The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
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    The Ice Cream Man for President? Why Not?

    By MrSmith1 on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 5:01am |

     

    Ramona wrote:  "I'm constantly amazed at the number of so-called progressives who don't have a clue about government. They're like a bunch of kids wishing the Ice Cream Man would run for president because that would be so good!"

     

    Okay, hold on, Ramona.  Let's think about this for a moment.  

    What's so wrong with the Ice Cream Man running for President? 

    You want someone who is not a Washington insider?  Who better?
    The Ice Cream Man  always works outside.

    You want someone who can handle himself in a debate? 

    Ever try to convince a 5 year old that three pennies, two paper-clips, a button and some lint are not the price of a Fudgesicle? 

    The Ice Cream Man has WON that argument.  Reducing his opponent to tears, perhaps, but never mind that.  He has enough compassion for the little guy to give him a napkin to dry his eyes ... and also give him his Fudgesicle. 

    Would Donald Trump do that?  Of course not.  The Donald would pocket the pennies, the button and the paper-clips and add the lint to his toupee.

    I suppose there are some that would argue that the Ice Cream Man was not
    "Presidential".  Well, let's compare the two, shall we?  

    The Ice Cream Man always rings bells when he's in the neighborhood.  Unlike the President who uses skulking Secret Service men and long motorcades with flashing lights and loud sirens, which block streets and mess up traffic patterns.

    The Ice Cream Man always brings delicious treats.  Unlike the President, whose treats have often been thwarted by Congress or the Supreme Court.  
     
    The Ice Cream Man always smiles and says, "Can I help you?", the President frequently scowls and looks concerned, especially when he has to veto bad legislation which may be over-ridden. 

    The Ice Cream Man delivers!
    The President makes you go to a government sponsored website.  

    Melting is a daily part of an Ice Cream Man's life. 
    The President has to deal with folks in Congress who deny Global Warming.  
    The Ice Cream Man knows it's a fact. He's seen the globe of an ice cream cone slowly drip all over a toddler's shirt ... and pants ... and shoes.

    The Ice Cream Man always comes back year after year. 
    The President can only come back once every four years and then he goes away forever. 

    So, as you can see, Ramona, supporting the Ice Cream Man for President is not as crazy an idea as you think. 

    Please be kind to the Friends of the Ice Cream Man (FICM), their slogan is; "With Good Humor to all!"

    And please donate to the Ice Cream Man's newly created Super-Pac:  America Freezes!

                                                                ****

    Comments

     


    by Resistance on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 7:16am

    I'm shocked, shocked I tell you that you would support the Ice Cream Man when everyone knows they are part of a vast right wing conspiracy to subliminally spread racism by associating a racist song with frozen sweets.

    This is perhaps the most hateful post I've ever seen at this site.

    The tune—which many now associate with "Do Your Ears Hang Low?"—has connections to a different song that was made popular years before a rhyme about your ears wobbling to and fro, NPR's Theodore R. Johnson III explains: 

    "'N----r Love A Watermelon Ha! Ha! Ha!' merits the distinction of the most racist song title in America. Released in March 1916 by Columbia Records, it was written by actor Harry C. Browne and played on the familiar depiction of black people as mindless beasts of burden greedily devouring slices of watermelon."

    The song even begins with a skit about ice cream:

    Browne: "You n----rs quit throwin' them bones and come down and get your ice cream!"
    Black men (incredulously): "Ice cream?!?"
    Browne: "Yes, ice cream! Colored man's ice cream: WATERMELON!!"

     

     


    by ocean-kat on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 7:53am

    Dear Ocean-Kat.  Your disgusting race-baiting is a vile and completely unfounded reaction to the sweet, innocent appeal of the REAL Ice Cream Man.  As most rational people can plainly see simply by reading my blog more carefully, I was not ever referring to the racist pretenders to whom you refer.   As I said, the REAL Ice Cream Man doesn't play any song when he's in your neighborhood, he RINGS BELLS ... You know, as in "Every time you hear a BELL RING, an angel gets his wings."  Jeez.  How can you throw around such disgusting accusations so freely?   Your humorless attempt at guilt by association is worthy of a Joe McCarthy.  At long last, HAVE YOU NO SHAME?

    I don't know why you leftist reactionaries always want to try to bring good people down by slinging mud at them.  Shame on you for assuming all Ice Cream Men are alike.  Your disgusting actions reinforce all the negative stereotypes people have about Liberals.  And thanks for trying to rain on the parade of one of America's Patriots.

    NO CREAMSICLE FOR YOU!
     


    by MrSmith1 on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 11:14am

    Just make  sure that this ice cream man aint on the sexual pervert list in your community and my kids aint ever handing out nickels to strangers in vans without parental supervision.

    hahahahah 


    by Richard Day on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 12:46pm

    This is exactly what is wrong with society today!  Sure, it's fine to ask an Ice Cream Man this kind of question because we want to make sure he isn't a perv, but why aren't these same questions being asked of all the Presidential candidates?  Why should a beloved Ice Cream Man's reputation be sullied with ludicrous accusations and not Rick Santorum's or Lindsay Graham's?  Stop Ice Cream Man profiling!


    by MrSmith1 on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 12:58pm

    hahahahahahahhahahahh

    Eggsactly my point. hhahahaahah


    by Richard Day on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 1:13pm

    You seem to be willing to candy coat the Ice Cream Man's strong segregationist streak.  He will never allow mixing between vanilla and chocolate, preferring to keep them walled off from each other.

