Michael Wolraich's picture

    BREAKING: McCain denies deal with the Devil

    The blogosphere is abuzz with rumors about a secret deal between John McCain and Satan. A contributor to popular political blog, TPM Cafe, first broke the story last week in a post entitled, Lady MacDeath - A Faustian Bargain of Sinister Deception. According to blogger TheraP, who does not quote any sources, Satan promised John McCain the Presidency in 2008 in return for sacrificing his soul and selecting Sarah Palin to be his running mate. David Ignatius, op-ed columnist to the Washington Post, apparently deemed the story credible enough to mention the alleged deal in his column the next day, though he does not cite TheraP directly. A damning photo has also surfaced in another TPM Cafe blog by user ☠enghis (no relation), which appears to show John McCain in the act of signing a contract with a demonic being, though the terms are obscured.

    If the rumors can be substantiated, it could complicate John McCain's election chances. In a 2006 interview with Ignatius, McCain declared, "The worst thing I can do is sell my soul to the devil." If it turns out that McCain has in fact sold his soul, the Obama campaign may try to brand him as a flip-flopper. Even if his soul were not part of the arrangement, McCain could face sharp criticism for negotiating with a supernatural entity that most Americans despise. According to a recent Gallup poll, Satan tops the list of the The Most Evil Things Ever, coming in fifth place after taxes, pedophilia, greedy bankers, and hemorrhoids. Finally, voters may question McCain's judgment in entering a contract with Satan, who is notorious for double-dealing. According to Maggie Walsh, Professor of Human-Demon Relationships at University of California, Sunnydale, "any contractual relationship with Mephistopheles is risky, but it doesn't take a rocket theologian to see how this one's going to play out. McCain will get his Presidency, the Devil will get his Vice President, and then poof: Palin's in the White House and McCain's in the Red House. I hope that he had a good lawyer."

    The McCain campaign has officially ignored the allegations, but as the rumors swirl, McCain is apparently feeling the heat. Asked about the charges at a town hall meeting yesterday, McCain responded angrily, "I did not have contractual relations with that demon, you little jerk." Meanwhile, campaign spokesman, Tucker Bounds, tried to tie Obama to the Devil, telling CNN news, "It's well known that Obama's advisor's sister-in-law's niece is a Satanist. Perhaps the media should be asking Senator Obama the hard questions about his relationship with the Devil."

    Satan's office has also put out a press relying denying that any deal had taken place, "We reject and denounce the long discredited practice of soul trafficking, and we have a firm policy against meddling in human affairs." But a source close to the Devil who refused to be identified for fear of eternal damnation insinuated that the policy was flexible, "I can't talk about any deals, but Satan has a soft spot for righteous hypocrisy and a great deal of respect for the way John McCain has run his Presidential campaign." Asked whether Satan has ever done any deals with representatives from the Federal Government, she replied, "Let's just say that the White House visitation logs are still incomplete."

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    Comments

    Break a leg with the new site gentlemen!

    Bruce


    Thanks so much for the good wishes, Bruce. Come back often. We'll be posting here more often and on a greater variety of subjects than at TPM.


    Hello everyone,i am one of the Agents sent by the Lord superior (Grand master) to bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati order,I am a business man, I own a Construction company, and i also own one of the Big Electronic Appliance shop in one of the country, and my family now lives in USA, i was once like you, me & my husband were financially down to 1 square meal a day, what kind of life was that to live, I lived in poverty until i saw an opportunity to be a member of the GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD and i took my chances and i have been a member for close to 10 years now. The higher you get the richer you become. Illuminati makes your business grow faster than you can ever imagine,illuminati brings out the talent in you and make you famous, as you become a member of illuminati order you will receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account, these and many more other benefits you stand to gain, so if you are interested to be a member contact us now... [telepathically? sorry dog - i.e. me - ate your homework - PP] JOIN US TODAY & BECOME RICH,POWERFUL AND FAMOUS ALL YOUR LIFE. 

    [yes, the Church of Bob has us in their blessed sights... slack AND cold cash, it seems - PP]

    [PS - since when did Construction and Appliances become big in esoteric circles? strange times we live in ]


    PP: I must say I got a real kick out of this, it would definitely fit on my thread CONSPIRACY THEORIES ARE FUN AND MAGICAL Certainly not the same old same old phishing spam. Why should the Illuminati be an enemy anyways?


    Hello everyone,i am one of the Agents sent by the Lord superior (Grand master) to bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati order,I am a business man, I own a Construction company, and i also own one of the Big Electronic Appliance shop in one of the country, and my family now lives in USA, i was once like you, me & my husband were financially down to 1 square meal a day, what kind of life was that to live, I lived in poverty until i saw an opportunity to be a member of the GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD and i took my chances and i have been a member for close to 10 years now. The higher you get the richer you become. Illuminati makes your business grow faster than you can ever imagine,illuminati brings out the talent in you and make you famous, as you become a member of illuminati order you will receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account, these and many more other benefits you stand to gain, so if you are interested to be a member contact us now on email [click your heels together and say "there's no place like Bob, there's no place like Bob" - PP] JOIN US TODAY & BECOME RICH,POWERFUL AND FAMOUS ALL YOUR LIFE.


    Fuck owning a Construction company and a Big Electronic Appliance shop. When I become a member "receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account" I'm going to retire and live out the rest of my days in leisure.


    Yeah, I wouldn't trust this guy as I am pretty sure from all I read that Illuminati don't have to work except for attending the annual meeting at Bilderberg.


    It always amazes me when I read that stuff like this or Nigerian scams often work. How?


    Not true - Bob encourages conspicuous consumption and the steady accretion of Mega$$$ - it's all part of his blessed plan of $lack. He even coined Yahweh II.0 before Internet 2.0 was a thing - he is all knowing, all munificent, with the emphasis on "cent".


    Hello everyone,i am one of the Agents sent by the Lord superior (Grand master) to bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati order,I am a business man, I own a Construction company, and i also own one of the Big Electronic Appliance shop in one of the country, and my family now lives in USA, i was once like you, me & my husband were financially down to 1 square meal a day, what kind of life was that to live, I lived in poverty until i saw an opportunity to be a member of the GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD and i took my chances and i have been a member for close to 10 years now. The higher you get the richer you become. Illuminati makes your business grow faster than you can ever imagine,illuminati brings out the talent in you and make you famous, as you become a member of illuminati order you will receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account, these and many more other benefits you stand to gain, so if you are interested to be a member contact us now on email [email protected] or whatssp +2349073889037 JOIN US TODAY.


    HOW TO JOIN ILLUMINATI CULT TEMPLE

    Hello everyone,i am one of the Agents sent by the Lord superior (Grand master) to bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati order,I am a business man, I own a Construction company, and i also own one of the Big Electronic Appliance shop in one of the country, and my family now lives in USA, i was once like you, me & my husband were financially down to 1 square meal a day, what kind of life was that to live, I lived in poverty until i saw an opportunity to be a member of the GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD and i took my chances and i have been a member for close to 10 years now. The higher you get the richer you become. Illuminati makes your business grow faster than you can ever imagine,illuminati brings out the talent in you and make you famous, as you become a member of illuminati order you will receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account, these and many more other benefits you stand to gain, so if you are interested to be a member contact us now on whatssp +666 or email signofthedevil JOIN US TODAY & BECOME RICHWERFUL AND FAMOUS ALL YOUR LIFE. 


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