(Originally posted Feb 4, 2009 at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles)

Having gone over and over it, it’s clear now that there really is only one difference between myself and Colombian pop sensation Shakira. My hips lie.

The far right, convinced that Iranian Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad were planning to destroy the world today with its massive, unchecked nuclear arsenal, can rest easy thus far, as Iran seems only intent on showing the world it’s military might by making life Hell for it

BRAZIL – After temperatures soared to more than 100 degrees Fahrenheit today in both Sao Paulo and Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, a group of scientists working on a comprehensive study stated that Global Warming has now been proved, and no further testing or data is required on the subject.

“Our group went outside and felt extremely warm,” said noted climate Scientist John Timson. “This confirms all our beliefs. Global Warming is a fact.”

If you wish, you can dismiss it as mere Monday morning quarterbacking.  I prefer to call it taking advantage of hindsight.  What follows here is my take on the major mistakes of the Democratic party during the first year of the Obama administration.  It's my opinion, straight up.  Take it or leave it.

This is the first of three installments.

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Senate Republicans and Democrats have done an admirable job showing that now may be the time for the filibuster to do away with Congress once and for all. As the nation shakily tries to regain its footing on precarious economic recovery – one that is very likely to turn back into an economic crisis at any minute – it may be time for both parties to use the filibuster non-stop until Congress itself is permanently shelved.

This was originally posted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles on Jan. 27, 2009

Louie Psihoyos wants to win an Academy Award. For the Director of the Oscar-nominated documentary “The Cove,” being nominated is great, but when the envelope is opened, he wants to hear his film called out. Mind you, Psihoyos doesn’t much care about the award itself (“I’d probably give it to the crew,” he said.), but he wants what he sees as the biggest benefit an Oscar offers – a massive audience.

Dear Tea Partiers,

For a long, long time now, I’ve been hearing American Patriots going on and on about how they’ve lost their country. And by “long, long time” I mean “since Barack Obama was elected President.” And by “going on and on” I mean, “freaking out about Barack Obama being elected President.” But this is neither here nor there.

WASHINGTON – Timothy Johnson was taking a walk near his home in Washington, D.C., when he walked near Capitol Hill. Noticing his shoe was untied, Johnson bent to tie it. Then all hell broke loose, as his actions somehow filibustered every bill currently in Congress, as well as placed holds all of President Barack Obama’s nominations for government positions.

“That was me?” said Johnson. “Eek. I’m really sorry about that.”

It seems the moment that Barack Obama took over the Presidency of the United States, his overall message changed. “Change We Can Believe in” morphed into “Bipartisanship: Now and Forever.” Like Bill Clinton before him, the need for Republican acceptance has become a an almost fetish for Obama, with the results thus far quite predictable – the U.S. government is now radically partisan.

Focus on the Family paid how much for this ad?

Dear Mr. Alexander,

ANCHORAGE - Recently released e-mails by the Alaska State Government showed that Sarah Palin’s youngest daughter Piper, then 7, handled most of Alaska’s State business in 2008.

“If I don’t get a happy meal, heads are going to roll,” thundered Piper in an e-mail to then-Lt. Governor Sean Parnell in March. “And the toy better not be doodie!”

59-year-old Karl Rove is out to prove to the world that nice guys finish last and that evil douchebags finish in love. Tighten your security and prepare to be politically mauled as this Republican Political Operative is ready to trash reputations and destroy lives as the Bachelor.

So a lot of people, including the President, have been talking lately about remedying the evils of college football. The chief evil that needs remedying is apparently the Bowl Championship System, which isn't enough of a "real" championship and needs to be replaced with a system of playoffs. That's a big surprise to me, because I can think of a lot of other problems with big-time college football, and instituting playoffs would probably make them worse.

While it’s all fun and games with the pretend tough guys over at Overstock.com, Patrick Byrne and crew have done all us financial layman a favor – they’ve made the term “Cookie Jar Reserve” easier for us to understand.

Immediately following the recent injury of freshly elected Republican Senator Scott Brown, there has been some speculation that the Massachusetts Senator might not be sworn in this afternoon after all. However, according to a source at the House GOP leadership, such rumors and speculations are not only premature, but entirely baseless.

"We don't expect Senator Brown's ceremony this afternoon to be delayed. He will be sworn in at around 5 pm, and will thereafter be able to vote on any bills that may come before the Senate," reported an aide on the condition of anonymity.

I have never served in the U.S. military. It was never really an option for me, as I tend to be quite cowardly and flee at the first sight of trouble. Also, I’m about as disciplined as Dennis Rodman. In fact, not only have I never served, I don’t really even know anyone currently serving. Nonetheless, I know exactly what men and women in the military are thinking.

Listening to Marketplace this evening, I heard guest Tyler Cowen mention that the people of Haiti are literally eating mudcakes.  This struck me as astonishing, so I immediately employed the use of Google to verify whether this was true.  Well, it turns out that it is: