This is another piece about mental illness. I have gotten a mixed reception from all of you here. This makes alot of people very uncomfortable. The last thread about mental illness did really well and I really learned from all of your stories - however - I know from experience posting here that the subjects I pick aren't what some want. I've been encouraged to post here and wouldn't do so if I thought I was imposing.

 If this makes you uncomfortable, please just skip over. The subject is complex and needs to be discussed out of necessity for what it is.

After the massacre in Connecticut occurred, an article was released called "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother:"

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.

The article angered some friends of mine - who said the mother was exploiting her child by comparing him to a mass murderer of children. The child in question was really violent, according to the article, enough so that it frightened her mother in to thinking he might one day murder her.

I got sent the article by a friend with the attachment "I know this isn't what you want to hear right now but you should read this." My family is filled with violence and I'm no exception. I have never actually hurt anyone but I sure as hell have threatened it. It's usually been brought by anxiety, frustration and miscommunication - when you don't know what to say or feel cornered, actions often take over. My name is also Michael and I have been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder.

Someone in the SSRI support group said, in hushed conversation, that "any" of us could be one of these mass shooters. I found that a strange statement since, even at our worst most of us would not be capable of exploding the way some of these people have (James Holmes killed a dozen people but literally shot at 70 people. 70 people.).

It was easy to try to blame things on the antidepressant medications I took but I recently suffered an episode where I sounded alot like Michael. My sister had come in to town from Texas and wanted to see me. It got bad right off the bat.

My sister had immediately launched in with "God, you look depressed. I don't want to be around you like this." I responded that I had tried to look my best. My life was extremely chaotic. "You're going to die if you go around depressed like that," she followed up. Perhaps normal people don't get angry at comments like that - I had been through hell and managed to get an apartment, start a support group with 100 members and join a church. Apparently none of that mattered.

As we past by a local elementary school, my sister launched in to not being able to go the school she wanted because she "wasn't black" and was "too white."

"This is bullshit. I don't want to be around you or this family," I said. I was really pissed off and a general anger towards my family as a whole was centering in on my sister. "You need to pull over the car."

"Are you crazy? You're going to jump out?"

"No, just pull over the damn car. Leave me the f***alone!" The blood pressure was up and I could see a man across the street staring at us. This same thing had happened over and over and over over the years and it was hard to see which part was my fault and which was theirs. After running it by another family member, they told me that hostility may come out because they are afraid for me. I had certainly acted really crazy when my life had turned to total chaos.

As humans, we are obviously not angels and the stress of life can easily turn us in to things we aren't. Times this stressful can certainly make the demonic side come out easier than in more sane times. Guns have been talked about alot on this website and I have contributed the factor of drugs. There is obviously much more - it was actually the first time I had seen my sister in years. There was an obvious disconnect and perhaps that was my fault. A social disconnect on a massive scale might have to do with all these mass shootings.

I apologized to my sister. Even if she had been offensive, I had no right to let a monster out like that. None of us do.