Michael Wolraich's picture

    What really happened in Canada...

    Many of you may have read the story about how Ian Brodie, chief of staff to the Canadian Prime Minister said that a Clinton representative had downplayed Hillary's Nafta comments to the Canadian embassy: "He said someone from (Hillary) Clinton's campaign is telling the embassy to take it with a grain of salt. . . That someone called us and told us not to worry."

    I'm sorry to say that it gets worse. I've delved deeper into the story and discovered that Canada's primary concern was not Nafta but plagiarism. Canada is the world leader of the anti-plagiarism movement, and Canadians convicted of plagiarism may face 6 months in jail or 48 hours of back-to-back heavy metal tributes to Celine Dion, which Amnesty International has called a human rights violation. In 2003, Canada sponsored the International Edmund Accord on Plagiarism, which George Bush refused to sign, arguing that plagiarism isn't really a problem and is best addressed by free market forces despite the fact that 99% of English teachers agree that the problem has reached epidemic proportions and threatens to destroy the world.

    Last month, Canadian spies in Duluth, Minnesota forwarded classified reports to Ottowa about accusations of plagiarism against Barack Obama. But they got the wrong candidate, and the Canadian embassy reached out to the Clinton campaign about the accusations. One Canadian official, who refused to be named for fear of ridicule, said, "You Americans all look the same to us." Clinton representatives assured the Canadians that Hillary takes plagiarism very seriously and would be willing to review the current American policy which prohibits extradition on plagiarism charges. Obviously, this news would not have played well in Ohio, which is widely known as the plagiarism capital of the world. It's economy has suffered recently from a surge in plagiarism out of Mexico.

    When Brodie was approached by CTV reporters, he was distracted by the hockey game on the big screen and thought that they were asking about the plagiarism charges. He explained that the embassy had been reassured by the Clinton campaign. But the reporter was asking about Nafta. At a CTV editorial staff meeting, the Canadians again mixed up the candidates, switching back to Obama. One CTV reporter, who refused to be named for fear of ridicule, said, "You Americans all look the same to us." So the reporters prepared a story about Obama contacting the Canadians about Nafta, and the rest, as they say, is history.

    Late update: The unnamed official is pressing plagiarism charges against the unnamed reporter.

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