Michael Wolraich's picture

    Premium New Year's resolutions for every occasion - now on Ebay

    Don't spend begin the new year without a resolution! At Premium Resolutions, Inc., we supply the finest New Year's resolutions for every situation. Visit us on EBay today! Here are a few samples of our offerings:

    For elite anti-pirate officers of the Indian navy:
    I resolve not to sink any Thai fishing boats.
    Buy Now: $3.99

    For Thai fisherman:
    I resolve to avoid the Indian navy.
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    The Zaftig Redhead's picture

    Got a Question? The Obama Transition Team has Answers -- and Plenty of Sunlight

    The Obama Presidential Transition continues to be one of the speediest ever -- this bodes well for the new president's ability to decisively govern in these chaotic times. While the team has tried to keep some things -- like the vetting of potential cabinet officers -- close to the vest, in other ways the transition process has been one of the most open and interactive in history. The Obama team is playing it smart, and converting their grassroots machinery from that of a get-out-the-vote operation to policy participation.

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    Orlando's picture

    What is Israel Doing?

    I used to watch The West Wing. In one of the very first episodes, the fictional president gets a briefing from the fictional Chairman of the Joint Chiefs in which the term “proportional response” is explained. The president is angry because terrorists shot down a military transport plane carrying someone with whom he had a personal relationship and he is ready to unleash the power of the United States military in retribution. The Chairman patiently explains that when they shoot down one of our planes, we take out a target that would be considered equitable.

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    Michael Wolraich's picture

    New Year's Resolution Generator ™

    New Year's Eve is over. Visit the THE VALENTINE GENERATOR™.

    It's that time of year again. Resolution time. We're all supposed to come up with some great goals for 2009. But worthwhile goals aren't easy to come by. Sure, you could promise to quit smoking or abusing pigeons or getting naked in public or whatever boring resolution you make every year and violate three days later, but you've been there and done that.

    Mortimus's picture

    Are the Yankees' Free Agent Signings...

    The Scariest Economic Indicator of all?!?!

    Wall Street is a barren stretch of gloom and tumbleweed, unemployment could sniff double digits in '09, yet the Yankees are spending money as if its 'the day after tomorrow.'

    $423.5 million in total salary
    Mark Teixiera - 8 years, $180 million
    C.C. Sabathia - 7 years, $161 million
    A.J. Burnett - 5 years, $82.5 million

    In less than 10 days the Pinstripes poured through enough money to make even Dennis Kozlowski blush.

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    Deadman's picture

    Predictions ... Revisiting old ones and making new ones

    In my most recent question column earlier this week, I asked for readers' predictions for the upcoming year ... aside from Genghis bravely predicting that Obama would become POTUS, I didn't get too many responses.

    So I'm going to ask for your predictions again, while repeating some of the predictions I made and adding a couple of more, before I revisit some calls I made this year.

    Prophet's picture

    Top Ten Albums of '08 - Numbers 6, 5 and 4

    Well, I believe I've managed to achieve the slowest roll-out of a top ten list.  You know you're in bad shape when you start before everyone else and you're still on number 7 come Christmas.

    Therefore, we're going to speed this up a bit.  Here are my choices for numbers 6, 5, and 4.  (3, 2, and 1 to come)

    Orlando's picture

    Threat Level ORANGE or Merry Christmas from NORAD: Your Tax Dollars at Work

    After 9/11, the Department of Homeland Security gave us a nicely color-coded Fear Chart, so that we, the American people, would know just exactly how afraid we are. You know how Deadman was saying the other day that he uses the Weather.com minute-by-minute forecast to know when to walk his dog? That’s kind of how I am with the Homeland Security Fear Chart. Because without it, I wouldn’t have any idea how scared I was.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Chanukkah For Goyim - The True Story of Chanukkah + Bonus Pronunciation Tips

    Gather round, children, and I will tell you the story of Chanukkah (which I brazenly lifted from the internet).

    Long ago in the land of Judea there was a Syrian king, Antiochus. The king ordered the Jewish people to reject their God, their religion, their customs and their beliefs and to worship the Greek gods. There were some who did as they were told, but many refused. One who refused was Judah Maccabee.

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    Deadman's picture

    Questions roasting on an open-source blog...

    Questions: The Happy Holidays Edition

    1) Christmas Songs

    2) Christmas Lights

    3) Best gift

    4) Come, Sit on My Lap

    5) No, really, come sit on my lap

    6) The Ball or The Parade

    7) New Year's Resolution

    8) Prediction Time

    And because I'm out of holiday questions, a couple lingering non-thematic questions

    9) Tipping

    10) Pigeons

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