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    U.S. Officials: "Happy New Year" greetings likely originated in Yemen

    By William K. Wolfrum on Sun, 12/27/2009 - 12:08pm | Humor & Satire, World Affairs

    ITALY - Blogger William K. Wolfrum today sent Happy New Years greetings to all his friends, family and readers. Upon hearing this news, U.S. officials quickly surmised that the greeting likely originated in Yemen.

    "At this point it may be too early to tell, but we have it on good authority that the New Years greetings in question more than likely originated in Yemen," said an anonymous U.S. official. "Al Qaeda has a stronghold in Yemen, and the recent attempted terrorist attack came from someone in Yemen. Yemen."

    Wolfrum, reportedly on vacation, has denied any connection to Yemen, and has admitted only to struggling to find the apostrophe key on an Italian keyboard, thus forcing him to try and write everything sans apostrophes.

    "It is a real pain in the ass, let me tell all of you," said Wolfrum.

    U.S. officials responded by saying in is well known that Yemen is a growing terrorist stronghold that rarely used apostrophes.

    "Yemen," said the officials.

    Nonetheless, Wolfrum was adamant about getting his greetings out.

    "I wish all of you a Happy New Year, and hope that 2010 is a wonderful year for you all, in every way imaginable," said Wolfrum.

    --WKW

    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire
    World Affairs

    Comments

    Hamlet Act III, Scene ii: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

    The more you deny it, the more obvious the connection becomes…


    by Nebton on Sun, 12/27/2009 - 6:41pm

    Wolfie's a chick?


    by Orlando on Sun, 12/27/2009 - 11:01pm

    She's a dwarven chick. They have beards, too.


    by Nebton on Mon, 12/28/2009 - 8:36am

    Yemen


    by Michael Wolraich on Mon, 12/28/2009 - 9:28am

    I have been reading "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides, so as of now, I feel that my gender is a confused morass of yes, nos and maybes.

    Also, I am not writing this anywhere near Yemen. And If I was, you could be sure Tiger Woods was somehow involved, as is Sarah Palin. Trust me, it all converges.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Tue, 12/29/2009 - 7:19am