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100% of Mitt Romneys think U.S. citizens are jerks

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A new Gallup poll today showing that a large percentage of Mitt Romneys think U.S. citizens are “jerks.”

The poll – which took the opinions of one Mitt Romney over a 10-state area – showed some negative trends for the U.S. public. By wide margins, American citizens were thought to be “stupid,” and “Jerks,” and that they “should not be involved in the governing process.

 

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Donate to me or I won’t Tweet & Blog Obama to victory

My friends, the 2012 U.S. elections are the most important of our lives. Which is why you should give me money.

Yes, my friends, it is that time again – the time for you to decide how much you love your country by giving money to a U.S. blogger residing in Brazil. As has been proven time and again, my words reverberate around the globe and give President Barack Obama a distinct edge in his race against humanoid life form Mitt Romney. For instance, when I tweeted this:

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House GOP passes bill requesting Al Qaeda attack U.S. in late-October

WASHINGTON – In its last action before recess, GOP representatives passed a bill through the House that would require President Barack Obama to send a personal letter to Al Qaeda leaders, requesting a large terrorist attack on a blue state of the U.S. in late-October. The bill passed across party lines.

“We feel that a large-scale terrorist attack on the U.S. and its citizens is just what America needs right now,” said Speaker of the House John Boehner. “Just one devastating attack would be the end of this President, meaning lower taxes and more jobs would be on the way.”

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Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin demand people be allowed to yell “Fire!” in crowded theaters

DES MOINES – Appearing together on stage for the first time, Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney and former Vice-Presidential nominee Sarah Palin had harsh words for the administration of President Barack Obama.

“By even mentioning that he did not like an anti-Muslim video, Obama has put all Americans in grave danger,” said Romney, smirking. “And when I say Americans, I’m not including troops overseas, because I’m only talking about important things in this speech.”

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Breaking: Obama donates $1 million to Mitt Romney campaign

WASHINGTON – The re-election campaign for President Barack Obama has made a $1 million donation to the Mitt Romney campaign. The donation comes on the heels of Romney’s recent foray into foreign affairs, accusing Obama of sympathizing with Islamic extremists, despite the fact that it never happened.

Sources close to the Obama campaign said they wanted to make the donation to give Romney more chances to appear on television so voters could see more of him.

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Sept. 11: There is no comparison

Today is the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the United States. It is a day for remembrance of those who lost their lives and loved ones.  And it’s a day to remember those who have used 9/11 to advance their own political agendas:

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Vote for me for the office I deserve to win

It has been several months since I, William K. Wolfrum, formally declared my intention to run for the office that I deserve to win. Since then, I have had multiple donors who have helped me spread my message across this great land.

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Fact-Checking William K. Wolfrum: The Fact-Checkening

Over the years, William K. Wolfrum has made numerous outlandish claims in blogs, on Twitter, in real life and occasionally while sleeping. Such claims demand non-partisan fact-checking to give the public the truth of the matter. That is why I, William K. Wolfrum, have taken it upon myself to fact-check some of these claims.

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God signs new 4-year deal with Democrats: “I can finally get my Mom a new house”

HEAVEN – God, the controversial creator of everything everywhere, has signed a new deal with the Democratic Party that will keep him in their fold for the next four years.

“This is just a thrill,” said God, 42. “There so much uncertainty in this game, but now I feel as though I’ve finally made it.”

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Personal Information

Website
http://www.williamkwolfrum.com
Biography
William K. Wolfrum is an American journalist and writer residing in Brazil. Wolfrum's experience's consist of being a bartender, bouncer, carny, amateur boxer and commercial fisherman, which he talks about all the time, thinking it makes him some sort of tough guy. Wolfrum has been published or mentioned in the New York Times, Boston Globe, Toronto Star, and a bunch of other newspapers and magazines. Wolfrum is a two-time Alaska Press Club Award winner who hopes to someday win other awards so he doesn't have to talk about those two anymore.

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