In a last minute surprise, Trump's untraditional campaign team upset the over-confident Falcons last night to win the 51st Super Bowl held in Trump-friendly Texas.
Neglecting to revisit key strategic border sections of the field more amenable to their game play, the Falcons relied on an over-cautious strategy from their early lead going into halftime, giving the Patriots the opportunity to microtarget an unnoticed but increasingly receptive field of key white receivers. The Nation's Team relied on the more exceptional game play of true stolid conservative players steeped deep in the field's vast, largely empty heartland rather than the Falcs' preferred focus around the crowded edges of the sidelines, often resting on slick and fancy footwork rather than core fundamentals.
While the final score seemed close and tenuous, Trump noted he could have won by much more but the line refs and scorekeepers had rigged the contest, costing his team at least 20 points, and especially faulted the Falcons for relying on undependable non-white players, and the media for reporting pre-game events.
But Trump as usual was unsparing in his kudos as well - in post-game tweets, he noted "Tom Brady is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice." He then went on to praise himself as critical to the turnaround success of the 5-time Super Bowl winners, noting not only that at halftime all the crooked "experts" were predicting an easy Atlanta win, but that somehow liberals had managed to stage an in-your-face halftime show reminiscent of Beyonce's premature victory show in Cleveland.
Played in front of an audience almost as large as the Trump inauguration, the game validated many of the controversial pre-game statements Trump's team had proferred earlier, especially that the Falcons be "locked up" (immigration officials indeed detained the opposing team overnight, though several were mistakenly released on own recognizance due to an overeager judge overstepping his bounds).
Immediately after gametime, Team Trump had stadium rules changed to prevent opposing fans entry to next year's event, with the game location moved much nearer the Canadian border where dangerous hombres don't yet frequent. The new venue reportedly has changed its name to the US Banking System Stadium and franchised off exclusive access to Trump resorts customers and key financial institutions.
Also on display was Donald's new Missus, Giselle Bündchen, trading places for the now New York-bound former first lady named... something. Besides Bündchen meeting the President's usual quasi-illegal immigrant and breast-size standards, she also comes with much more experience in the public eye, including extensive time on the catwalk, her own line of fashion products to augment the other Trump female upscale accoutrements, and a reputation for talking smack and being difficult to work with that should fit the White House mold.
Additionally, Bündchen's Brazilian heritage gives the Administration the opportunity to take on its next global challenge, World Football, which so far has been played without helmets, padding, and traumatic brain injury. in a distinctively socialist-endearing style popular in Latin America, Africa and old Europe. Vowing to change all that, Trump and his chief coach Steve Bannon have scheduled meetings with key diplomats over the coming weeks giving them a time limit on adapting their football regimes to a more American, less terrorist-friendly format. The usual uproar has arisen from the usual places. Real updates to this story to be found on Brightbart or Facistbook.
PS - you can see the game's unbroadcast highlight here, courtesy of the one fairly unbalanced network: