Michael Wolraich's picture

    About Face!

    Sometimes I feel as if we're all participating in some kind of psychology experiment and that any minute now, an old guy in a white coat will peer down from the heavens and tell us that we can remove our armbands and go home. Recent political events seem designed to expose our rational failings and prove that in the end, we're all just rats in a maze.

    Was it only a few weeks ago that McCain derided Obama's lack of experience and ran ads proclaiming, "Hot Chicks Dig Obama?" Now McCain has found a celebrity of his own in Sarah Palin. She's young, she's attractive, she electrifies crowds, and she lacks experience. The campaign tries hard to present her as an everywoman, but despite her folksy manner, Palin is no more an average "hockey mom" than Britney Spears. Many celebrities, including Palin and Spears, have humble origins. They transform into celebrities when they become objects of national attention and sensationalist journalism. For Palin, this began when she ran for governor of Alaska and blossomed when McCain made her his running mate. Whether the ticket wins or loses, we'll follow daughter Bristol's pregnancy and marriage with the same prurient fascination that we have devoted to Britney's. Even "trooper-gate" will likely garner more ink from tabloids than than political rags, as we probe the intimate details of sister Molly McCann's sad marriage to a sadistic cop.

    Though McCain's choice of running mate is cynical, and his effusive praise of Palin's "executive experience" is hypocritical, he and his campaign staff are at least behaving rationally. Their objective is to win the election; their strategic decisions and public statements promote that objective. But the rapid about face by legions of loyal supporters is a mind-blowing experiment in mass rationalization. McCain supporters who only a week ago dismissed Obama as a young, inexperienced lightweight now play up the significance of P.T.A. leadership. They smirked at Obama's adoring fans packing stadiums, but they danced ecstatically and gushed like teenagers when Palin took the stage. "Hot chicks" may dig Obama, but Republican delegates from Indiana now wear pins declaring their collective passion for "The Hot Chick." Perhaps Obama should roll out a new ad in which creepy old guys express admiration for the Palin's "aura." Republicans would denounce it as crass; Democrats would call it a joke and tell them to lighten up.

    The most extreme Republican flip-flop concerns Bristol's pregnancy. How many people who now contend that teen pregnancy is a normal problem afflicting average Americans self-righteously denigrated the parenting skills and/or socioeconomic status of Britney Spears' mother when her teenage daughter, Jamie Lynn, got pregnant? (Side note: Jamie Lynn has apparently sent Bristol some burp cloths as a baby gift.) And imagine the Republican outcry if one of Obama's daughter's were to become pregnant at seventeen. Conservatives would loudly blame Michelle for trying to balance a career with motherhood and darkly hint at endemic cultural problems among the black community.

    But Republicans aren't the only flip-floppers. How many Obama supporters who have boldly defended the importance of judgment over experience now dismiss Palin for lacking the latter? How many years of governing experience does it take cross the "Commander in Chief threshold?" And why was Clinton's candidacy a milestone for women while Palin's is a joke? When Jane Swift had twins as acting governor of Massachusetts, did mothers who now challenge Palin question Swift's ability to raise children while in office? If one of Obama's daughters were to become pregnant in a few years, would Democrats insist that the issue is fair game for the press or demand that the family's privacy be respected? There are ways to explain these variances of opinion of course. There can be a "right kind" of governing experience, and a "right kind" of female candidate, but I wonder whether it's the political commitments that are fixed, whereas the explanations just fill in the logic gaps after the fact.

    As I watched the speeches last night, I listened to fellow Democrats reassure one another about how horrible Palin and the other speakers were. I read the angry, incredulous, and dismissive comments about Palin in the blogs. If I were the white-coated psychologist, and the election were my experiment, I would push the test to the limit. McCain would win the Presidency but have an affair with an intern, lie about it under oath, and get impeached by the Democratic Legislature. Hillary Clinton, campaigning on a message of "Experience for Change" would defeat Sarah Palin in 2012 and promptly re-invade Iraq. Dick Cheney, in the role of elder statesman, would decry the invasion and demand that the Clinton Administration release classified intelligence. Britney Spears would transform herself into a champion of feminism and gay rights, lead a movement called "Hot Chicks for Hot Chicks" and ultimately succeed Schwarzenegger as the Governor of California. During Governor Spears' tenure, her 12-year-old son would impregnate New York Senator Chelsea Clinton.

    The experiment is over. You may remove your armbands and go home.

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