Ramona's picture

    No Politics Today. Fun and Games (for me) and Biz Bizness Otherwise

    By Ramona on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 10:26am | Potpourri, Humor & Satire
     

    The grandkids are visiting and have been here for almost a week, so any attempts at writing even a semi-serious blog have been totally wasted efforts.  I would much rather be with my darlings anyway, but in order to keep my standing as a weekly blog columnist (something only I, apparently, care about) I pulled this out of the cyber-drawer where it's been sitting for a while.  If you weren't expecting much, this should do it for you.  I'm off now.  See you soon.

     

     There's no Bizness like Biz Bizness

    Nothing earth-shaking here. Just wanted to share an advertising grab I'm finding even odder than most. Went looking for Biz Stain Fighter the other day and it wasn't easy to find. Three stores later I finally found a box sitting alone way back on a shelf. I'm trying to clean the rust stains from some old linen and lace pieces and people who do this sort of thing recommended Biz. I was busy reading the directions, and wasn't paying much attention to what else was on the box, so I didn't fully comprehend the words in the big yellow band right away. Then I did.

    I haven't tried it yet, so this is neither a recommendation nor a condemnation of the product inside. The truth is, I can't get past that box.
     



    "25% more than 30 oz." Did I save money by buying this size? It doesn't say that. It's simply a statement, and not even a complete one. So what am I supposed to do with that information? It's things like this that drive me crazy. I don't get along well with numbers anyway, and I've always hated story problems, so it could be there's an important message here that I'm just missing.

    If I were into whimsy (and I'm not saying I'm not) I might imagine that lonely box sitting way back on that dark shelf getting pretty bored. It might resort to doodling or playing number games, and maybe it got caught in the middle of one.

    Or maybe it was something less whimsical and more likely: Maybe the marketing team was brainstorming and someone came up with this lame attempt at drawing customers to their product. Maybe they even went so far as to produce a prototype before someone said, "That doesn't even make sense". But maybe it was too late, and some of the boxes actually got to the assembly line and onto the pallets and made it to the store shelves, where they just sat there, unnoticed, because apparently nobody really buys Biz anyway.

    Whatever it is, I had to get this out. Now I can get on with my day. If it's going to drive you crazy too, I'm sorry. If it makes sense to you, if you get what they're going for, you're way too smart to be wasting your time reading this page. (But maybe you could take a minute to explain it.  In private, so I don't look like such an idiot.)

    Topics: 
    Potpourri
    Humor & Satire
    Series: 
    Friday Follies

    Comments

    This was 100% more than no weekly post.


    by Donal on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 10:33am

    No, it was error: divide by zero more than no weekly post. wink


    by Verified Atheist on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:53pm

    See, there you go.  I don't get what you said there.  I'll bet that was math, wasn't it?


    by Ramona on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 5:34pm

    You are correct. It was math disguised as a computer error message. In order to figure out a percent increase, you take the difference (in this case, 1-0 = 1 extra post) and divide by the presumed original amount (in this case, zero posts). 1/0 = undefined. However, if one posed it as how much less no posts would be than one post, you'd end up with 1/1 = 100% less. So, zero posts is 100% less than 1 post (or 2 posts or 3 posts, etc.), but 1 post (or 2 posts or 3 posts) is an undefined percent more than zero posts. It's mostly a nerd thing. cool


    by Verified Atheist on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 7:14pm

    I'm taking that as a good thing.


    by Ramona on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 5:38pm

    While the box design does strike me as funny, it does not puzzle me, I have seen this with other products, it seems to me that it is designed to be priced the same as a competitor (like Oxi Clean or Clorox 2 or some such) which would usually be next to it on the store shelf, a competitor box that is 30 ounces. The make it big and bold so that you will stop and look and check out the similar ingredients/promises and chose the larger box priced the same. (There's sometimes the variant of competing against ones own product, a temporary "bonus" size larger than usual but priced the same; that, like discount coupons, is to inspire new people to try the product. ) It's not the most brilliant choice in marketing ploys, though, because there is no guarantee that the comparison boxes will be there. As when people like you find a box by its lonesome, the box then  makes no sense. And when the competitor products change, their old boxes makes no sense and then have to design and print new ones.


    by artappraiser on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 1:08pm

    Yes, it's all in the packaging and to get that consumer's attention, whether it be market goods or political messaging, when there isn't the ability to be original or what you're serving up for public consumption isn't the same, high quality product, then wrap it up to appear to be the same as the better option, just with a bit 'more' or 'something better, different'.  


    by Aunt Sam on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 2:20pm

    aa, I've seen something similar but usually they name the product they're comparing theirs to.  Are you saying that's not always so?  Because if you are, it's no longer funny and I'm blaming you for that!


    by Ramona on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 5:36pm

    Maybe it was manufactured in Lake Wobegon, where all the children are above average.

    by CVille Dem on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 2:56pm

    lol.  I'm not far from there, so it could be.


    by Ramona on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 5:37pm

    So, did the rust stains ever come out of the lace pieces or not? indecision


    by wabby on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 5:17pm

    Hi Flower, the Biz made the yellowed laces brilliantly white but the rust stains, while faded, didn't disappear.  I put the pieces on my lawn in a sunny spot for about three hours and I could barely see the stains anymore.  I probably could have done that without the Biz!


    by Ramona on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 5:33pm

    I attempted to raise some lace in my suburban garden in the old days--but I got nowhere!


    by Richard Day on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 5:41pm

    I'm surprised it didn't grow.  You're even closer to Lake Woebegon than I am.


    by Ramona on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 5:42pm

    Since Flower beat me to the question. Biz has enzymes that eat through food stains and can leave vintage cotton weak. You can always count on the oxygen from the grass and sunlight for whitening cotton. Be careful when removing stains from dyed vintage cotton, it is better just to wash in mild soap and live with the age spots like rust. Aren't grandkids fun. I made cupcakes with mine tonight and threw sprinkles all over the kitchen.

    by trkingmomoe on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 11:30pm

    Thanks, trking.  There are fabrics I wouldn't use Biz or any other enzyme product on but these were things I'd had in a drawer for years and aren't all that valuable.  I actually was a little sorry I had whitened all the yellow out of them, though.  They looked too new and no longer vintage.

    Yes, grandkids are great.  I love that you were throwing sprinkles all over the kitchen!  Our messes usually involve glue and poster paint and glitter.  We haven't advanced to food fights yet.  lol.


    by Ramona on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 8:30am

    I didn't know that about Biz, hmm. First I learned the other day that one should use fresh lemon juice to clean the inside of your microwave. It works incredibly well, to this day my husband refuses to cover anything he places in the microwave! AAARRRRGGGHHHHH.. hate that so much. It makes me want to scream at him. However,  this solution does work, (found on my cousins facebook page one day). I was amazed! I just rubbed a lemon half all over the inside of the microwave, then I ran the microwave for 30 seconds and then I wiped the inside down, it was amazing! Now I have this Biz solution for delicate fabrics. Which is good to know, I have a small collection of antique designer dresses from the 1950's and you never know when this knowledge will come in handy.

    Since B's been home recovering from her injuries I haven't had any time to train for this years cycling sooo I've been working on this again, and I am really going to finish it this year too!


    by tmccarthy0 on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 1:13pm

    That's beautiful, Teri.  Must have been quite a job.  Is that portion of the sky all that's left to do?


    by Ramona on Sat, 02/25/2012 - 6:07pm

    Latest Comments