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Michael Wolraich's picture

Clinton's Real Electability Powerpoint

This is rather alarming. Apparently, the "electability" powerpoint that Clinton sent out to House Dems was a decoy. Select uncommitted superdelegates obtained a very different pointpoint. I've managed to obtain a leaked copy and posted it here. Please check it out, and forward it to your friends.

 

Michael Wolraich's picture

The End Has Begun

A couple of days ago, I argued that after Tuesday, the race would essentially be over because there would no longer be a way for Clinton to win the popular vote, her only remaining plausible argument for superdelegates to vote for her.

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Michael Wolraich's picture

The Beginning of the End (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Math)

I've declared repeatedly since the PA primary that this race is over soon after May 6th. Despite the high anxiety of Obama supporters and all the talk of Clinton momentum, I stand by this projection. My reason for saying so is very simple. There will not be enough remaining votes after May 6th to make a difference. Not to the delegate count. Not to the popular vote. After May 6th, you won't need any fancy delegate calculators to see that. It will be obvious to all.

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Michael Wolraich's picture

Is Hillary Behind My Brain Dysfunction?

Have you been feeling "fuzzy" lately? Blinded by passion? Addled by rage? Do you find yourself ranting about MSM unfairness and the well-known bias of certain TPM staffers? (I won't name any names but it rhymes with "Breg Bargent".) Do you hurl potted plants at your television or periodically spit on your monitor? Do you pound the "recommend" button manically when you see an anti-Hillary post, even though it only works the first time? Have your purchased five or more computers so that you can vent your anger through multiple recommendations?

Michael Wolraich's picture

How To Be Tough: A Primer

1) Say "I'm tough". Say it a lot. Also, use the word "fight" in every other sentence.

2) Promise not to quit. Ever. Consequences be damned.

3) Compare yourself to tough historical figures. Like Rocky.

4) Do not apologize. Tough people don't apologize. Rocky doesn't apologize.

5) Tell anecdotes of about yourself in tough situations. E.g. "We landed under sniper fire and had to run to our vehicles."

6) Play tough music. Examples:
- Eye Of the Tiger (Survivor)
- I Won't Back Down (Tom Petty)

Michael Wolraich's picture

Another Obama Terrorist Relationship

The day before the Pennsylvania primary, Barack Obama's campaign has been rocked by news of another troublesome relationship. There have been reports that Obama is separated by only six degrees from mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden. According to the reports, Obama's kindergarten teacher's family friend's cousin's doorman's grandmother was the kindergarten teacher of mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

Michael Wolraich's picture

Blue-Collar Boot Camp

Perhaps you've heard of Barack Obama's shocking condescension to the good working people of small town Pennsylvania and Hillary Clinton's courageous defense of their blissful collective mental health. We Democrats, it seems, have a problem connecting with the happy little working people, which is a bit of a shame because their votes would really come in helpful this November. They used to be our little people, you know, before Reagan stole them away from us with his family values sham. I think it's time to get them back.

Michael Wolraich's picture

Dance Dance Nomination, The Finale

This is a three part series. I recommend that you first read Part I and Part II, or you will be confused and slightly disoriented. You may experience sensations of nausea.

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Live dance-off blogging. Remember, the outcome of the dance competition will determine the Democratic nominee. There are three competitions: ballroom, breakdance, and free-style.

Michael Wolraich's picture

Dance Dance Nomination, Part II

This is a three part series. I recommend that you first read Part I, or you will be confused and slightly disoriented. You may experience sensations of nausea.

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I'm now in the rehearsal studio with the Clintons. I'm impressed with their tango. Hillary in particular seems poised and disciplined. They've been drilling the same step for half an hour. Bill seems like he's fading a bit, and they've agreed to take a break to answer a few questions:

Michael Wolraich's picture

Dance Dance Nomination, Part I

Back in the warm, fuzzy days of January in South Carolina, Barack Obama was asked whether Bill Clinton deserved to be called the first black president. He replied "I would have to, you know, investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities...before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother," to which Hillary Clinton replied, "I'm sure that can be arranged."

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Biography

Michael Wolraich is a non-fiction writer in New York City. He co-founded dagblog and has contributed  to the Atlantic, the Daily Beast, New York Magazine, CNN.com, TalkingPointsMemo.com, Reuters, and Pando Daily.

Books:

Wolraich is also the computer genius who maintains dagblog's state-of-the-art software, but he denies responsibility for technical glitches and advises users to "quit sniveling." In his spare time, Wolraich raises peach mold and performs live impressions of the law of gravity.

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