We begin with animism. In order to even get to this concept of anthropomorphism. Besides, it is easier to spell.  Animism is: The belief that plants and inanimate objects have souls.

Anima meant soul in Latin. I do not think the concept of animism  should be applied to plants if we are getting into silliness. I mean plants think.

I have already discussed the idea of consciousness from a number of perspectives. Joseph Campbell the famous anthropologist and the popular anthropologist for decades really had me thinking.

Bill Moyers (my hero in life, really) had a series of interviews with Dr. Campbell that really rocked. I mean you really understood why we needed a member and government funded channel on television. Why we must have some source on our cable that has no commercials.

Speaking of commercials. If I hear one more ad telling me to go to my doctor and beg him for some prescription for my fat belly or my heartburn or my penis, I will ...well what can I do? The best part of the commercial, as you all know is the CAVEAT.  After 5 years of Latin I remember two things:

Caveat Emptor-Buyer Beware

Cave Canum-Beware of Dog

I was told that Cave Canum on a sign was the first example of writing. That is ridiculous of course. The first writing was something of a hieroglyphic that indicated if the container enclosed wine or salt or some spice that would make your penis bigger. With a warning of course that the spice should not be used in cold environs.

The Caveat in these commercials usually goes:

Do not use if you have ever experienced shortness of breath, sharp pains in your chest, cramps in your legs, a heart transplant, a kidney transplant, sex with someone not of your own species or if you just wish to live a long and pleasant life.

PBS only has commercials in the first two or three minutes now. And these commercials inform you about the inroads that oil companies have made in green technology or how AIG is making our world better.  Like shorts from a republican convention.

Dr. Campbell was asked by Bill what consciousness is. I get into Jaynes a lot. You can bore yourself with Aquinas also if you wish, but Campbell actually brought me to Johnny Miller.

Like I demonstrated before, Miller will do a play by play of a golf tournament, something of the rich, by the rich and for the rich. And he will always, and I mean ALWAYS, point out that the shadow on the green will  indicate a tendency of your putt to go against the shadow.
Campbell is pointing out that the blade of grass IS CONSCIOUS of where the sun is.

Oh it is just a biochemical reaction some say. But the same cells that tell the grass where the light is are in your eyes as you read my drivel.  And we are all aware when we see time lapse photography and witness a flower opening up with the rising sun.

I always like the Discovery Channel or History Channel when they show these strange flowers that wait to open until the middle of the night. They shun light. And moths come and suck their sweet sap when the mouse lemurs are not disturbing the ecosystem.

But I understand how these 'tree huggers' become enthralled with plants. The complexity involved. And sometimes the centuries involved in the structure of some trees.

And when you are taking a walk and the sky is 'covered' and you notice that the leaves on some of the trees and bushes are 'turned'. When you see that omen, get home. Because 'IT' is coming.

Some weather phenomena is going to change your life forever if you do not seek shelter.    

At any rate, animism is attributed to objects as far as I am concerned, objects with no souls. Animism is that pagan belief in the  facility of stones to speak to you. Geologists will disagree with me on this statement of course. But, if you wish to sponsor a party that rocks, stay the hell away from geologists. I mean THAT'S NOT RIGHT. TALKING TO ROCKS. I MEAN THAT JUST IS NOT RIGHT.

But that does not mean that I am capable of a belief in animism.

I will arise and turn on my coffee maker and then go to the bathroom to urinate. I will then turn on my PC and the TV. I am, of course, thinking of that first taste of coffee in the morning. I mean I am soon to discover my favorite taste-next to nicotine of course-and hear the new news. Then I wander into the kitchen, because it is now time to grab my coffee.

Now, there is a brown liquid accumulating on the floor. No coffee pot has been put 'into' the contraption. Of course there was. Otherwise WHY WOULD I TURN THE FRICKING THING ON IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Now there is no coffee. I have to turn off the machine and attempt to catch any liquid still falling from the machine that will not melt. I pull the cord out of the wall. You throw some towels on the floor to gather up the liquid. You pick up the 'machine' and attempt to clean under it because the counter is now all f....ed up and you are screaming at an inanimate object.

I mean, this machine is not any brighter than a Foreman Grill. But it has conspired to destroy your day. There is no doubt about it. That coffee machine was not without a glass pot to catch its magic when you started out that morning. EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE RINSING OUT THAT POT AND CLEANING IT THE NIGHT BEFORE BY LETTING IT SOAK IN SOME BLEACH AND DISH SOAP......

Ok, ok. But then you redo your day. You just do a quick drip with hot water in your little drip unchipped coffee maker that has no plug in, no intelligence.  And, meanwhile, your computer screen is blank. When you hit the start button, it just kind of automatically shut off because you hit it wrong and the tv has jughead on talking about how he and Newt saved the world economy in the 90's by taking away cadillacs from welfare women and.....

So you put on your coats-up here one coat is not enough in the winter-hell in the spring-and you decided it was time to take a walk and so you go outside and get on the sidewalk and do not realize that there is a patch of ice and you go down on your arse.

And, well, you know 'they' were out to get you. The computer, the coffee maker, the tv and the sidewalk. You know that there was a conspiracy of some sort.  I mean you woke up without cramps in your thighs, and you felt so relieved after the bathroom visit and your back does not hurt-that much-and the sun is out and this is going to be a fine day. But THEY were not going to let this continue. I mean, THEY ARE GOING TO DESTROY YOUR DAY.

This brings me to the issue of nuclear arms. I mean if a coffee maker can conspire against you and destroy your day and your kitchen what about a missile silo?  Or a nuclear reactor? I mean it is no small thing that Homer Simpson can work at a nuclear plant. We have all seen when he screws up making coffee at work.

Anthropomorphism is another belief. It occurs when you attribute human motives or thought to an animal. We await Steve Katz and his Chronicles of Murray to really get into this issue tomorrow, but I thought I could do an introduction.

I think of me and Scout, in the old days in the lake home. Scout, my Golden Labrador, only scroungier, was my friend. She would tell me when it was time to exercise, when it was time to eat and when it was time to sleep. Once a month, I would have a visitor and we would sneak out to a bar and eat pizza and play pool. When we returned, Scout would be in a corner on the floor. She would not greet me. She might lift her head and then look away.

Who is this, she would say with her eyes. F...you anyway.

Or, sometimes she would just hide under the piano and just stay away from me. LIKE I WOULD NOT NOTICE THIS.  She knew it got to me. Even more than the coffee maker.

Now I am guilty of attributing human emotions and thoughts to a mammal. Emotions and thoughts that really were not there. I imagined them.

It is like those who would see dicky cheney giving some speech before a group of veterans, sometimes even uttering a prayer. I mean, they would tell a reporter, our Vice President cares about our soldiers and this nation. And he only wishes the best for all of us.

This is precisely an example of people attributing human qualities to an evil spirit. This is worse than anthropomorphism. I mean any scientific method would conclude after thorough investigation that spirits like cheney cannot exhibit any human emotions or thoughts. I mean it is an impossibility. This 'man' and men like him, have no souls, no anima. Only animus and enema.

THE END