dagblog - Comments for "When Intervention Fails"

Peace!

Danny Cardwell — Fri, 07 Sep 2018 23:11:51 +0000

In reply to I am sorry you had to write

Peace!

I am sorry you had to write

Doctor Cleveland — Fri, 07 Sep 2018 01:26:08 +0000

In reply to When Intervention Fails

I am sorry you had to write this, Danny. But I am grateful that you did.

Thank you, Danny. And as for

barefooted — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 22:34:24 +0000

In reply to When Intervention Fails

Thank you, Danny. And as for the reasons that compelled you to write this; I'm truly sorry, and I understand.

I have found through very painful experience that it is possible to both say no and to move on even while letting the loved one know they are still unequivocally loved. In the end, that's what matters - and what lets those who love them find peace.

I'm not a total fan of AA 12

artappraiser — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 06:15:43 +0000

In reply to When Intervention Fails

I'm not a total fan of AA 12-step because it encourages hope in willpower and I don't necessarily believe that works for many of the truly addicted.

THAT SAID, HOWEVER, I think joining an Al-Anon group* is a very wise choice for someone in the position you describe. It is quite different. Where others that have been in the same boat as you can help you grieve and let go, which is what someone in this position has to do.

You cannot help your loved one if they are a true addict, really you can't, the others with experience will teach you that in the group, that you can't help them any more than you can cure a loved one's Alzheimer's or diabetes.

Actually, I think any successful intervention probably means the person wasn't a full blown addict yet. I would think it rare to cause a full blown or relapsed addict to stop from an intervention. I've heard more often that the shame and the pain of the intervention may actually cause them to retreat further into the addiction. There's only so much pain most humans can take, and it is a self-medication process for physical and psychological pain that has gotten them addicted and it is a vicious circle especially once they are physically addicted. If they still love you, the intervention will cause them pain and shame and they will need their medicine all the more.

I recall that Al-Anon even has advice in one of their main books about how to handle it if you happen to be forced to continue to live with person by circumstance, and beginning to let go of the person you once knew as a healthy person. They are different now, have become different people with a disease that medicine does not understand how to treat that well yet, and it is very unlikely you will ever get the old loved one back. and you certainly won't get them back through force of will. Forgive me that this will be the only comment I make here on this, not interested in elaborating or discussing.

______

* this says it well on the wikipedia entry: unrealistically overestimating their agency and control: attempting to control another person's drinking behavior and, when they fail, blaming themselves for the other person's behavior.[5

The sad thing is that most

rmrd0000 — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 21:23:56 +0000

In reply to When Intervention Fails

The sad thing is that most addicts relapse. One analysis suggests that relapse rates for addiction are not much different than for hypertension, asthma, and diabetes.

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/principles-drug-addiction-treatment-research-based-guide-third-edition/frequently-asked-questions/how-effective-drug-addiction-treatment

The fact that relapses are common is obviously no comfort when you are dealing with someone who is addicted.