dagblog - Comments for "A New Year's Eve - Clean, Sober and Liminality-Free"

Actually all jokes aside, I

PeraclesPlease — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 07:29:52 +0000

In reply to I doubt Hugh Hefner is the

Actually all jokes aside, I imagine Hugh Hefner is quite supportive of all his girls.

I don't recall ever hearing anything mean about him, which is surprising considering the kind of business and involvement he's in, and you'd figure there's be a lot of psychological problems to assist with going through the years at the Playboy mansion.

If you don't watch tv how do

Elusive Trope — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:46:48 +0000

In reply to Oh, we wouldn't watch TV--too

If you don't watch tv how do you know what fashions you're supposed to be wearing, what is the latest with the Kardasians, and what latest syndrome that needs a little blue pill you should be asking your doctor about?

That's pretty darn good. It

Elusive Trope — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:44:18 +0000

In reply to This is an interesting story.

That's pretty darn good. It isn't judgmental or saying the person is an alcoholic or even has a "problem." And it ends by returning the content of the letter and praising. Yet it still touches on the subject on alcoholism.

This is an interesting story.

erica20 — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:31:48 +0000

In reply to I just got an email from a

This is an interesting story. He probably wanted people to know that taking the bus is easier than people think it would be (hey, even a drunk can do it!) and it was brave of him to admit that he screwed up in the first place.

But yeah, the blacking out is not a great sign.

Would it be appropriate to write back & say something like this?

"I was impressed that you put that story out there. I hope that others will read it and remember that getting home safely is something a person can do even if they've had a few too many.

I do want to say I know that some people really struggle with alcohol--blacking out and not being able to make it home can be warning signs. If you or anyone who reads your email ever finds that they need help with more than their keys, there's a large and helpful sober community out there for support! For those who are interested, www.aa.org is a place to start, or just call a trustworthy person--help is out there.

Well I will get off my soap box now. Anyway, (Steve, Bob, Al) it was a great letter that will probably do some good in this crazy world. Good for you for writing it!

Sincerely,

Oxy"

I think that would get the message across without it being too specific...what do you think, Trope?

Oh, we wouldn't watch TV--too

erica20 — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:49:52 +0000

In reply to Heh. Nicely put. I mean who

Oh, we wouldn't watch TV--too much genuine human interaction and useful activity out there just waiting to get done!

Heh. Nicely put. I mean who

Elusive Trope — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:47:23 +0000

In reply to Alcohol helps prevent New

Heh. Nicely put.

I mean who wants to be authentic. Yuck!

And imagine how boring all the tv shows would be - hour after hour of people practicing random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

Thanks for this story. I

Elusive Trope — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:42:02 +0000

In reply to I just got an email from a

Thanks for this story. I would assume that the email was also some of plea for help. Not something like a full blown intervention or a call for people to drag him off to a rehab center. But by putting it out to the public so to say, to people he wasn't that close to, he was probably in his own way coming to terms with his issue, but not quite sure how to proceed. One of the common problems people with active addictions face is the once the notion is there, the next step can't be seen. It is a kind of hopelessness and depression of being out of control, unable to stop that which one wants to control.

Actually I would guess, and not knowing the person I really have no real knowledge about him, he is probably seeking someone to just listen to him, in a non-judgmental way. Someone who might offer a suggestion about what he might one consider about himself, his addiction, and the means to address it. If he is an alcoholic, he may not be ready to take the full plunge into abstinence (and heading to a AA meeting or something similar), but he does seem to wanting something more than just take a bus home if they get as drunk as he did.

One key point: he is admitting he had a blackout as a result of his drinking. People who do not have a drinking problem usually do not consume so much as to have an actual blackout (the memories are still there on those "wild nights," they're just really blurry).

Thanks for the positive comments. Happy New Year!

I just got an email from a

Oxy Mora — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:25:30 +0000

In reply to A New Year's Eve - Clean, Sober and Liminality-Free

I just got an email from a neighbor which surprised me. We talk from time to time but we are not close. The email was a confession and homily of sorts, surprising because I had no idea he might have a problem with alcohol---of course, as I would have had no clue about it's effects on your life except for your blog.

The email said he had simply gotten too drunk to drive and it was a plea for others to do as he did if they find themselves in that predicament. He somehow found a bus and took it within a few blocks of his house. He admitted to not knowing even where he got the bus, just that he had done it. I think he sent the email for himself, to put it out there publicly, so that the revelation of it might help heal him of his behavior.

Anyway, Trope, I read your story and was moved by it. I think this community is a positive force for you. Happy New Year!

Alcohol helps prevent New

erica20 — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:04:00 +0000

In reply to A New Year's Eve - Clean, Sober and Liminality-Free

Alcohol helps prevent New Year's Eve/Day from creating any kind of genuine or lasting transition in our lives: the three-day process of getting drunk, having a hangover and nursing one's brain back to normal occupies the time that we'd spend outlining and executing our plans for the upcoming year, if we really had any.

And thank goodness, I suppose--what if we all went around being planful and improving our lives and those of others? Why, all the fakery in the world would just...collapse, and there we'd be, with hardly a fig leaf to cover our realness!

In this context, downing a fifth of gin and throwing up in the middle of the dance floor becomes a heroic effort to rescue our "lather, rinse, repeat" way of life from the serious people who lurk among us, waiting for their chance to render us permanently conscious......

Thanks for the "mini-rant."

Elusive Trope — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 21:29:15 +0000

In reply to Oh excuse me as I use your

Thanks for the "mini-rant."

I used to hate New Year's Eve (and St. Patrick's Day) because my local haunts would suddenly be packed with the "amateurs," who were loud and obnoxious. One might consider one has a drinking problem when one gets upset with people for interfering with one's plan to sit and drink all night in a place where one has spent all the previous nights drinking all night.

Your description of the parties and gathering is right on in my opinion. There is usually that undercurrent of quiet desperation - which leads to people trying even harder to have a "good time" and usually drinking more. And I never understood those people who stood in Times Square (or watch it on tv).

The alternatives you offer are excellent suggestions. Of course we don't see those people like you and your spouse on the media, which would have us believe everyone (or least everyone is somebody) is out there having the time of their lives as they party to the countdown.