dagblog - Comments for "Writer's Block Sucks"

That's so beautifully put and

Orlando — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 14:19:07 +0000

That's so beautifully put and so echoes my experience. It's really nice to know that, as alone as I sometimes felt over the past 15 years, the overall experience is somewhat shared by others going through it.

Thank you all, virtual

acanuck — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 07:00:09 +0000

In reply to Very good to see you, acanuck

Thank you all, virtual friends. "Transience" was the word I used, and it's one quinn picked up on above. Orlando spoke of "clarity." I get what she means, but it's an odd kind of clarity that leaves you puzzled about what exactly you've learned or are in the process of learning.

It may be true of any long-term fatal illness -- but certainly true of Alzheimer's -- that the survivors' "grief" gets paid out on the instalment plan. So at the end, there's only a small, manageable payment to make. "The Long Goodbye" is the cruel but accurate description. I've felt the grief of the sudden, unexpected loss of a loved one, and that's not what's in play here.

It's like trying to focus on two things at different distances: the gradual loss of a person over many years (shared memories, etc.) and their final, permanent physical absence. It feels like there's some kernel of wisdom, some deeper understanding of life and death, that is lying there in plain sight, but I'm failing to grasp it.

And I know I'm doing it right: neither resisting the knowledge nor trying to force it. Maybe more time is the missing ingredient. So I'll wait. But my mother lovingly raised five children on her own after being widowed at 33. The least I can do is extract the maximum value from her life and death.

Very good to see you, acanuck

quinn esq — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:18:59 +0000

In reply to Hi, O: I hadn't connected

Very good to see you, acanuck - and sorry for your loss. I lost my brother in March, and it has only been this past week that I feel as though my mind, and my organism, is working at all properly. It's just hard to explain, but the transience of it all really struck home. Hard to take a lot of the world's nonsense seriously, eh?

Fortunately, some things are eternal. Go Leafs! Habs Suck!

Acanuck, I wanted to respond

Orlando — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 16:59:21 +0000

In reply to Hi, O: I hadn't connected

Acanuck, I wanted to respond in a little more detail to your comment. Time prevented me yesterday, so I'm sorry for the terse "I'm sorry."

Your comment really resonates with me. The thoughts and emotions that you'd like to share, but can't put into words--that's exactly what I've been feeling since June. My mom's death has profoundly changed me, and I don't yet understand exactly how. There's a little bit of the trite "I need to live life to the fullest" and a little bit of "Wow, I actually came out the other side of this." And also, the grief hits me in strange and unexpected ways at strange and unexpected times. But mostly there's a strange sort of clarity about how nothing is permanent and everything is in constant motion.

I can't believe you spoke at all at your mom's funeral. For two or three weeks after my mom died, I was in this bizarre fog. At my mom's memorial, I sort of wandered around numbly, waiting for somebody to put another glass of wine in my hand. I'm pretty sure people talked to me, but I don't have much recollection of it.

Anyway, I'm so sorry for your loss and I understand it. It doesn't matter how old she was or how long she was sick. There's still a cold finality and a big empty space when it's over. May you find your peace.

Ac, I'm very sorry to hear

Michael Wolraich — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:45:14 +0000

In reply to Hi, O: I hadn't connected

Ac, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. I had also wondered where you'd disappeared to, and I'm also glad that to have you back. With only one Canadian curmudgeon hanging around, the site seems somehow unbalanced.

I'm so sorry about your mom,

Orlando — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:25:23 +0000

In reply to Hi, O: I hadn't connected

I'm so sorry about your mom, acanuck. I did wonder where you were and I'm glad you are back.

And I can't believe you

acanuck — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:23:57 +0000

In reply to Hi, O: I hadn't connected

And I can't believe you really think puppies and bunnies suck. I mean, look at them.

Hi, O: I hadn't connected

acanuck — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:20:40 +0000

In reply to I'm waiting. But mostly cuz

Hi, O: I hadn't connected your reduced profile here with the loss of your mother; I figured it was just natural ebb and flow. But it makes perfect sense, and I can assure you it's not a unique reaction.

My own mother died Sept. 29. Same damn disease. As her condition deteriorated over that last month, and the prognosis became undeniable, I basically stopped posting and commenting (causing great concern in the dagblog board room, I'm sure). There were thoughts and emotions I wanted to share, but they wouldn't translate into words. Just like I couldn't deliver the eulogy I wrote the day before the funeral; thankfully, my sister did a great job with hers, and the priest had a Bible passage he let me read instead.

I fully expected to bounce back within a week or so. After all, my mother's death had not been a surprise; she was 88 going on 89 and the disease had been taking its toll for years. On a few occasions, I prepared myself to get back in the blogging game, collecting quotes, links and thoughts on issues I really cared about. Then the transience of it all would hit me, and I'd write nothing, post nothing.

Nothing has really changed, except that I couldn't let your post about "writer's block" go by without tellng you that you are not alone in this. I know you said you were all through sharing, but I'm glad you did once again.

I'm waiting. But mostly cuz

Orlando — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:48:29 +0000

In reply to I'm with you. I've come so

I'm waiting. But mostly cuz your avatar is pretty.

I'm with you. I've come so

Nebton — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:42:58 +0000

In reply to You suck too. It's not

I'm with you. I've come so close to writing the single best blog ever written (high bar, right?), and yet, nothing for a couple weeks now. I just know y'all are all waiting on bated (or is that baited?) breath for what I write next.