    There may be a whiff of anti-Semitism involved, as well.  How else do you explain how all the heavy lifting is loaded onto an Ice Cream Cohen?


    by Lurker on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 5:53pm

    did I hear you say

    I scream koan for the kids

    you got more than one?


    by A Guy Called LULU on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 6:53pm

    Good one, LULU!!

    No, no you didn't.
    I never screamed, I shouted.
    Sorbet? Gelato!


    by MrSmith1 on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 9:57pm

    This is what used to be known as throwing a pickle into the middle of a Charlotte Russe.    Your accusations of a Segregationist past, will strike most reasonable folks as being sour gripes, given the Ice Cream Man's wife's maiden name is Spumoni and the Ice Cream Man's daring integration of vanilla and chocolate chips at a Southern lunch counter over 50 years ago.   As for anti-Semitism, the Ice Cream Man has been a longtime supporter of Kosher ice cream products. 

     


    by MrSmith1 on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 9:50pm

    Ha ha!  Just goes to show: Out of simple thoughts comes great ideas! Can we just put "The Ice Cream Man" on the ballot, or will he have to have a real name? Thank you! Perfect! (Except you left out the part about the ice cream man being a man of Good Humor. I'm guessing it's because of copyright infringement?)


    by Ramona on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 8:20am

    Well this is easy.

    I hereby render unto Mr. Smith the Dayly Blog of the Day Award for this here Dagblog Site, given to all of him from all of me.


    by Richard Day on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 11:13am

    I would vote for The Ice Cream Man since he is from the Good Humor Party.

    Also, I would consider voting for General Principle because I have a penchant for military personnel.


    by wabby on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 4:25pm

    I believe that in an Ice Cream Man administration, the Joint Chiefs of Staff would include General Principle, General Mills, General Electric and Admiral Refrigerator.


    by MrSmith1 on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 6:31pm

    Major Appliance would no doubt be in there too.


    by wabby on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 7:02pm

    Absolutely, flowerchild!  Major Appliance would definitely be there as would, the current senior member of the Joint Chiefs, General Store.


    by MrSmith1 on Sun, 09/06/2015 - 7:25pm

    Kernel Sanders?

    Kaptain Krunch?

    The Brits had a Seaman Stains, but I'm not sure if he's been removed yet...

    personally I favor Private Matters over General Mayhem or Corporal Punishment, but the General, ahem, Consensus is all hell breaks loose every 4 years.


    by PeraclesPlease on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 5:50am

    I think about now we all need General Anesthesia.


    by ocean-kat on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 11:37pm

    Touché

    by Anonymous pp (not verified) on Wed, 09/09/2015 - 12:26am

    As I'm sure you know, General Anesthesia.applied to the head is how you get numbskulls. 


    by MrSmith1 on Wed, 09/09/2015 - 1:17am

    They'll sell you Bullets  


    by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 7:29pm

    Yes, Anonymous, that is one of the Ice Cream Man's proposals to curb gun violence in America;  sell only cherry flavored, frozen bullets ... on a stick.


    by MrSmith1 on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 10:28pm

    Although anti-political-correctness (aka apc) is all the rage, I must insist upon Ice Cream Person. While men in white suits handing out treats from a truck for money are fond recollections, I submit that women are far more emotionally marketable as candidates. See: Mom.


    by barefooted on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 10:08pm

    I don't know. Missy.   That would certainly turn traditional roles on their head.   I mean, traditionally, Moms are not thought of as an Ice Cream Man.  Why?  Because Moms are who you go to to get money for the Ice Cream Man.  How could anyone go to their Mom for money for ... Mom?  Or go to the Ice Cream Man for money to give to Mom?  (Sigh)  It's very confusing, but I suppose you're right.  This political correctness is going to take some getting used to.

     


    by MrSmith1 on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 10:27pm

    If we really want to get money out of politics, then we have think out of the "traditional" box. Who gives you ice cream for being responsible and getting your chores done? Who accepts nothing more than a promise to do better as a person? Who always knows your absolute favorite variety and knows how to use it? Who can make your enemies drool on a hot summer day? Good governance is all about knowing how the chocolate swirl works in a strictly vanilla negotiation. With a cookie.


    by barefooted on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 10:44pm


    Hmmm ... You make a tasty point.  When America's infrastructure is crumbling, who knows more about crumbling than a cookie?


    by MrSmith1 on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 10:54pm

    Or those who create them?


    by barefooted on Tue, 09/08/2015 - 11:34pm

    Exactly.   And I won't even mention the Ice Cream Man's Person's familiarity with frozen assets and the history of the Cold War.


    by MrSmith1 on Wed, 09/09/2015 - 1:15am

    Tokenism, just tokenism.  The only cookies that would consent to this charade are no better than Oreos:  black on the outside, but white within.

    To top up the charge of anti-Semitism:  why is it only cookies that are crumbled into the ice cream, never matzohs?  When has the ungendered Ice Cream Person ever offered a flavour like Gefilte Fish with Horseradish?


    by Lurker on Wed, 09/09/2015 - 7:58am

    I'm pretty sure that iCecream is violating Apple trademarks. Cease and desist.

    Meanwhile, as for fond recollections of men in white suits, I think back to Cuckoo's Nest and the Awakenings and The Man WHo Thought His Wife Was a Hat as prime examples of those goneby days, though the Camille Claudel scenes captured earlier experience.

    As for "marketing emotional women", candidates or not, it's probably frowned upon & considered somehow trading on a particular sex goes against UN proclamations.


    by PeraclesPlease on Wed, 09/09/2015 - 11:42am

    Ah, but an "emotionally marketable" candidate can be very effective during trade negotiations ... sprinkles are powerful incentives.


    by barefooted on Wed, 09/09/2015 - 1:00pm