dagblog - Comments for "The Take Back queen of echo park"

The "rest of our Christmas".

Oxy Mora — Wed, 24 Dec 2014 22:34:12 +0000

In reply to I made all my kids cloths,

The "rest of our Christmas". I like that.

You guys are reminding me of

artappraiser — Wed, 24 Dec 2014 20:51:57 +0000

In reply to It took effort, so a message

You guys are reminding me of how lucky I am to be "celebrating" away from family in the peace and quiet that is only now beginning to descend because of this holiday after yet another hectic day! My life has been extremely stressful since late spring. I did the "visit family for comfort" thing for Thanksgiving on suggestion of many. I came back with more anxiety and angst than when I left, as they did not comfort but piled their own anxieties and issues on top my own.

I am getting more relaxed than in a long time in knowing that I will not have to deal with family issues tonight because I have asked them for peace as a gift. I am thinking that I may even go to church (just for the zen of it!) Extended family can be a great comfort in times of trouble, but it has to be real serious trouble when they set all their minor "issues" aside for a temporary cause.

We are only truly safe from the need to fulfill expectations of others with those members of family who truly are friends and not just "family."

I made all my kids cloths,

trkingmomoe — Wed, 24 Dec 2014 18:34:07 +0000

In reply to It took effort, so a message

I made all my kids cloths, including their coats and sweaters because it was easy for me. I had always liked to sew. Her other granddaughter told me how jealous she was of my daughters cloths. and always wished she could have the same. It just never made much sense.

The kids and I always dreaded going there for the Christmas. We would get our lecture on how to behave and what not to say on the way there. So the kids played quietly and I always brought needle work to entertain myself with until it was over. I would just smile and bring up the weather. I would play a imaginary game that they all had Minnie Pearl hats on and who would brag about spending the most that year on vacations and big people toys showing off that price tag. They would delegate me to the kids table since I had 2 kids to serve and I would do all the clean up in the kitchen to help pass the time. Then on the way home the kids and I would get our after action report on our behavior and where we needed improvement.

We were always happy to get home and enjoy the rest of our Christmas.

New Yorkers shun their

Michael Wolraich — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 19:03:31 +0000

In reply to I didn't know about your Iowa

New Yorkers shun their neighbors too. Indeed, most New Yorkers shun all their neighbors.

(Which reminds me, I need to invite our new neighbors to our holiday party. They're Russian.)

I didn't know about your Iowa

Oxy Mora — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 18:17:32 +0000

In reply to I empathize with your

I didn't know about your Iowa roots, that's a fascinating cultural combination. It must be a Midwest thing---cutting a line is just not right. Of course gossip and shunning a neighbor is just fine.

I empathize with your

Michael Wolraich — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 17:31:54 +0000

In reply to The Take Back queen of echo park

I empathize with your cultural discord. My Russian-born wife often tries to shame me, a simple Iowa boy, when I resist her orders to engage in petty cheats and exploits, such as forging her signature or cutting ahead of a line of cars waiting to exit. I attribute her attitude to the corruption and resource scarcity of her Soviet youth. Oddly, she is very conscious of store return policies, perhaps because returns were not an option under the Communists.

It took effort, so a message

Oxy Mora — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 16:11:45 +0000

In reply to I always thought she was

It took effort, so a message(s) was embedded. Possible options.

You needed to get out more.

You were not treating your husband well,

You were a spendthrift.

You didn't know how to buy clothes for kids.

My mother-in-law had some great ones. "Why do your friends from college wear plaid pants?"

Then sitting right next to me at the dinner table, she addresses her question to wife across the table: "Does your husband want another canole?"

I always thought she was

trkingmomoe — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 15:57:25 +0000

In reply to That's a great story. And of

I always thought she was trying to send me a message but I could never figure it out or why?

That's a great story. And of

Oxy Mora — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 13:47:35 +0000

In reply to I am sitting here laughing

That's a great story. And of course the behavior continued despite your kindly messages to her, but you found a great solution.

We had a Beverly Hills connection to a guy who worked in a high end store selling silver, tableware, gifts. There was an actress who had at least one Z in her name who was a "free renter" and a real problem for the store. But she finally excommunicated herself when she returned 24 place settings which had been used at a dinner party but hadn't been put through a dish washer.

We got some good deals there.

I am sitting here laughing

trkingmomoe — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 07:10:24 +0000

In reply to The Take Back queen of echo park

I am sitting here laughing because it brings back memories of my mother in law. Many years ago when I was young and first married, she would give gifts at special occasions like Christmas of clothing that didn't fit. She would leave the tags on them and offer the receipt so you could return them.

So in early January with snow up to my butt, I would go across town to exchange all the gifts she bought us. Sometimes I was successful other times I was not and would come home frustrated from the experience. It didn't take me too many birthdays and holidays to figure out I was the only one given this task. She would buy usable non clothing gifts for everyone else. My family would get the returns. I finally got tired of that so I just put them in a consignment shop to sell because that were most of them were ending up when not returnable. I would hand the kids some money after Christmas telling them that it came from the returns and they would pick out something from the sales. I would suggest things to her that the kids would want or like but that would go in one ear and right out the other. I would drop hints that we needed a new alarm clock or some towels but it was ignored. Then during the unwrapping she would say that she didn't know what to get us. This was something she just did and was never going to change.