GIRALDO RIVERA

This guy who once WAS Good Morning America, decided to film his own wondrous search for Al Capone's safe.

So Rivera took us onto a journey to find Al's Safe.

So, supposedly he finds the safe of Scar Face and he proceeds to have it opened annd guess what?

It was empty.

I recall thinking:

WHAT A WASTE OF TIME, I COULD HAVE HELPED MY SON WITH HIS HOMEWORK OR TAKEN A WALK OR VACUUMED THE RUG...

So I have no life, no life at all.

So I check up on the History Channel and sure enough, there are all these shows (documentaries?) where a group of folks look for stuff and 'find' nothing.

THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND

Okay.

So this group of Journey-ists are looking for pirate booty in a swamp of all places.

That is different from business guys who go to pole dancing facilities where the celebrities dress up with funny hats and eye patches.

Well, the team finds these caverns or holes or whatever and spend all this money on big machines and stuff and....

WELL THEY FIND NOTHING.

Well, to be fair they discover some old coin.

And guess what? I swear to the Almighty some narrator comes on the audio portion of this debacle and says:

Welcome to Season II?

WHAT?

Like these other History Channel presentations, it is not what you actually find, the journey is what matters as well as the most preposterous leaps of logic you can lunge for during the many, many scenes of nothingness that burden all these shows.

At least the UFO and Ancient Aliens 'documentaries' constantly take the viewer to global sites containing evidence of the wonders created by ancient humans.

And during those epic presentations, similarities in building techniques and symbols give many fans some important lessons relating to cultural diffusion; the universal transfer of ideas from continent to continent and these presentations underline the contradictions in 'generally accepted archaeological theories'.

All of the interesting bits related to secret pirate caches on this strange island could have been presented in one hour; with advertisements.

We view a strange set of stone tunnels along with wooden features that span a large area of this strange land.

How in the hell these 16th, 17th, 18th and 19th century mariners created these deep holes as well as long tunnels and were somehow able to line the structures with wood and rocks is amazing.

And that the liquid flows into these tunnels is in itself amazing.

But like I have stated, the entire story could have been told in a little over 40 minutes.

I will give this team one kudo though.

Unlike Geraldo, they did find one coin.

THE SEARCH FOR GIANTS

Well this team led by two brothers looks for the remains of ancient giants in North America.

And when you wish to discuss Ancient Giants, you must include references to Genesis and The Odyssey and hundreds of ancient tomes that refer to giants.

This giant search is funnier than the damn search for pirate treasure.

I watched an interview with Donnie Wahlberg concerning Blue Bloods.

He noted that the family dinner scenes that comprise about 3-5 minutes of each episode take 4 hours to tape prior to editing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3HMYeAUCCY

The producers/directors of this giant satire take about 3-5 minutes to film 3-5 minutes of meaningless conversations between members of the team. And these stupid scenes are repeated over and over and over until the entire enterprise becomes cartoonish.

Of course it is the 3-5 second scenes depicting the brothers as they nod to each other and squint at each other and give each other the thumbs up as they make their nihilistic search for giant bones that do not exist...but these knowing looks and gestures are really funny until the same scenes are repeated over and over and over....

Now remember that the Ancient Alien nuts never find one chard of glass or one wire or one battery (that could deliver more than one mini-watt of power) or one clamp or one power drill or one set of rails or even THE WHEEL or anything that could deliver proof of some teleological certainty concerning ancient tech that never existed. At least if we found a watch in the desert without some Rolex etching

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/what-will-we-leave-in-the-fossil-record-180952666/

But the stone work that appears all over the world is astounding all by itself.

And the ancient sites are incredible to view.

So if one ignores the silliness of this giant satire, one might find some solace in the fact that several examples of the great Mississippi Mound Culture spanning the entire Central USA are presented.

And it is extremely difficult in most cases to access these great mounds/pyramids since they are oftimes found on sacred ground.

A multitude of Native-American nations do not wish that these sacred grounds be violated and Federal as well as State legislation prohibits such desecration.

So what does this 'documentary' state as its primary conspiracy to find Giant Bones?

The Smithsonian.

So I am in the outhouse again, having re-subscribed to the Smithsonian Magazine and what do I find?

THE 9,000-YEAR-OLD MAN SPEAKS

The main article appears on page 52 of the September 14th edition.

It turns out that after 20 plus years, the Smithsonian was finally able examine the bones of this giant Native-American. And this occurred because the various groups protested against the desecration of these old bones.

I just bring this up because the Alien documentaries always tell us that the Federal, State and World governments are hiding all this ET stuff.

And the Goshen doc has to underline that governmental forces are attempting to prevent the team's journey.

And the Giant searchers claim that the Smithsonians as well as other forces are attempting to hide all the ancient giant bones.

THE END

Except who killed JFK and how come fluoride is allowed to interrupt my bowels from time to time?

LINKS?

GERALDO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LWAwWwIe7Y

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geraldo_Rivera#Talk_shows.2C_specials_and_guest_appearances

THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChaGXh_hSXk

THE SEARCH FOR GIANTS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlQPP_tmpQc

MISSISSIPPI MOUND CULTURES

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mound_Builders

POSTSCRIPT

How can I make money?

That is the issue and I guess, always has been since Chaucer.

The Play is the thing.

I am becoming more and more of a nihilist.

Rhetoric and drama and presentation is everything.

Cruz knows this, Curly Rand knows this, Rubio thinks he knows this, Murdoch KNOWS this, Clinton understood this, Pudge Luntz is an expert in this,

WHAT SELLS?

THAT IS THE QUESTION THAT JUST NOT DEFINES AMERICA, IT IS THE QUESTION THAT IS AMERICA.

THE REAL END