John McCain was asked at the Saddleback Church forum about the right response to evil.

“Defeat it,” McCain said. "If I have to follow him to the gates of Hell, I will get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice. I will do that and I know how to do that. I will get that done.”

Tough talk, alright, following bin Laden "to the gates of Hell" and all. But really, Sen. McCain, why stop there?

Once you capture bin Laden as he sneaks back to the Underworld, shouldn't you go whole hog as long as you're already there? I mean, why take home small fry and let the big fish go?

No, Sen. McCain, if you're going to defeat evil, you have to go after the Prince of Darkness himself, the true high card in the deck of destruction. How about calling in an air strike on Satan himself? Only then will you have defeated evil.

Who but you, Sen. McCain, could rival the power of Almighty God Himself and make manifest your glorious works by defeating evil? Of course, that would make you the new Lucifer, and we'd have to pile on your sorry ass.