Today, the job market is in turmoil. Hard-working, clean-living Americans are finding themselves out of work and on unemployment lines. Families are suffering. Life is more of a struggle then ever.
There is hope, however. Here at Halliburton/KBR we take the skills you already have and modify them to benefit us in one of the thousands of job openings we have. Plus, you can rape.
Yes, at Halliburton/KBR - located in sunny and beautiful Dubai - we have highly paid jobs available for a wide-variety of skilled workers. This is your chance to get involved in the war effort, and to be paid well for doing it. And, of course, you can rape to your heart’s delight.
At Halliburton/KBR, we have done our part to make the U.S. victoriuous in its wars with Iraq and Afghanistan, and we’re always looking for more conflicts. As a private company, we’re always looking for ways to imporove our services to the men and women in uniform. In fact, just last year, we saw a .03 percent drop in the number of troops electrocuted while taking a shower in Halliburton/KBR showers. Once again, private enterprise is showing how much more responsible it is than goivernment.
So come to Halliburton/KBR. We have a job just waiting for you. A job that will give you and your family pride and financial stability. But even more importantly, you’ll be helping to make America the greatest country on Earth.
And you can rape. More or less as much as you want. Without the worries of being jailed for it. Because, 30 white guys have come together and made it clear that rape is just fine by them. Consider that the Halliburton/KBR promise - Rape is just fine by America.
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Read these glowing endorsements from Halliburton/KBR Employees
“In the real world, my tendency to rape was truly frowned upon. Here at Halliburton, it is actally part of the job requirement. I may not be able to fix a water heater, but I sure can rape!“
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“Most other jobs I have held didn`t give me the team-building exercises I needed to truly thrive. At Halliburton/KBR, they have a team-first approach. Once you`ve gang-raped someone with your crew, you have a real connection.“
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So head on over to Halliburton/KBR. Because you can`t spell “Halliburton Professional“ without “Rape.“ For more information about Halliburton/KBR job openings, click here.
--WKW
Comments
On November 30, 2009 another woman that works for KBR was raped:
http://mssparky.com/2009/12/kbr-employee-brutally-raped-at-joint-base-balad-in-iraq/
by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 4:10pm
I'm not sure why our Commander-in-Chief can't get more involved in this one. I realize that KBR is a private company, but surely Obama has some oversight, no?
by Nebton on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 4:30pm
If you're going to refer to Halliburton in the present tense, you need to make sure you have your facts straight. Halliburton sold KBR in 2007. I challenge you to find any evidence of the antics you ascribe to KBR in the company that currently bears the Halliburton name.
No, I don't work for Halliburton, nor have I ever. But I am astounded that the blogosphere continues to drag that company through KBR's muck. There certainly appear to have been "transgressions" (as Tiger puts it) on the KBR side, and KBR rightly should be vilified. Responsibilty must have gone to some level at Halliburton corporate headquarters - have you investigated whether those names are still there? - but the energy side appears to be run much differently.
by Astounded (not verified) on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 7:50pm
Read the links and do the math. The rape case that Al Franken talks about happened 4 years ago. 2009 minus 2007 is less than 4. Haliburton is culpable. The fact that it continues under management independent of Haliburton does not excuse them for their ridiculously miscreant behavior.
by Orlando on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 10:01pm