Richard Day's picture

    Peter Sellers and the Minky

    Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
    .

    I am not that sophisticated in my comedic tastes.

    I will laugh at Larry, Moe & Curly. I mean I cannot watch more than three minutes of them at one time any more, but I have to confess that I cannot drink liquids during even a brief review of  their work.

    I love the Marx Brothers. Can you imagine attempting to amass a national following in the largest capitalist nation in the world with the last name of Marx?

    Oh I can enjoy a good sophisticated comedy I suppose. But I have Email or Ten Minutes to Lose a Man or....I really do not like many comedy romances anymore. If I ever did.

    Peter Sellers is my hero though; as Chief Inspector Clouseau. The single funniest character I have ever seen. Steve Martin is a nice man, I am sure, but I never liked his movies. And he just destroys this character so that I cannot watch any new Pink Panther films.

    I had not had the opportunity to see Sellers in this role for some time and I thought about him a couple days ago and vwella; there he was on our independent channel.


    The dialogue is ridiculous of course. I mean if the office of  Chief Inspector Clouseau is based in Paris, what the hell is he speaking bad English for anyway?  And I wonder how well the Pink Panther Series sold in Paris. It makes no sense. But, then again, comedy is not supposed to make sense it is supposed to be funny.

    Where ever the Chief Inspector goes, havoc abounds. Buildings are blown up. Entire wharves are destroyed. And yet our hero survives, much to the chagrin of Inspector Dreyfus; another hero of mine.

    Here is some of my favorite dialogue and lines from the Pink Panther series:

    Upon discovery that his faithful servant Cato had turned his Paris Apartment into a brothel, Clouseau encounters the proprietress:

    Who are you?

    I am Mrs. Woo but you can call me madame.

    Oh and later:

    I am not your normal, run-of--the-mill transvestite.

    ...........................

    And you two should be ashamed of yourselves--speaking to one prostitute with two rather large bulbous headlites.

    .......................................

    Do you have a Leessaunce for your minky?

    ...............................................................

    I mean what other crime fighter goes undercover as Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec? Or as a Norse sailor with a peg leg and an inflatable parrot; and then have the nerve to tell his contact:

    We must not look overly suspicious.

    .........................

    Where is that dirty little yellow swine? (wondering where Cato is)

    ...............................................

    I shall return as soon as the case as been sol-ved. 

    ................................................

    I am an officer of the leuaw

    ....................................................

    When you have been killed as many times as me...

    ..........................................................

    I am looking for the fern.

    You are looking for the what?

    The fern, I need to use yer fern.

    ..............................................

    My car was severely damaged due to the bimps in the roood

    .......................................

    It's a buuuaaaaaaiiiiiiem

     

    What?

    A beuuuuuuum

    Oh a bomb?

    .......................

    Does your dawg bite?

    No.

    (The mutt bites Clouseau)

    I thought you said your dog does not bite.

    My dog does not bite. But that is not my dog.

    Here are some more lines I stole from a site:

     

    Clouseau: Do you have a REUM?
    Inn Keeper: I do not know what a REUM iz!
    Clouseau: Zimma
    Inn Keeper: Ahhh.. a RRRUUUMMM!
    Clouseau: That is what I have been saying you idiot! REUM!

    Special delivery, a behm, were you expecting one?.. A Behm? Ahhhaaaahhhaaaoooww

    You'll catch your death of cold. Clouseau: Yes, yes I probably will but... its all part of life's rich pagentry you kneau.

    What do we know..
    ONE.. That the professor and his daughter have been kidnapped
    TWO... That someone has kid-nap-ped them and
    THREE..... MY HAND IS ON FIRE!!!

    This is a very serious matter and everyone is this reuoom is under the suspicions

    Clouseau: And who are yeu ?
    Jarvis: I'm Jarvis, the butler.
    Clouseau: And what is it yeu deu..?

    Monsieur..Don't try to be funnayyyy with me

    http://www.richardpettinger.com/funny/peter_sellers/peter_sellers_quotes

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

     

    I cheated and stole from the site to demonstrate how impossible it is to spell what the idiot is saying.

    Oh and here is a site for videos:

    http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&q=pink+panther+quotes+peter+sellers&sourceid=navclient-ff&rlz=1B3GGGL_enUS324US325&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=b-M3S-nLOovIMeLp3e4P&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&ct=title&resnum=11&ved=0CEAQqwQwCg#

    But just go to youtube and type in Peter Sellers or Clouseau. Videos abound.

    Dreyfus, the first Chief Inspector, whom Clouseau eventually drives mad, is just as funny.

    My favorite line comes to the fore after he somehow manages to shoot himself in the face. His aid runs into his office to find out what is wrong, and Herbert Lom is in the floor.  Lom says:

    What are you standing there for? Come and help me find my nose.

    And what, pray tell, is the purpose of this post? Nothing really; I watched The Pink Panther Returns and I wrote about clowns yesterday.  When I saw Sellers dressed as Lautrec, I could not think of anything else to write about.


    Comments

    This is more than fun!

    Shows up nine years late.

    haha

    Its a bauuuuum? ha


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