Donald meets Hillary in a quiet rendezvous. "Ok, you got 5 minutes to close the deal", says Hill. "What gives?"
"Let's stop pretending otherwise and wasting time when there's so much at stake," replies Le Donald, "you know we belong together". "Fat chance, broomhead - and don't go quoting me on that, basta with your Trump tweets or I'll put my Texts4Hillary boys on you.' "Those pantywaists? Why do you spend all this time with gays and metrosexuals?" "Cause they're my base, Don - unlike you I can't just count on the lunatic fringe to sustain me."