Okay we have these unemployed peeps all over the goddamn place.

And the politicians continually scream that what is lacking is education.

If we only had a better educational system, everybody would be happy and employed and reading and learning and sexually satisfied.

So I thought, maybe what would be even better would be to find out how to get hired in the first place. I mean supposedly we live in a meritocracy anyway and if the unemployed could only have the opportunity to be merited everything would be hunky dory.

In other words, it is not just a general education that the unemployed need in this country but rather, a specific education in how to get hired!

So why not find out how some of our employed became employed at some very fine positions.

WHAT A COUNTRY!!!

So I did some research about recently hired people and discovered some really interesting things.

1. Taking a page from LaPage!

AUGUSTA, Maine — Gov.-elect Paul LePage has appointed his daughter, Lauren, to a staff position within the upper echelon of his administration, members of the LePage transition team said Wednesday.

Lauren LePage, 22, will serve as assistant to the governor’s chief of staff, John McGough — a position that administration officials describe as entry-level and is commensurate with her experience, work history and education.

LePage, a recent college graduate, will be a salaried political appointee earning approximately $41,000 a year, according to Dan Demeritt, incoming director of communications in the LePage administration.

“Lauren LePage has been an extremely valuable member of the campaign and the transition,” Demeritt told the Bangor Daily News in an e-mail. “She worked more than full-time as the assistant to the policy director during our successful gubernatorial campaign and she is managing policy and constituent concerns during the transition.”

Lesson learned:  Get the right parents for chrissakes. I mean Miss LePage got a running start her. Daddy paid her way through college so she has no worries about student loans and stuff like that. And $41,000 is chump change, sort of for LePages but she has no worries about health care and if things keep going her way she can have a full governmental pension before she is forty.

Of course, people at certain levels in our meritocracy intermarry so, better yet sweet sweet Lauren can probably get wedded to someone at a higher level in the meritocracy and skip the eighteen year hike. Better yet Lauren, marry a lobbyist!

2. Procuring the RIGHT education.

Another tack to take in our search for a nice level in the meritocracy is to take a different approach to our educational needs. First, if your SAT’s aint quite up to par go to JC University and after you float your way through that intellectual sewer get accepted to a pretend law school; say one established by Pat Robertson where you can learn about speaking tongues at the Constitutional Convention and why the Dredd Scott Decision was really not that bad an interpretation of our Constitution.

And you can learn about how the Communist Judges of the 30’s and 40’s and 50’s and 60’s and 70’s misread our Constitution and gave rights wrongly to miscreants and felons and socialists and pedophiles and such.

That way you can be appointed by fascists after they are elected to our highest offices. Ultimately you can show yourself to be the second dumbest attorney to ever testify before a Congressional Committee. Why you can even brag about all those oaths you took to protect the President of the United States when you were first hired and how you made sure that right thinking Christian folks would continue to be hired over heathens and miscreants and socialists and pedophiles and such. Kind of like starting your own traditions!!!

And then when the party of Truth, Justice & the American Way is elected to replace the fascists, you can get yourself appointed to an even higher level of government!!

WHAT A COUNTRY!!!

Robin C. Ashton, the woman Attorney General Eric Holder just named to head of the Justice Department's internal ethics office, was reportedly herself a victim of improper politicization during the Bush administration at the hands of Regent University graduate Monica Goodling.

"As a veteran career prosecutor, Robin is uniquely qualified to serve as Counsel for Professional Responsibility, and I am confident she will lead the office with the highest standards of professionalism, integrity and dedication," Holder said in a statement.

Ashton, as the Washington Post reported, was denied a promotion at the Executive Office for U.S. Attorneys, where she worked from 2001 to 2005. Sources said she was told that she lost the promotion because of Goodling, who was eventually found to have improperly politicized hiring and promotion decisions.

"You have a Monica problem," Ashton was told, several DOJ officials told the New York Times back in 2007. "She believes you're a Democrat and doesn't feel you can be trusted." Goodling didn't directly address whether Ashton was denied a promotion during her congressional testimony in 2007 but said there was tension between the two.

Goodling, you may recall, arrived at DOJ at the start of the Bush administration after working as an opposition researcher for the Republican National Committee. She graduated from Regent University School of Law, the school founded by Pat Robertson, and believed that part of her job was to bring people with conservative and Christian values to the Justice Department, former colleagues said. She admitted to "crossing the line" and running afoul of civil service rules governing hiring decisions.

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/12/reputed_victim_of_bush-era_doj_politicization_to_head_dojs_internal_watchdog.php?ref=fpb

3. Somehow, someway, get a position with some real fine goose stepping organization.

That’s right!! Work for the NAZI’s for a few years. You know, the guys whose one purpose in life is to imprison the minorities in this country so that they are off the streets and not singing those goddamn rap songs and such.

You can learn about how democracy really works by putting these miscreants and pedophiles and murderers and drug dealers to work for $8.00/hour while you pay the prisoner ten cents an hour.

And you can learn how to charge the government 5 bucks a meal to feed these low lifes while you find outlets where you can purchase green bologna and grits for almost nothing.

Cost cutting measures and maximum production measures will help you understand how a democracy works!!

The Senate this week confirmed President Barack Obama's nominee, Stacia A. Hylton, to head the U.S. Marshals Service. Hylton has come under fire from human rights groups who are concerned about her ties to a private prison company.

Critics said that Hylton, was too cozy with private prison companies that work with the U.S. Marshals Service in part because she worked as a consultant for the GEO Group, the second largest private prison company in the U.S. But Hylton defended her work during her hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee, stating that she followed all ethics requirements and regulations before she left federal service in early 2010.

"I welcome last night's confirmation by the Senate of Stacia A. Hylton as the 10th director of the U.S. Marshals Service," current Director John Clark said in a statement this week. He added, "As I retire from federal service on Jan. 1, 2011, I am confident that under Stacia's leadership the U.S. Marshals Service will continue to carry out its varied missions - from apprehending fugitives, housing and transporting prisoners, protecting witnesses and federal judges and managing and selling seized assets - with professionalism and excellence."

Clark had announced his resignation earlier this month in a letter obtained by TPM, stating that he had accepted a position in the private sector and would step down on Jan. 1 unless his replacement was confirmed before that point.

"I am pleased that Stacia Hylton will return to the U.S. Marshals Service to build upon 29 years of distinguished service at the department," Attorney General Eric Holder said.

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/12/senate_confirms_us_marshals_director_with_private.php

WHAT A COUNTRY!!!