When President Barack Obama gave the commencement address given at Notre Dame today, I thought he expressed ideas that make this particular speech extremely timely and universal for it's sentiment.  It is about what he called being "a lighthouse and a crossroads."  It is worth reading in full, if one has the time:

"I do not suggest that the debate surrounding abortion can or should go away. Because no matter how much we may want to fudge it -- indeed, while we know that the views of most Americans on the subject are complex and even contradictory -- the fact is that at some level, the views of the two camps are irreconcilable. Each side will continue to make its case to the public with passion and conviction. But surely we can do so without reducing those with differing views to caricature."

 

"when we do that -- when we open up our hearts and our minds to those who may not think precisely like we do or believe precisely what we believe -- that's when we discover at least the possibility of common ground."

 

"Moreover, no one person, or religion, or nation can meet these challenges alone. Our very survival has never required greater cooperation and greater understanding among all people from all places than at this moment in history."

 

Unfortunately, finding that common ground -- recognizing that our fates are tied up, as Dr. King said, in a "single garment of destiny" -- is not easy. And part of the problem, of course, lies in the imperfections of man -- our selfishness, our pride, our stubbornness, our acquisitiveness, our insecurities, our egos;.... We too often seek advantage over others. We cling to outworn prejudice and fear those who are unfamiliar. Too many of us view life only through the lens of immediate self-interest and crass materialism; in which the world is necessarily a zero-sum game. The strong too often dominate the weak, and too many of those with wealth and with power find all manner of justification for their own privilege in the face of poverty and injustice. And so, for all our technology and scientific advances, we see here in this country and around the globe violence and want and strife that would seem sadly familiar to those in ancient times."

 

"The soldier and the lawyer may both love this country with equal passion, and yet reach very different conclusions on the specific steps needed to protect us from harm. The gay activist and the evangelical pastor may both deplore the ravages of HIV/AIDS, but find themselves unable to bridge the cultural divide that might unite their efforts. Those who speak out against stem cell research may be rooted in an admirable conviction about the sacredness of life, but so are the parents of a child with juvenile diabetes who are convinced that their son's or daughter's hardships can be relieved."

 

"The question, then -- the question then is how do we work through these conflicts? Is it possible for us to join hands in common effort? As citizens of a vibrant and varied democracy, how do we engage in vigorous debate? How does each of us remain firm in our principles, and fight for what we consider right, without, as Father John said, demonizing those with just as strongly held convictions on the other side?"

 

Many of us have learned the wisdom inherent in making a life change from ideas like the ones expressed here: respecting both sides, honoring the conscience of those we disagree with.  I for one have the distinct luxury of not only previously holding diametrically opposed views to ones I now have, but I also succeded in getting to know others who shared these feelings, after examining their conscience.  What was missing was opening my heart to the other side. 

That is where this forum came into the equation.  While holding these opposite views, I had some holier than thou convictions, and spouted them regularly.   Yet slowly, in time, I learned the ability to master my emotions, to harness my passion--just enough to discover the benefits of seeing the entire debate without the taint of prejudice, and the power of willing to listen to those who despised what I represented. 

The debate did not--and should not go away.  The debate is necessary, and we are better for it.  The tone and the table we exchange ideas on, however: respect, open hearts, good faith, fair minded words--can lead us closer and closer to common ground; which is ground worth playing on, if you want to be successful in your efforts a s a human being.  We can, as said today be both a lighthouse and a crossroads--not in what we expect from others, but what we change in ourselves.  Not what we ask of those we oppose, but what we intend to offer them.

I have decided to become the change I wish to see.  I have decided to become a lighthouse and a crossroads.  I can have my opinion, and it may never change.  But it enlightens and behooves me to respect the conscience of everyone who cares enough to have an opinion.  And it makes possible the chance that I and my conscience may be in turn respected.  If we are only concerned with talking to those who agree with us, demonizing those who demonize us, and never questioning the motives behind why the divide exists--then what of worth is to be gained?