dagblog - Comments for "New Year's Resolution Generator ™"

In 2012, I promise

Doctor Cleveland — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 22:40:05 +0000

In reply to New Year's Resolution Generator ™

In 2012, I promise to...

Stop triumphing over my grapefruit
Avoid shouting "zut alors" at minty cheeses
Remember to say "it's the humidity" whenever I wax
Call my monkeyshine at least 11 times a fortnight
Ask my uncle to dampen with me
Learn to drink surreptitiously
Try to laminate a greenish chicken every Kardashian
Quit sprinting with ducks
Travel to France in order to enliven a collar
Be waxier to my mukluk
Tell my pastor to misread a greenhouse

(Pretty much the same as last year...)

Stop loveing my food Avoid

kika666 — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 18:06:00 +0000

In reply to New Year's Resolution Generator ™

Stop loveing my food
Avoid shouting "really" at hot shoes
Remember to say "I don't like cats." whenever I fly
Call my ballon at least 6 times a may
Ask sofia to eat with me
Learn to jump
Try to sleep an ugly toy every tomorrow
Quit kissing with toes
Travel to home in order to dress a fire
Be cuteer to my ipod
Tell marta to listen a pencil

amazing hahahahaah

Ha. Best yet. I like the

Michael Wolraich — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:55:40 +0000

In reply to In 2009, I promise

Ha. Best yet. I like the ritual deflowering. There have been hundreds of people trying out the generator without commenting. I wonder what they got. A few have posted on their own blogs. This is one of my favs from http://www.xanga.com/surveyspertu:

Stop homogenize ing my paper towel
Avoid shouting "D'OH!" at auspicious curtains
Remember to say "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle" whenever I fornicate
Call my fabric softener at least twelve times a second
Ask Conan O'Brien to masticate with me
Learn to perspire malevolently
Try to scrub a feisty Q-tip every millenium
Quit rendezvousing with clairvoyants
Travel to a sandbox in order to beat up a Neosporin
Be chaoticer to my hyena
Tell Hank Hill to erect a peanut butter

Our highly-classifiied English-language parser still has a few bugs, as you've noticed.

In 2009, I promise

acanuck — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:40:52 +0000

In reply to New Year's Resolution Generator ™

In 2009, I promise to...

Stop changing my dilettante elitist
Avoid shouting "Kumbaya!" at Harry Reid-like CEOs
Remember to say "that we can believe in" whenever I re-elect
Call my electoral vote at least π times a millennium
Ask Obama to ritually deflower with me
Learn to dazzle (with my logic) sybaritically
Try to dagblog a stunningly simplistic middle class every nanosecond
Quit investigating with fine French wines
Travel to Ottawa, Ontario, in order to bail out a meltdown
Be Obamaesquer to my arugula-laced latte
Tell Rod Blagojevich to drink up a punditry

Full disclosure: I deleted a superfluous E or two at the end of verbs and the adjective Obamasesque. That's supposed to be a "pi" sign in resolution four. And my nouns and verbs are sometimes really nounal and verbal phrases.

Fun stuff, Genghis. I'll actually try to adhere to some of these. Not the one about investigating with fine French wines, though.

It seems that the New Year's

Michael Wolraich — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 03:57:00 +0000

In reply to New Year's Resolution Generator ™

It seems that the New Year's Resolution Generator has been stumbled upon. Welcome, stumblers, and come back soon. There's lots of cool stuff at dagblog. Here's our RSS feed. And if you strictly prefer the ha-ha, here's our humor feed.