SarahPalinGrrrrl's picture

    LIVE DEBATE BLOGGING!!!!! GOOOOOO SARAH!!!!

    OMG!!!! RU excited for sarah palin's debate? I SOOOO AM!!!! GOOOOO SARAH!!! she's going to kick that biden dude's WRINKLY OLD ASS!!! LOL!!! he totally looks like draco malfoy's evil dad in harry potter.

    SarahPalinGrrrrl's picture

    I LOVE YOU, SARAH PALIN!

    sarah palin is a total INSPIRATION to me!! i am SOOOOOOOO EXCITED that she could be our next vice president, maybe even our PRESIDENT! Surprised for someone with her talent to be a vice president proves that anyone can make it in america. YAY SARAH!!!!!!!!! you go, GIRL!!!!!!

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Premature Mid-life Crisis

    I wrote this piece some years ago, before I was 30. I'm now probably in what could be called an on-schedule midlife crisis, but this article still seems relevant. I've updated it slightly to make it current with the times...

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    BREAKING: McCain denies deal with the Devil

    The blogosphere is abuzz with rumors about a secret deal between John McCain and Satan. A contributor to popular political blog, TPM Cafe, first broke the story last week in a post entitled, Lady MacDeath - A Faustian Bargain of Sinister Deception. According to blogger TheraP, who does not quote any sources, Satan promised John McCain the Presidency in 2008 in return for sacrificing his soul and selecting Sarah Palin to be his running mate.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    I Say, Let 'Em Crash

    Oh things are going well my friends. This stock market crash could not have come at a better time. Just look at John McCain squirm. All we need are a few more major bankruptcies, and we'll have the election locked up. As a special bonus, the greedy bankers are getting screwed too.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    (What a) Wonderful Veep...

    with apologies to Sam Cooke

    She don't know much about history
    She don't believe in biology
    She wants to change the science books
    She wants to fire the White House cooks
    But she does know how to speak on cue
    And she knows if she makes fools of you
    What a wonderful veep she would be

    She don't know much about geography
    She don't know much foreign policy
    Don't know much about George Bush's war
    Don't know what a VP is for
    But she knows that one and one is two
    And if McCain just tells her what to do

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Save the Ha Ha

    I stood by him when he defended his racist minister and threw his dear grandmother under the you-know-what. I dismissed his terrorist connections and shady real estate deals. I defended his FISA cave and his faith-based whatevers. I even excused his bowling. But I have just learned that Barack Obama is anti-humor, and as I am a lifelong member of humoritarian wing of the Democratic party, I have no alternative but to offer my vote to someone else this November.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    How the G.O.P. Got Its Groove Back

    After a string of embarrassing election losses, Republicans have had enough. In a major address to the American people, Representative Jeb Hensarling of Texas, chairman of the underrated Republican Study Committee, has declared that Republicans leaders are feeling sober.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Clinton's Real Electability Powerpoint

    This is rather alarming. Apparently, the "electability" powerpoint that Clinton sent out to House Dems was a decoy. Select uncommitted superdelegates obtained a very different pointpoint. I've managed to obtain a leaked copy and posted it here. Please check it out, and forward it to your friends.

     

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Is Hillary Behind My Brain Dysfunction?

    Have you been feeling "fuzzy" lately? Blinded by passion? Addled by rage? Do you find yourself ranting about MSM unfairness and the well-known bias of certain TPM staffers? (I won't name any names but it rhymes with "Breg Bargent".) Do you hurl potted plants at your television or periodically spit on your monitor? Do you pound the "recommend" button manically when you see an anti-Hillary post, even though it only works the first time? Have your purchased five or more computers so that you can vent your anger through multiple recommendations?

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    How To Be Tough: A Primer

    1) Say "I'm tough". Say it a lot. Also, use the word "fight" in every other sentence.

    2) Promise not to quit. Ever. Consequences be damned.

    3) Compare yourself to tough historical figures. Like Rocky.

    4) Do not apologize. Tough people don't apologize. Rocky doesn't apologize.

    5) Tell anecdotes of about yourself in tough situations. E.g. "We landed under sniper fire and had to run to our vehicles."

    6) Play tough music. Examples:
    - Eye Of the Tiger (Survivor)
    - I Won't Back Down (Tom Petty)

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Another Obama Terrorist Relationship

    The day before the Pennsylvania primary, Barack Obama's campaign has been rocked by news of another troublesome relationship. There have been reports that Obama is separated by only six degrees from mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden. According to the reports, Obama's kindergarten teacher's family friend's cousin's doorman's grandmother was the kindergarten teacher of mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Blue-Collar Boot Camp

    Perhaps you've heard of Barack Obama's shocking condescension to the good working people of small town Pennsylvania and Hillary Clinton's courageous defense of their blissful collective mental health. We Democrats, it seems, have a problem connecting with the happy little working people, which is a bit of a shame because their votes would really come in helpful this November. They used to be our little people, you know, before Reagan stole them away from us with his family values sham. I think it's time to get them back.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Dance Dance Nomination, The Finale

    This is a three part series. I recommend that you first read Part I and Part II, or you will be confused and slightly disoriented. You may experience sensations of nausea.

    -----------------------

    Live dance-off blogging. Remember, the outcome of the dance competition will determine the Democratic nominee. There are three competitions: ballroom, breakdance, and free-style.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Dance Dance Nomination, Part II

    This is a three part series. I recommend that you first read Part I, or you will be confused and slightly disoriented. You may experience sensations of nausea.

    -----------------------

    I'm now in the rehearsal studio with the Clintons. I'm impressed with their tango. Hillary in particular seems poised and disciplined. They've been drilling the same step for half an hour. Bill seems like he's fading a bit, and they've agreed to take a break to answer a few questions:

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Dance Dance Nomination, Part I

    Back in the warm, fuzzy days of January in South Carolina, Barack Obama was asked whether Bill Clinton deserved to be called the first black president. He replied "I would have to, you know, investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities...before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother," to which Hillary Clinton replied, "I'm sure that can be arranged."

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Math Shmath

    All the Obama people can talk about after their savior got his butt kicked is math, math, math, math, math, math, math. Whatever. I respect math. Without math, there'd be no particle physics, sports stats, or sudoku, and it would be hard to figure out if you'd received the correct change. But let's not overdo it. First, math isn't tangible, so we can't know for sure if it even exists. Second, it's confusing, and anything confusing is probably a government conspiracy.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    What really happened in Canada...

    Many of you may have read the story about how Ian Brodie, chief of staff to the Canadian Prime Minister said that a Clinton representative had downplayed Hillary's Nafta comments to the Canadian embassy: "He said someone from (Hillary) Clinton's campaign is telling the embassy to take it with a grain of salt. . . That someone called us and told us not to worry."

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Another doctored Obama photo?

    The latest ad from the Clinton campaign includes yet another photo that some liberal bloggers suspect as having been doctored. Clinton campaign spokesman Jay Carson said, "this is a bogus assertion.
    Ads look different based on software, screens, computers, television,
    etc."

    I'm no photoshop expert, but I think that this one is pretty clear. Judge for yourself:

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Mike Gravel should drop out after Tuesday

    I have no problem with Mike Gravel. He's run a fine race, and his innovative ad campaign will be studied by strategists for years to come. The one with the rock broke ground never before broken by any candidate and likely never to be broken again, unless he runs in 2012. The mental image of his determined stare still gives me goosebumps. I also appreciate his important contributions to the Democratic debates, though I don't really remember them. But if I remembered them, I'm sure that I would appreciate them. It's not my fault that I wasn't paying attention.

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