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Woody Harrelson Invokes Zombie Defense

After breaking the camera of an aggressive paparazzo who was photographing him with his daughter, Woody Harrelson explained that he mistook the photographer for a zombie:

"I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character. With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie."

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BREAKING: First Dog

Under relentless media pressure after weeks of foot-dragging, the Obama Administration finally selected a nominee for a top government post: First Dog.

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Bankers Want Out of Bailout Conditions

Banks are chafing under Federal bailout terms, according to today's New York Times. Fearing that they will be forced to sell off toxic assets and curtail executive compensation, some banks are trying to return bailout money. But there's a catch. In order to receive the bailout loans, the banks had to grant the Federal Government stock warrants. The warrants give the Federal Government the option to buy stock in the company at a specified price.

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Obama Must Stop Bowing!

You've no doubt seen the video in which Obama bowed meekly before King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia:

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Earth Hour is the New Black

Happy Earth Hour, everyone! In a gesture of appreciation for our beautiful planet, which if all goes according to plan will slowly simmer to death sometime this century, dagblog is joining the stampede of environmentally concerned municipalities and other organizations turning the lights off major landmarks for one hour this evening.

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Don't Raise the Barricades

A recent World Bank study indicates a disturbing rise in trade protectionism around the world in response to the economic crisis. Here are a few examples:

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At What Cost Justice?

No, I am not referring to bankers. I'm speaking of the International Criminal Court's indictment of Sudanese President Omar Hassan al-Bashir on war crimes charges. Bashir is a force of evil in the world. His leadership has directly contributed to the suffering, murder, and genocide of millions. He deserves the most severe penalties we can in good conscience apply.

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Congress Shows Backbone on AIG Bonuses

Congratulations to the august members of the House of Representatives. You just saved America $148.5M. Of course, after countless hours of wrangling with the Senate, that will surely be reduced by half. And then, there will be the lawsuits challenging the bill-of-attainder tax on a particular company--a really, really, really bad company which deserves to be disemboweled and which we would definitely do if that pesky economic depression weren't in the way.

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China: Tiger on a Leash

As the U.S. sinks deeper into recession and China gorges itself on ever greater quantities of American debt, you will start to hear about the "Chinese model" and the end of American hegemony. Yet China remains tethered by a stiff leash which will ultimately choke the charging tiger once it runs out slack: its government.

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Loose

There are moments in life, in some lives, in my life, when one becomes unmoored. Something or someone cuts the bond between anchor and ship, and the sailor is cast adrift. Perhaps a violent squall snaps the tether; perhaps a villain slashes it in the night; perhaps you sever it yourself in a drunken flourish of enthusiasm or at a tranquil moment of lucidity; perhaps you simply wake up one morning and find that you've drifted out to sea.

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http://michaelwolraich.com
Biography

Michael Wolraich is a non-fiction writer in New York City. He co-founded dagblog and has contributed  to the Atlantic, the Daily Beast, New York Magazine, CNN.com, TalkingPointsMemo.com, Reuters, and Pando Daily.

Books:

Wolraich is also the computer genius who maintains dagblog's state-of-the-art software, but he denies responsibility for technical glitches and advises users to "quit sniveling." In his spare time, Wolraich raises peach mold and performs live impressions of the law of gravity.

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