dagblog - Comments for "The Two-Body Problem: What I Learned"

I hope you will have more

trkingmomoe — Mon, 15 Jun 2015 17:27:43 +0000

In reply to The Two-Body Problem: What I Learned

I hope you will have more time to write here. I enjoy your topics. I am sure you will be glad to say good by to I-90. No fun in the winter. I know from experience.

Whidbey Island thankfully.

Elusive Trope — Mon, 15 Jun 2015 16:28:01 +0000

In reply to Thanks, ET. You're right that

Whidbey Island thankfully. But I grew up in Seattle, when Bellevue was just a bedroom community and Microsoft was just three years old and still in Albuquerque I believe. Recently I have gone for some job interviews in Bellevue and one had to leave an hour and half before one normally would leave to make sure one wasn't late. In fact, all the construction to broaden 405 was in large part a result of Microsoft saying that if they didn't deal with the traffic issue, they'd take the business elsewhere.

I understand the point of being more general. I had a long distance relationship Bellingham-Seattle which is about an hour and half commute, but I experienced what you did while trying to deal with the demands of those fascist university professors. ;)

Thanks, ET. You're right that

Doctor Cleveland — Mon, 15 Jun 2015 15:46:19 +0000

In reply to Glad you're giving up the

Thanks, ET. You're right that a lot of these things are true of lots of people. We live in an economy where lots of people are working right at the bleeding edge of what time, energy, and psychological health allow. I could have written a different post that was more focused on hyper specifics (i.e., where to find the cheapest gas along I-90 between points A and B), but I'm more pleased if any of this is helpful to people in other situations.

Are you in Bellevue? My spouse grew up there, and my in-laws lived there until just a few years ago.

Sounds like great news, Doc.

Michael Maiello — Mon, 15 Jun 2015 15:44:29 +0000

In reply to The Two-Body Problem: What I Learned

Sounds like great news, Doc. I bet your relationship will be stronger for having worked for it.

Glad you're giving up the

Elusive Trope — Mon, 15 Jun 2015 15:33:45 +0000

In reply to The Two-Body Problem: What I Learned

Glad you're giving up the commute nightmare. But it all got me to thinking (a bad thing to do) that much of what you experienced is the same for couples living in the same house, even if they work basically the same shift. How often do they get to see each other? How drained emotionally when they finally get home and they have all this pent up frustration and anger. Here in the greater Seattle area, a few miles away from your job can add 45 minutes to your commute. If there's accident on 405, it can take you two hours to travel to Bellevue, not that it's much better without an accident. I-5 is the same thing if Seattle is your destination. (An aside: this is primary cause of gentrification in the neighborhoods closer to Seattle, pushing the low income people further out and making them have longer commutes and spend more money on gas.)

The soccer mon or dad, or being part of the sandwich generation can mean one gets home after errands and teacher conferences etc just when it's time to go to bed. The weekends aren't much better. Quality time is shopping together at Home Depot, Later it's plopping in a dvd and watch some movie before going to bed. Sometimes just being physically present with one's significant other doesn't amount to much or, worse, becomes a source of friction that those who live apart don't experience.

Wonderful piece, Doc, and

Ramona — Mon, 15 Jun 2015 02:34:30 +0000

In reply to The Two-Body Problem: What I Learned

Wonderful piece, Doc, and congratulations. I'm glad you're finally going to have a life together. That, too, will take some adjusting, but it sounds like you've given this a whole lot of your usual careful thought.

Great advice for anyone having to follow that same path. I hope it gets out there where it can be seen. Thanks for sharing it here.

Only two?

Doctor Cleveland — Mon, 15 Jun 2015 00:12:30 +0000

In reply to I'm glad that your bifurcated

Only two?

I'm glad that your bifurcated

Michael Wolraich — Sun, 14 Jun 2015 23:55:22 +0000

In reply to The Two-Body Problem: What I Learned

I'm glad that your bifurcated existence is finally fusing, Doc. Enjoy your brave new world of uninterrupted cohabitation!

PS Now you just have to deal with the two-opinion problem