Michael Wolraich's picture

    BREAKING: McCain denies deal with the Devil

    The blogosphere is abuzz with rumors about a secret deal between John McCain and Satan. A contributor to popular political blog, TPM Cafe, first broke the story last week in a post entitled, Lady MacDeath - A Faustian Bargain of Sinister Deception. According to blogger TheraP, who does not quote any sources, Satan promised John McCain the Presidency in 2008 in return for sacrificing his soul and selecting Sarah Palin to be his running mate. David Ignatius, op-ed columnist to the Washington Post, apparently deemed the story credible enough to mention the alleged deal in his column the next day, though he does not cite TheraP directly. A damning photo has also surfaced in another TPM Cafe blog by user ☠enghis (no relation), which appears to show John McCain in the act of signing a contract with a demonic being, though the terms are obscured.

    If the rumors can be substantiated, it could complicate John McCain's election chances. In a 2006 interview with Ignatius, McCain declared, "The worst thing I can do is sell my soul to the devil." If it turns out that McCain has in fact sold his soul, the Obama campaign may try to brand him as a flip-flopper. Even if his soul were not part of the arrangement, McCain could face sharp criticism for negotiating with a supernatural entity that most Americans despise. According to a recent Gallup poll, Satan tops the list of the The Most Evil Things Ever, coming in fifth place after taxes, pedophilia, greedy bankers, and hemorrhoids. Finally, voters may question McCain's judgment in entering a contract with Satan, who is notorious for double-dealing. According to Maggie Walsh, Professor of Human-Demon Relationships at University of California, Sunnydale, "any contractual relationship with Mephistopheles is risky, but it doesn't take a rocket theologian to see how this one's going to play out. McCain will get his Presidency, the Devil will get his Vice President, and then poof: Palin's in the White House and McCain's in the Red House. I hope that he had a good lawyer."

    The McCain campaign has officially ignored the allegations, but as the rumors swirl, McCain is apparently feeling the heat. Asked about the charges at a town hall meeting yesterday, McCain responded angrily, "I did not have contractual relations with that demon, you little jerk." Meanwhile, campaign spokesman, Tucker Bounds, tried to tie Obama to the Devil, telling CNN news, "It's well known that Obama's advisor's sister-in-law's niece is a Satanist. Perhaps the media should be asking Senator Obama the hard questions about his relationship with the Devil."

    Satan's office has also put out a press relying denying that any deal had taken place, "We reject and denounce the long discredited practice of soul trafficking, and we have a firm policy against meddling in human affairs." But a source close to the Devil who refused to be identified for fear of eternal damnation insinuated that the policy was flexible, "I can't talk about any deals, but Satan has a soft spot for righteous hypocrisy and a great deal of respect for the way John McCain has run his Presidential campaign." Asked whether Satan has ever done any deals with representatives from the Federal Government, she replied, "Let's just say that the White House visitation logs are still incomplete."

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    Comments

    Break a leg with the new site gentlemen!

    Bruce


    Thanks so much for the good wishes, Bruce. Come back often. We'll be posting here more often and on a greater variety of subjects than at TPM.


    Hello everyone,i am one of the Agents sent by the Lord superior (Grand master) to bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati order,I am a business man, I own a Construction company, and i also own one of the Big Electronic Appliance shop in one of the country, and my family now lives in USA, i was once like you, me & my husband were financially down to 1 square meal a day, what kind of life was that to live, I lived in poverty until i saw an opportunity to be a member of the GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD and i took my chances and i have been a member for close to 10 years now. The higher you get the richer you become. Illuminati makes your business grow faster than you can ever imagine,illuminati brings out the talent in you and make you famous, as you become a member of illuminati order you will receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account, these and many more other benefits you stand to gain, so if you are interested to be a member contact us now... [telepathically? sorry dog - i.e. me - ate your homework - PP] JOIN US TODAY & BECOME RICH,POWERFUL AND FAMOUS ALL YOUR LIFE. 

    [yes, the Church of Bob has us in their blessed sights... slack AND cold cash, it seems - PP]

    [PS - since when did Construction and Appliances become big in esoteric circles? strange times we live in ]


    PP: I must say I got a real kick out of this, it would definitely fit on my thread CONSPIRACY THEORIES ARE FUN AND MAGICAL Certainly not the same old same old phishing spam. Why should the Illuminati be an enemy anyways?


    Hello everyone,i am one of the Agents sent by the Lord superior (Grand master) to bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati order,I am a business man, I own a Construction company, and i also own one of the Big Electronic Appliance shop in one of the country, and my family now lives in USA, i was once like you, me & my husband were financially down to 1 square meal a day, what kind of life was that to live, I lived in poverty until i saw an opportunity to be a member of the GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD and i took my chances and i have been a member for close to 10 years now. The higher you get the richer you become. Illuminati makes your business grow faster than you can ever imagine,illuminati brings out the talent in you and make you famous, as you become a member of illuminati order you will receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account, these and many more other benefits you stand to gain, so if you are interested to be a member contact us now on email [click your heels together and say "there's no place like Bob, there's no place like Bob" - PP] JOIN US TODAY & BECOME RICH,POWERFUL AND FAMOUS ALL YOUR LIFE.


    Fuck owning a Construction company and a Big Electronic Appliance shop. When I become a member "receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account" I'm going to retire and live out the rest of my days in leisure.


    Yeah, I wouldn't trust this guy as I am pretty sure from all I read that Illuminati don't have to work except for attending the annual meeting at Bilderberg.


