The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
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    I'm Not a Witch Either: Christine O'Donnell Is Not the Youest of the You

    By Michael Wolraich on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 12:26pm | Politics, Humor & Satire
    I'm not a witch. I'm nothing you've heard. I'm you.

    -- Christine O'Donnell, Republican for Senate

    I'm not a witch either. Like Christine O'Donnell, I'm you. Indeed, I'm much more you than Ms. O'Donnell. I'm so you that if you weren't you, you would think that I was you. In fact, the only thing holding me back from actually being you is you, if you get my meaning.

    That's why, I'm running for public office. Because when I get there, I'm going to take the you out of the you and replace it with the me. Then I will be so much more you than you that what I do for me will really be for you. So when a corporation pays me to give your money to them, the money for me will really be for you. And the money for them will be for you too because the corporation is me, and I'm you, so the corporation is you too. It's a win-win-win. Well, really it's just one win because all three of us will in fact be you. But let's not forget that I'll be the most you of all. And you would never vote against you, would you?

    So screw that witch, and vote for me because I'm more you than she is. I'll go to Washington and do what you'd do for you only for me instead of you because I care more about you than you do. Thank you for supporting you.

    I'm Genghis and I approved this message. And so did you.

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Humor & Satire

    Comments

    Gives me You fatigue.


    by Rootman on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 12:44pm

    You and me both.  Of course, I'm you.  So you and you both.


    by Michael Maiello on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 12:48pm

    No. You're not me. I'm not a slut. A "picnic" on that alter? Yeah. right. You got laid.


    by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 2:03am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOjdhOEVRFE&feature=fvst

    coo coo cachooo

    Bless you. hahah


    by Richard Day on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 12:53pm

    When Christine and I look into our mirrors and over our shoulders, we see some other you looking back at we...and we are each other and it must be the season....sorry, I can't resist....help me...I'm powerless...must be the season......

     


    by we are stardust on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 12:55pm

    This makes me like myself a lot less. I preferred those days when nobody was me, including myself. 

    Now that I am suddenly her, she is going to need a lot more than a string of pearls to "do what I would do" in D.C. I made a list:

    Case of single malt scotch

    Sawzall (battery powered)

    Angle grinder (battery powered)

    Shaolin Temple war hammer

    Case of duct tape (Gorilla brand)

    Crossbow (hunting bolts)

    Calculator

    Reading glasses

     


    by moat on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 1:31pm

    Shonen knife?


    by Desidero (not verified) on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 2:29pm

    Which you am I?


    by quinn esq on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 1:37pm

    Your syntax gave you away, Sarah P! What have you done with Genghis? Did you get your African buddy to try to take his religion away? BRING HIM BACK!!!!!!!!

    by CVille Dem on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 1:49pm

    Thanks, Genghis!  You made me realize that if O'Donnell now goes on to win this, we will officially transition from the "Al Franken Decade" to the "You Decade".  (Oy!)


    by azpaull on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 2:32pm

    And I thought it was just this intestinal bug I was suffering from, but now I find out it's you.  Psyllium seed husks for everyone!  I feel the need to purge the you from me. 


    by miguelitoh2o on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 2:38pm

    Wait ... she's me? Some woman in Delaware has turned herself into me?

    There's only one way anybody could do that ...

    Witchcraft.


    by Doctor Cleveland on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 3:46pm

    Great, will all of 'you' just shut up now? ;)


    by synchronicity on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 11:17pm

    Here's O'Donnel's revised ad:


    by miguelitoh2o on Wed, 10/06/2010 - 5:17pm

    or this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zHYVkuwxiM&feature=player_embedded


    by miguelitoh2o on Wed, 10/06/2010 - 5:18pm

    Ha. I fixed the video for you. Try the little filmstrip option in the toolbar next time.


    by Michael Wolraich on Wed, 10/06/2010 - 6:05pm

    I think it's all pretty simple.  If I think, therefore I am, then the only way I am you, rather than me, or you are me, rather than yourself, is if I or you don't think.  Enough said.


    by Elusive Trope on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 6:57am