CANTON, Ohio – In a surprise move by the Federal Government, every single player in the NFL has been arrested today. Charges range from possession of illegal performance enhancing drugs, sexual harassment, domestic abuse, perjury, driving while intoxicated, and an undeserved sense of self-worth.

Aside from the players, every owner was also arrested, for everything from collusion to tax fraud to using the NFL season as a bargaining chip. [Read more]

After days of mounting sexual harasment revelations, Eric Massa has gone old school. As in 12th-century old school. First he was denying that he had any ethics problems, then he was admitting minor ethics problems, then he was resigning over those totally minor ethics problems, then he went on the attack. Those totally-no-big-deal ethics questions he was quitting Congress over? They were trumped up by the House Democratic leadership! So really, this was a dirty trick over health care! Yeah, that's the ticket. [Read more]

Liberal blogs are abuzz today about Sarah Palin’s admission that her family crossed the border from Skagway, Alaska to Whitehorse in Canada to receive health care for her brother: [Read more]

While murder is still considered a grave crime, today’s enlightened society tends to see it as something more than a black & white issue. Because more often than not, a murder victim has every opportunity to avoid being murdered.

Simply put, if you get murdered, it’s very likely your own damned fault. This is obvious to any who care to look at the issue. [Read more]

Last month, I got to speak with director Louie Psihoyos about his Oscar-nominated documentary “The Cove.” When asked about the possibility of winning an Academy Award, here’s what Psihoyos had to say:

“A billion people will see the Academy Awards,” said Psihoyos in a telephone interview. “That’s why I’d like to win. Because for 45 seconds you can talk directly to all the key people who are involved in these policies.”

Unfortunately, Producer Fisher Stevens – missing the point and a huge opportunity – gave the acceptance speech and never actually said the word “Dolphin.” [Read more]

There is a report in the Jakarta Post this morning announcing that the city will begin construction on a sewage system next year. The first phase of the project will take almost 10 years and only serve about 10 percent of the city, but it's a start. In 20 years, a projected expansion plan will reach a quarter of the population. [Read more]

If you can say one thing about the GOP, it’s that they stick to the script when it comes to talking points. The latest GOP talking point – that Americans are lazy and like being unemployed – could very well be a winner for the Republicans come election time.

Ex-Speaker of the House Tom Delay was the latest conservative to make the claim, as he told CNN’s Candy Crowley that unemployment insurance was the root of all evil:

Crowley: People are unemployed because they want to be? [Read more]

WASHINGTON – Faced with waves of Republican pressure over the handling of the Khalid Sheik Mohammed trial, U.S. President Barack Obama has announced that he will personally shoot the terrorist mastermind in the head.

“Khalid Sheik Mohammed is evil incarnate, and he must be dealt with in a way that will protect our citizens,”said Obama. “Therefore, I will bi-partisanly blow his brains out myself.”

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said the President thought long and hard about his decision. [Read more]

After their slam dunk with anti-tax kamikaze Andrew Joseph Stack, liberals hoped to rack up more political points with another right-wing act of terror. When the news broke of a gunman loose in Washington, breathless liberal bloggers and political email spammers burst into action.

According to blog enthusiast cheneyMUSTdie, who subscribes to over 1500 blogs and frequently posts the same comment on each of them: "OMG TEH WINGNUTS ARE KILLING AGAIN!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!"

The first sign that liberal hopes would go unfulfilled was the target of the attack. The gunman had attempted a frontal assault on the Pentagon, an atypical choice among right-wing terrorists.

According to Dr. Hannibal Venkman, Professor of Psycho-Politics at Georgetown University, [Read more]