KFC announces new “Eat It Off The Floor, Bitch!” Promotion

KENTUCKY – Following its hyper-successful “KFC Famous Bowls” and “Double-Down Sandwich” campaigns, KFC has announced its newest promotion – “KFC’s Eat It Off The Floor, Bitch!” combo.

The meal will consist of flavorful fried chicken pieces, creamy mashed potatoes with savory gravy and a beverage of your choice. The combo will then be thrown on the floor, where the customer has to eat it, all the while KFC employees berate the customer with insults.

“First, we just shoved everything into a bowl. Then we replaced bread with chicken,” said KFC spokesman Tim Johnson. “Obviously, though, we’ve underestimated the incredible amount of self-loathing in our customers.”

The meal – which will come with a broken “Shrek 4″ figurine and a used handi-wipe – will cost $3.99 plus a big chunk of customers’ dignity. KFC officials are expecting a big response.

“We thought ‘hmmm, could we just throw the chicken in people’s faces?’ but then decided it would be better to make them eat it off the floor,” said Johnson. “It’s like the Colonel always said: ‘We could shove fried chicken into used trash bags and these idiots would still buy it.’”

–WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles