The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
    Michael Wolraich's picture

    My Glorious "Resignation" Speech to the Impudent Mewling Nothings of the Blogosphere

    By Michael Wolraich on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 5:09pm | Politics, Humor & Satire

    Dear readers, compatriots, and assorted morons,

    There have been rumors that I would bow to the outpouring of popular contempt by resigning my position as Administrator in Chief at dagblog.com, one of the most populous and strategic properties in the blogosphere. Those rumors are lies.

    I have faced public flaming several times in my illustrious career. I did not submit, nor yield to ad hominem attacks. I do not negotiate with trolls.

    Nonetheless, in order to create the appearance of respecting the popular will, I have decided to pretend to hand over some of my powers to my subordinate. He will now be able to edit the titles of news links. This is a small sacrifice on my part, since he is merely my pseudonym in any case.

    I have also decided to sack the megalomaniacal William K. Wolfrum, who has repeatedly infuriated readers by exposing them to doctored photos of himself dressed in lederhosen and other stupid costumes. This too is a small sacrifice, since Wolfrum already resigned this morning for personal reasons. And because he is also my pseudonym.

    In short, I, the great and powerful Genghis, will continue to administrate, you worthless peons. Go back home, and cease your interminable whining.

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Humor & Satire

    Comments

    Am I also your pseudonym? I need to figure out my role in the transition.


    by Doctor Cleveland on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 5:20pm

    Just go home. We'll keep you safe.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 5:26pm

    Hey, I thought you were going to resign. Get out, get out!


    by acanuck on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 5:31pm

    A grateful people turn their eyes to you, Genghis, with deepest thanks for having restored order and tranquility (and prosperity and justice at some point in the future, subject to negotiation) to the great dagblog nation.

    You, doctor, will be kept on during the transition period, in your role as physician. It is anticipated there will be many cracked heads to administer to.


    by acanuck on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 5:30pm

    What a relief! I'm eager to serve.

    Of course, my medical knowledge comes primarily from the study of the English Renaissance, but have no fear. I have been carefully updating my astrological charts and I've got the leeches ready to go.


    by Doctor Cleveland on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 7:13pm

    Bring your charts, but the leeches are already in plentiful supply.


    by acanuck on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 7:44pm

    You gonna finish that 'samich? Or can I haz it?


    by kgb999 on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 10:45pm

    My leech 'samich? Be my guest. Yuck, I don't know why Mom keeps packing those for me.


    by acanuck on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 11:34pm

    Hmmm. Since I was leeching your 'samich ... does that make me a cannibal?


    by kgb999 on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 2:22am

    No, it just makes you a lot more hungry than the rest of us.

     


    by LisB on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 2:27am

    I accept.


    by quinn esq on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 5:37pm

    See.  This is the great danger with revolutionary change.  You never know who might try to step into the role of new leader.   You sir may have some repute among the great Northern herd of moose (meese, moosi,?), but blogmaster is another kettle of fish, a horse of a different color,  a bridge too far, an ice cream cone sans cone… (Oh god I’m starting to write like Dickday.)


    by LarryH on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 10:02pm

    And you'll make an excellent Treasurer. 

    Now shut up and count the money.


    by quinn esq on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 12:55am

    Can't keep up. I need to start taking notes.


    by emerson on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 5:54pm

    Only the military can save Dagblog now...


    by The Decider on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 6:18pm

    I wave my shoe at you shouting "leave, leave, leave!"


    by stillidealistic on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 6:24pm

    As one of founding members of the TPM Software Whiners' Club  Solidarity Movement, I suppose I should say something. But I got nothing. I'm beaten, submissive. Mewling and nothing, yes, impudent, no. Whatever you say, sahib.


    by artappraiser on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 6:41pm

    I thought that I told you people to go away. Why isn't anyone listening to me? I'm Genghis!


    by Michael Wolraich on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 8:00pm

    No doubt you are needed to keep order on this site, and your past heroism in planting the dagger where it belongs is questioned by none.

    You do, however, need to put larger pictures of yourself all over this site!

    GENGHIS, HERO DAGBLOGGER AND OUR LEADER!


    by NCD on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 8:39pm

    Sure is alot of sarcasm going on here.


    by Orion on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 8:37pm

    Hey, the post is labeled Humor & Satire. Just trying to keep Genghis honest. Not an easy task, you know.


    by acanuck on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 11:36pm

    It's nice at home!


    by Michael Maiello on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 8:49pm

    I'm not cleaning up after you people.  Get that straight.


    by Ramona on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 9:13pm

    Will the gov't keep sending us money?


    by Donal on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 9:32pm

    We won't have  Genghis to kick around any more!

    Actually we will since you've changed your mind. But, who knows, maybe you'll redecide to re-sign(re-resign?). ? .


    by Flavius on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 10:43pm

    Oh, shut up, Genghis.  I'm busy ignoring Sarah Palin this week.

    You'll get your turn next week, okay?

     


    by LisB on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 11:03pm

    Where do ya find an icepick these days? Just askin'.


    by Donal on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 12:34pm

    You had to know someone would do this:

    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=ice+pick&x=0&y=0


    by EmmaZahn on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 1:47pm

    "Heavy Handled" ice pick. Love it.


    by Donal on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 2:03pm

    Don't toy with me, people, or I'll tell my sock puppets to shut down this thread.


    by Michael Wolraich on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 2:07pm

    Now we know two people whose hard drives will show a recent search for an ice pick, just in case we need someone to frame for something…


    by Verified Atheist on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 2:09pm

    That is just means.   What about motive? opportunity?  

    I cannot say whether or not Donal has those.   I know I don't.

    Oh, and are you absolutely sure your computer did not accept any third-party cookies when you opened this thread?


    by EmmaZahn on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 2:16pm

    Motive? Deposing a dicator.

    Opportunity? I'm pretty sure you're one of his sock puppets, so you're right there!

    Wink

    Oh, and are you absolutely sure your computer did not accept any third-party cookies when you opened this thread?

    Cookies are for kids. Adults use Tor, while tunneling from FermiLab.


    by Verified Atheist on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 2:21pm

    Cool new toys!   Thanks.


    by EmmaZahn on Fri, 02/11/2011 - 4:27pm