dagblog - Comments for "God signs new 4-year deal with Democrats: “I can finally get my Mom a new house”"

Now that God's been let into

Q-la-roo-la-roo-la — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 13:10:59 +0000

In reply to I hear he copped some of that

Now that God's been let into the Democratic Party, doncha think he could maybe lighten up a notch on Heaven's entrance requirements? Just a bit?

Like, for starters, he's gonna hafta let homos in now, I would think. Maybe do a rewrite on that gays are an"abomination" thing. Maybe spin that he meant "abominable" - like the Snowman - which in Hebrew means, "hellacious cute." We should probably check with Begala on that.

He's probably also gonna hafta start letting in druggies and rockstars and other ~~halfwits~~ Democratic Party stalwarts. Tom Petty's pretty much in, I figure, or else he'll revoke the rights to Won't Back Down. Then again, we could just fuck Tom over royally - tell him to go to hell with his song, and let God give him the boot in person!

I hear he copped some of that

PeraclesPlease — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 12:48:59 +0000

In reply to Granted, there was that

I hear he copped some of that stuff that made the Chinese swimmer half-boy and the Turkish girls long-distance runners. Which would be making God more manly or man more Godly, or some XYG wunder-chromosome.

In any case Lance Armstrong has been clamoring at the Gates of St. Peter for days now, but easier to fit a bicycle through a needle than for a competing doper to get into heaven.

Granted, there was that

Qnonymous — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 11:16:07 +0000

In reply to God signs new 4-year deal with Democrats: “I can finally get my Mom a new house”

Granted, there was that scandal about performance-enhancing practices. Sure, it's tough to trace, but you know God HAD to have turned to prayer to lift his game from time to time. It's only human.