dagblog - Comments for "Only Once, Why Women Don’t Tell"

Thank you. I am humbled by

Doctor Cleveland — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 03:46:22 +0000

In reply to Only Once, Why Women Don’t Tell

Thank you. I am humbled by how brave you are.

I am having trouble posting

AmericanDreamer — Thu, 15 Feb 2018 15:48:39 +0000

In reply to Only Once, Why Women Don’t Tell

I am having trouble posting the link from my handheld but see Dana Milbank' s WashPost column today offering words to help out Sarah Huckabee Sanders on the subject of the White House's handling of the Rob Porter debacle. His is about as devastating a portrait of complete dysfunctionality in this White House as I have come across.

I am tempted to offer this as example of the fish rotting from the head down but I don't think that is the case here. Toleration of sexual assault long predated Trump's arrival on the scene. He may indeed play an unintentional role in helping us deal with it through his own revolting conduct and the tone he has set in the White House allowing Porter to be hired and remain on the scene as long as he did.

This may be encouraging more people to step up, speak out and organize to bring about change sooner than might otherwise have been the case.

I've thought about your words

barefooted — Tue, 13 Feb 2018 03:02:31 +0000

In reply to Only Once, Why Women Don’t Tell

I've thought about your words, your experience and your strength when you chose to hit "save" on this post often in the days since you did. I still don't have my own words to respond in a way that I guess I should. Support? Sure, you have that from everyone who's read this. Admiration? I suppose in the "brave" sort of way you have that, too. Broken hearts are everywhere ... all who love you feel the break in your own and want to hug it better. Hug our own better. Make it better. Somehow. Please.

But it can't be better. Abuse, assault, pain ... it will never be better; it will never leave your life. If the perpetrator (what's the right word?) goes to jail or not - if they are publicly shamed or not - if you get a monetary settlement or not - if strangers believe you or not - nothing is changed. The only true change happened to you in that frozen piece of time and will never be erased. It can only be absorbed ... and the great among us build on it.

Long before this post, Theresa, those here and most certainly elsewhere have known you to be the fascinating person that you are. Smart, sassy, funny, intolerant of fools and more than willing to say so. Not content to rest on your laurels about politics, you get your ass out there and open your mouth ... and your heart. You're not what you refuse to be, what you've never been: invisible. You are the who I admire, not the what you've been through.

You go, girl.

My wife suffered domestic

Danny Cardwell — Mon, 12 Feb 2018 19:55:18 +0000

In reply to Only Once, Why Women Don’t Tell

My wife suffered domestic abuse during the course of her 1st marriage. She still has night terrors from time to time. We need to do better. God bless you.

Thank you for sharing your

Michael Wolraich — Mon, 12 Feb 2018 16:07:02 +0000

In reply to Only Once, Why Women Don’t Tell

Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story with us, Theresa. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, so sorry that this happens to anyone. I hope that your courage and the courage of women like you help to overcome those who commit these crimes and those who pretend not to see them.

Much love, Theresa.

Michael Maiello — Mon, 12 Feb 2018 03:10:53 +0000

In reply to Only Once, Why Women Don’t Tell

Much love, Theresa.

I think the Sisters are

moat — Mon, 12 Feb 2018 00:13:37 +0000

In reply to I considered talking about

I think the Sisters (and their Brothers) are taking care of that for themselves.
Not just in some general sense of influencing the standards of what is acceptable.
But in the sense of raising a generation of women who don't even see the lines others have drawn for them.
Keep that up long enough and everything will change.

I considered talking about

Flavius — Sun, 11 Feb 2018 23:55:24 +0000

In reply to I think problem has always

I considered talking about Kelly and decided that it would be wrong to shift the emphasis from tmacs terrible story. But after having done that appropriately this is , mostly , a political site so what political action will move things in the right direction. In a hundred years it can't be fixed but so what? What can be done not to fix it but to increase the chance that in 50 years it won't still be the same?

This was I'm sure a

HSG — Sun, 11 Feb 2018 22:46:34 +0000

In reply to Only Once, Why Women Don’t Tell

This was I'm sure a challenging story to tell and you told it well and movingly. Thanks. I do call you brave - not because you were brutally assaulted - because you got up and are telling it.

Appreciation to TMac for

PeraclesPlease — Sun, 11 Feb 2018 17:39:00 +0000

In reply to Yes, you are brave. And you

Appreciation to TMac for writing this, but I cringe a bit when I see this word "brave". It's about surviving, not about launching some assault or taking on a challenge - more that hanging on by fingernails image, or just trying to salvage whatever self-respect or humanity - today, tomorrow, next week, one day at a time... tenacious, persevering, resisting the urge to run over the SoB or stab him with whatever's handy, because of course there is no sympathy, no male support or belief. This girl from Brooklyn who was raped by 2 cops for an hour, had them dead to rights on DNA, but all they had to do was say "consensual". They lost their jobs, but still, getting legal action against them is very hard. Plus every male she talked to thought she must have done something to bring it on. I don't quite get that - there was a cop in Denver who regularly abused girls he found alone on the street. Anyone who's seen Bad Lieutenant should know the routine. Maybe most males are just stupid, clueless, threatening and vindictive, and we have to start from there. It's not a complete picture, but we can't wait for perfection.