    It always amazes me when I read that stuff like this or Nigerian scams often work. How?


    Not true - Bob encourages conspicuous consumption and the steady accretion of Mega$$$ - it's all part of his blessed plan of $lack. He even coined Yahweh II.0 before Internet 2.0 was a thing - he is all knowing, all munificent, with the emphasis on "cent".


    Hello everyone,i am one of the Agents sent by the Lord superior (Grand master) to bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati order,I am a business man, I own a Construction company, and i also own one of the Big Electronic Appliance shop in one of the country, and my family now lives in USA, i was once like you, me & my husband were financially down to 1 square meal a day, what kind of life was that to live, I lived in poverty until i saw an opportunity to be a member of the GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD and i took my chances and i have been a member for close to 10 years now. The higher you get the richer you become. Illuminati makes your business grow faster than you can ever imagine,illuminati brings out the talent in you and make you famous, as you become a member of illuminati order you will receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account, these and many more other benefits you stand to gain, so if you are interested to be a member contact us now on email [email protected] or whatssp +2349073889037 JOIN US TODAY.


    HOW TO JOIN ILLUMINATI CULT TEMPLE

    Hello everyone,i am one of the Agents sent by the Lord superior (Grand master) to bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati order,I am a business man, I own a Construction company, and i also own one of the Big Electronic Appliance shop in one of the country, and my family now lives in USA, i was once like you, me & my husband were financially down to 1 square meal a day, what kind of life was that to live, I lived in poverty until i saw an opportunity to be a member of the GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD and i took my chances and i have been a member for close to 10 years now. The higher you get the richer you become. Illuminati makes your business grow faster than you can ever imagine,illuminati brings out the talent in you and make you famous, as you become a member of illuminati order you will receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account, these and many more other benefits you stand to gain, so if you are interested to be a member contact us now on whatssp +666 or email signofthedevil JOIN US TODAY & BECOME RICHWERFUL AND FAMOUS ALL YOUR LIFE. 


    Am giving a testimony of how i become rich and famous today... i was deeply strangled up by poverty and i had no body to help me, and also i search for help from different corners but to no avail... i see people around me getting rich but to me i was so ashamed of my self so i met a man on my way he was very rich and he was a doctor so he told me something and i think over it though out the day so the next day i looked up and i keep repeating what he said to me.

    If you want to get rich quick and be famous"
    you need to cross your heart and do what
    is in your mind

    so i tried all i could in other for me to do as he said so later on i told my fellow friend about this same thing then my friend was interested in my suggestions so i decided to look in the internet and i found an email address of this great fraternity( [email protected]) so we decided to contact them and unfortunately we did as they instruct us to do and later they told us to get some requirements and all the rest... so this initiation took us just a week and later on the great fraternity gave us $70,000,000.00 to start up our lives.... and now am testifying that if in any case you want to join any great fraternity all you need to do is for you to contact them because they are legitimate and they do as what they instructed them to do okay so email them now at ([email protected] ) or whatsapp us now with this number +13019692020


    Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony, I am giving my testimony, because my life is change for good, i am rich and successful in my life, i was totally frustrated with the people i believe they can help me but nobody was ready to help me, i was called nobody in my family, I was tired of asking people for help because they are not ready to help me, i see people around me getting rich, living a good life, happy with they family, but to me i was so ashamed of my self, i always ask myself how can i become rich and successful in my life, because i see nobody helping me, i want to a shopping-mall to see people and sit down and think of my life, when i was sitting a man close to me said, what is your problems young man, i was carried away because i think of so many things, the man said again young man what is your problems, them i asked i have nobody to help me, i am totally frustrated, the man asked me that i am ready to help you so he told me something, that if i would like to join the illuminati brotherhood, and i think over it though out the day so the next day i looked up and i keep repeating what he said to me, them i make up my mind to join the illuminati brotherhood, since i joined the illuminati brotherhood i am so proud of myself living a good life, well know in the world rich and famous, if you are interested to join the illuminati, you are free to join, if you live in America it is free to join the illuminati brotherhood, email: [email protected] you can call us or whatsapp us now +13019692020 to join the illuminati brotherhood and become successful in life.


    But "Morgan Larry", you need to check out the "In the News" section here: the FBI's been looking for you and your buddy Jose. Maybe that's why you're hiding on old Dagblog​ threads?


    ARE YOU LOOKING FOR RICHES, FAME, POWERS, KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM. Are you a business Man or Woman, Politician, Musician, Pastor, Lawyer, Actor, Actress, Banker, Footballer, Model, Graduate, student, Engineer And you want to be Rich, Famous and Powerful in Life, And NO HUMAN SACRIFICE.
    THIS IS YOUR GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY, The great Illuminati brotherhood will make you Rich, Powerful, famous and wealthy. You can achieve all your dreams and heart desire by being a member of the Illuminati brotherhood, Long life and prosperity here on Earth.
    If you really want to become a member of the great Illuminati contact us today VIA: [email protected] or Whatsapp +2348180828544
    HAIL LUCIFER..


    Not here I'm not and I also really don't believe Lucifer is on my side. I see now, though, why you like this thread! It's the illustration that's drawing you.


    Not because of the trenchant, hilarious political commentary? I'm crestfallen.


    Ah but glass half full, you have clickbait talent in your choice of illustrations. And it's cross-demographics, we art historian types get a kick out your choices too....


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