s mind: “Does the Death of 200 Cows in Wisconsin Confirm Biblical Prophecy?”
Regardless of the outcome of those necropsies, plenty of people find the herd’s mysterious death somewhat apocalyptic, especially in the wake of events that claimed the lives of thousands of birds and fish in Arkansas, and hundreds of birds in Sweden, Louisiana and Kentucky. [Read more]
A story of a dog’s dedication to its family, following their deaths last week in Brazil. Translated from Fohla.com:
The former street-dog Caramelo helped rescue the bodies of its owners, whose were killed during last week’s rains, then did not want to leave the makeshift grave of his owner. [Read more]
SWEDEN - After a full decade of research, a team of Swedish scientists has confirmed that no matter how many guns a man owns, his penis will remain small and insignificant.
"Ve look at ze mens wit ze guns and ve look at ze penis of zeese mens," said Dr. Sven Svenenberg of the Svenlandia Institute. "Itz veery zad. Ze penis is so wee."
In what was the most moving speech of his Presidency, Barack Obama gave the people of Tucson and the U.S. what they needed most - a commanding presence, comforting words and hope. [Read more]
Those inside Sarah Palin's inner circle have come forward to admit the ex-Governor of Alaska was truly heartbroken over the recent massacre in Arizona.
"Sarah is destroyed." said a Palin Associate. "She had a new ad with her holding a hunting rifle to Obama's head. It's a great ad. And harmless. But now she just can't use it.
"And now that her show has been cancelled, we can't have someone drug up a caribou for her to shoot.," added the source. "These are dire times." [Read more]
As the big news agencies initially fumbled the Arizona Massacre story by reporting that Rep. Gabrielle Giffords had been killed by shooter Jared Lee Loughner, online news has shown its strength with numerous takes on the shooting, as well as breaking information.
Here are some stories you may be interested in from around the Web:
Because I know you have been thinking of me, here I am ...
... hanging out next to the remains of Christopher Columbus ...
... shooting the bull ...
... and enjoying some local flavor.
That´s all from Spain for the moment. More to come after I overthrow the joint. Or eat a lot of tapas. Whichever comes first.
NORTH POLE - Looking trim following lap-band surgery, Santa Claus held a press conference today to announce a fundamental change in his long-time tradition of giving toys to good children.
Intent on cutting costs as well as teaching ideological lessons, Claus, 43, said that the time was now for Americans to stop looking for handouts.
A true story: when I was much younger, I used to go across the street from my house, where there were some hedges that I could crawl into. I was a little boy sitting in a bush so no one could see him, playing with my toys and daydreaming. I’d sit in that hedge every day for hours. [Read more]
Much has been said about Julian Assange and Wikileaks. The Australian-born hacker has put America in grave danger due to his publication of classified information that someone else stole.
And he must die.
Yes, my friends, Assange is yet another person that America must kill in order to be the country it needs to be – a country that murders any that upset it. And now, before you start thinking I’m a blood-thirsty maniac, please note that many upstanding patriots agree with me: [Read more]
Part of my morning was spent at the dentist, so there won’t be as much to report today. That said, today is World AIDS Day. As much as ever before, we need to focus on this disease, that is affecting our youth more than ever.
Of late, it seems the fear of AIDS has dissipated somewhat. It shouldn’t. It remains a horrifying disease with no cure. Protect yourselves. All of you. [Read more]
We must stop all leaks. [Read more]
WORLD - Fecal matter is within 13 centimeters of the fan, say noted Swedish researchers in a study to be published in the journal "Hey, We Might Just Be Boned Here Annual." Leading Researcher Tim Jöhnson said the proximity of the fecal matter to the fan should be cause for alarm, but apparently isn't.