dagblog - Comments for "Lois Lane, My Love"

Wonderful post, Doc.

AmericanDreamer — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 15:17:12 +0000

Wonderful post, Doc. In my family of birth and observing my parents' friends and how they interacted, the women were always assertive, verbally and otherwise. I didn't really think about it in this way at the time but in retrospect it seems as though they were expected to be. As in, if you were a man why would you even think of being with some shrinking violet who would not take charge of situations and make whatever she took on work? I guess I figured that was the way things generally were because it was pretty much all I experienced for a long time. And that seemed more real to me than the TV shows I grew up watching which sent different messages. (Remember "I Dream of Jeannie"? That was my first girlfriend's dad's favorite show. Subtle evocation of one type of male fantasy, that.)

My dad, to my private disgust, was sometimes dismissive of my mother when she would say something about the "wider world" that, frankly, often reflected ignorance, on account of her, like, doing most of the work as well as running his dental practice in lieu of reading the newspaper or watching the news. She was too poor, and in any case had to help her mom run the family candy and cigar store after her dad was incapacitated with a stroke, to go to college.

I don't recall ever seeing male friends of my parents figuratively "roll their eyes" at, subtly dismiss, something their or others' wives said. They might have been mindful of the presence of young'uns and reigned themselves in in front of us. To the contrary, the men seemed not only comfortable with but downright appreciative of what might have been characterized by some, pejoratively, as "brassiness".

Then there was my aunt, a longtime high school math teacher and later a school district budget director. She was warm and caring beneath the surface reserve but just would not tolerate nonsense from other people. She projected a kind of aura which said she was not someone you would even think about crossing--she was dignity, competence, strong common sense, and quiet strength personified.

Her hub was a highly caring but also no-nonsense high school principal, raised in a small-town Jewish family, the 2nd of 3 kids, with my dad being the eldest. A liberal Republican, back when there were many in the northeast and midwest, in his politics (in his Florida retirement he was appalled at what the Bush Administration was doing to the country, and has voted Dem for a long time now), he showed courage in marrying outside the faith when that was not widespread and in the face of some major pushback on that from his father in particular.

After the initial hazing process and their recognition that their views were not going to affect my uncle's decision, it didn't take his parents terribly long to love my aunt dearly. She just didn't give them any reasons or excuses not to--she was much too helpful, kind, reasonable, respectful, intelligent. What I observed in the interaction between her and my uncle was complete intellectual respect--in all realms--of a sort I did not see between my parents. It made me want that some day, too.

This is the stuff, times a bunch, of which social revoluations are made. My aunt and uncle were barrier-busters. The rabbis, most of them, have been mortified for awhile now that half or more Jews in the US marry non-Jews. I'd like to think that if Judaism offers something of value, and I believe it does, it will survive on that account. I'm not sure it's quite that simple, though. Another subject, for another day, perhaps.

All this was long before I saw any Katharine Hepburn movies. Which in turn was well before I married, on the late side. My wife has a lot of Hepburn-like qualities. As, it appears to me, do many of the women at dag who wouldn't even think of taking crap from anyone. Thank goodness. When it comes to full opportunity to participate actively in public life, this society and this world needs all hands on deck, and then some. Thanks for helping me see, Doc, that I owe a HT to Joanne Siegel, too.

E.L. Doctorow agrees. He has

MrSmith1 — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 09:45:25 +0000

In reply to Then I realized all film is

E.L. Doctorow agrees. He has the Jewish immigrant character in "Ragtime" invent the flip book which leads to him becoming a movie director:

Then I realized all film is

artappraiser — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 01:01:31 +0000

In reply to Two different blogs on

Then I realized all film is made up of pictures...dancing comic books

Just so happens this was even more literal than your comment implies, as "flip books" had a very direct part in the development of cinema.

I'll take your word for it.

Doctor Cleveland — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 00:01:06 +0000

In reply to The nine-year-olds are

I'll take your word for it.

Ha. Good point. And it

Doctor Cleveland — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 23:57:37 +0000

In reply to Fun piece, doctor. I

Ha. Good point. And it actually turned out that today was kind of a secret identity day, with one persona finishing this blog and the Official Professional persona publishing something in a totally different place. And the twain? Not meeting.

Also, for the record, I was always in the Batman as opposed to Superman camp, if the choice was put to me. But when it comes to romance, Batman is a strictly negative example.

The nine-year-olds are

Donal — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 23:56:30 +0000

In reply to The fifties TV show was kind

The nine-year-olds are reading Naruto.

The fifties TV show was kind

Doctor Cleveland — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 23:48:59 +0000

In reply to I always think of the second

The fifties TV show was kind of a drag. I remember watching it whenever reruns came on, but feeling more like I should enjoy it than that I was having a lot of fun.

The comic book was "The Dark Knight," one of the landmark comics that heralded the New Maturity that was going to change comic books for good, and totally make it worth it to move to the specialty shops instead of selling to kids through drugstore racks. (The title of the recent Batman movie, "The Dark Knight" totally comes from the comic book back in 1984 or 1985.)

Somehow, the new excting new world of highbrow adult comics never quite happened; there are always a few smart exciting comics around, just as there always were, but there's never been the promised sea change. You will periodically see the newpaper stories about how Comics Are Not Just for Kids Anymore (!!!) which tend to talk about the same three or four comic books from twenty-five years ago. The typical comic has gone from pleasantly and energetically lowbrow to convultedly middlebrow. They used to be aimed at 9-year-old boys who might be picking up a comic for the first time. Now they're aimed at thirty- and forty-something fans who've been reading a stack of comics every Wednesday for the last twenty years.

Two different blogs on

Richard Day — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 19:57:24 +0000

In reply to Lois Lane, My Love

Two different blogs on comics.

As a kid I was quite taken by the drawings. What an art form.

And now every other movie seems to have a theme drawn from comic books.

Then I found out that people like Lucas make up a script that looks like a comic book.

Then I realized all film is made up of pictures with dialogue--dancing comic books.

Good night Lois. Sweet dreams!

Fun piece, doctor. I

acanuck — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 19:40:24 +0000

In reply to Lois Lane, My Love

Fun piece, doctor. I half-expected you to confess that reading Superman was what inspired you to adopt a secret identity. The cartoon character I most admire: zen master Bugs Bunny.

I first heard from other kids

Donal — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 18:26:20 +0000

In reply to George Reeves. What a flash

I first heard from other kids that Reeves thought he was Superman and jumped out a window. My Mom told me he had been depressed and killed himself, which is still disputed.