dagblog - Comments for "A Frail and Ferocious Friday Afternoon at the Haikulodeon"

Oops! Erased a line in an

barefooted — Sun, 20 Sep 2015 03:00:14 +0000

In reply to

Oops! Erased a line in an edit - mysteriously. But I love your suggestion! I wasn't sure it was "kosher" to combine a double with a tanka, but since it's poetry, I figured all's fair.

There you go! Perfect!!

MrSmith1 — Sun, 20 Sep 2015 02:56:18 +0000

In reply to Juicy strawberries ...covered

There you go! Perfect!!

Juicy strawberries ...covered

barefooted — Sun, 20 Sep 2015 02:52:40 +0000

In reply to A Frail and Ferocious Friday Afternoon at the Haikulodeon

Juicy strawberries ...

covered in melted goodness ...

healthy chocolate?

Call it what you will,

decadent sin or pleasure,

but who really cares?

…life is about the mixture

that creates the perfect blend.

MrSmith1 — Sun, 20 Sep 2015 02:44:33 +0000

In reply to Juicy strawberries ...covered

Love the first one, Missy!

I think the second one wants to be a tanka haiku, but you forgot the third 5 syllable line

How's this for a re-write?

Choc'late strawberries
Call them what you will, Pleasure
or decadent sin.
Life is about the mixture
that creates the perfect blend.

Ha! Good one, moat!

MrSmith1 — Sun, 20 Sep 2015 02:25:47 +0000

In reply to All the Amendments?

Ha! Good one, moat!

A bill of rights ad?
"Serial monogram-ist
must love acronyms
USA, NATO, FEMA,
FBI, FDIC

Try to Remember the kind of

trkingmomoe — Sun, 20 Sep 2015 01:05:38 +0000

In reply to A Frail and Ferocious Friday Afternoon at the Haikulodeon

Try to Remember the kind of September

All the Amendments?

moat — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 23:37:33 +0000

In reply to A Frail and Ferocious Friday Afternoon at the Haikulodeon

All the Amendments?
Yes, we were making stuff up.
The ad reads like this:

Serial monogamist
seeking a perfect union.