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    To McDonald's With Love

    By barefooted on Tue, 05/05/2015 - 9:10pm |

    My best friend and I worked at McDonald's when we were barely fifteen. We obviously lied about our age, but the manager didn't care. He was the oldest employee at twenty-two and liked bossing teenagers around - when we weren't all getting high in the break room after hours.

    Most of the time I was on the register up front taking orders, smiling at varying degrees of humanity and reasonably happy doing it. They put me on fries now and then which mildly annoyed me, but I soon learned that the grill was my real nemesis. We all took turns working the lobby, mopping and cleaning restrooms. The stoner manager liked me, so I never had to endure "the switch" to the parallel universe known as the breakfast shift. In retrospect, it was a good first job that taught me a lot about teamwork. More importantly for my future self, I learned that I genuinely liked people ... especially when they expanded my view.

    McDonald's served burgers and fries back then, with apple or cherry pies for desert. The Big Mac™ was, of course, so famous that we still remember the jingle. Breakfast consisted of EggMcMuffins™, biscuit sandwiches and a combo of eggs, sausage, pancakes and hashbrowns. That was pretty much that. No chicken anything - salads? At McDonald's? It was what fast food was intended to be: cheap, greasy, tasty and fast. Everything made in batches, wrapped in paper or styrofoam boxes, kept warm under heat lamps and delivered on demand. A wildly popular mash-up of vending machine and restaurant, it was the quintessential method of filling your pie hole on the fly. In stained tee-shirts and sweats. There were a few other places that cashed in on the uniquely American invention; Hardees and Burger King led the popularity charge. Menus expanded as the market demanded, and KFC rose to the top of the fried chicken empire while Dairy Queen monopolized ice cream. Some bright entrepreneur noticed the Mexican food craze and Taco Bell was born. So forth and so on ... taste bud chasing ensued. But the fundamental reason for their success remained unchanged - people in a hurry and hungry wanted cheap food fast.

    So what happened? McDonald's has been in a serious slump for several years worldwide. So goes Ronald's golden arches, so goes the industry. The obvious answer that consumers have moved in a healthier direction has been collectively embraced almost fanatically. Leaner burgers, low-salt fries, grilled chicken, turkey, whole wheat bread, salads and fruit are being offered everywhere. If it's good for you -- at least less bad -- it's headlining their neon menus. Nowadays, supposedly, people in a hurry want cheap food fast ... and guilt-free. That plan, that key to recapturing public adoration (and cash) isn't working. And it never will.

    People who prefer a healthy diet never ate fast food in the first place. A treat for the kids now and then, maybe. But on the scale that made McDonald's and its ilk go-to destinations? No. What made fast food so great, served with no fanfare or promises to change your life, was the abundance of guilt. The pure pleasure of a greasy burger and salty fries washed down with a burp-inducing sugary drink. The sheer joy of sitting in the car, totally anonymous, as someone handed you a bag full of food at a ridiculously cheap price. Very few people eat like that on a regular basis. But when we hit the fast food joint around the corner we're not looking for turkey on wheat bread with low-fat mayo. We aren't in a nightgown packing the kids in the back seat for a salad. When we think McDonald's, we don't think kale. And we never will.

    So my advice to all the fast food chains trying to play dress-up as health food restaurants is simple: embrace your roots. Take a walk on the wild side of culinary sin ... and (shhh) we'll meet you there.

     

    Comments

    When I was in college, I worked part-time at a McDonald's wannabe, called Sandy's and later at a fish and chips fast food place called the Zuider Zee.  They were small-time franchises using the McDonald's business model.  I think there was a whole different mindset in those days.  Yes, there was a health food movement, but most of us were young and the idea of clogged arteries was something that old people had to worry about, not us.   There wasn't a sense of immediacy in any food decision we made.  We ate what we liked and liked what we ate. End of story.   And while there were health-food enthusiasts, they were mostly a novelty, telling us to eat weird stuff like brewer's yeast and cod liver oil ... and telling us to take handfuls of vitamins.  If we were really concerned, we ate whole wheat bread instead of white, thinking that that made a huge difference.  It all seems kind of naive now, doesn't? 
     


    by MrSmith1 on Wed, 05/06/2015 - 7:54am

    It's a very good thing that nutrition is more "fashionable" now, especially for kids. Not only a better understanding of health benefits, but that food that's good for you can also be really yummy! And like momoe said, cooking for your family at home is the best idea - for any number of reasons.

    But fast food shouldn't try to be politically correct. It's the irreverent elephant in the room that deserves to be seen in all of it's glutinous glory. We should certainly strive to be healthy, but sometimes, when it feels good to be bad, we just need to know it's okay.


    by barefooted on Wed, 05/06/2015 - 6:43pm

    Their customer base has always been the people who didn't have the money to eat out at a traditional restaurant. I always took the kids out once a week to a fast food place 30 years ago when I was too busy to cook. They loved the happy meal toys.  I don't take the grandkids today like that.  I try to plan ahead for busy days by keeping things in the freezer to microwave.  They don't seem to beg for it either like kids used too. They would rather have fried chicken from the grocery store deli.  It is actually cheaper to do that then get happy meals. 

    It was easier then, to load the kids up in pajamas and go out for ice cream cone.  Now I make the ice cream and they get to see it freeze up in the ice cream maker. I do the clean up in my pajamas.  

    I have to take the kids half way to school to a bus hub because the schools don't have the money to do regular bus routs. So that is an expense I didn't have years ago.  Every trip is planned so to save the gas for school.  We go less and there is less hunger on the road to tempt everyone to stop for fries and a coke. You can't say it is because everyone is eating more healthy by choice. 


    by trkingmomoe on Wed, 05/06/2015 - 9:55am

    The most expensive items on a fast food menu are the "healthy" ones. The best deals are on the dollarish list, and they are consistantly the unhealthy classic items. Let's be real - you can get a big bag full of greasy, salty goodness for around ten bucks. Fill a cars worth of bellies on the run and have ketchup packets left over (I used to save them).

    My point is that they are what they are. If you eat French food you expect real butter and heavy cream. You can't eat Italian without cheese, oil and heavy meat sauce. Burgers and fries will always be a guilty pleasure, so why pretend otherwise? I say they change their marketing entirely and target the "Diners, Drive-In's and Dives" market.


    by barefooted on Wed, 05/06/2015 - 2:45pm

    Yes to all of this.  Love it!  You forgot Arby's.  We were just talking about how great their beef was when they first started.  It was a cone-shaped monstrosity on a rod and every sandwich got freshly sliced beef.  I can almost taste it now. . .but not at the current Arby's, sorry to say.

    We usually stay away from McDonald's, except for a cup of coffee now and then, but we've discovered (on the dollar menu) their cheddar and grilled onion burger.  With some ketchup, mustard and pickles, which they'll provide, it tastes like an old-fashioned equivalent to our White Castle wannabee (which was far better), Bray's in suburban Detroit.

    I still can't stomach their french fries, but that little burger is terrific!


    by Ramona on Wed, 05/06/2015 - 3:48pm

    Ah, yes ... Arby's. Like Taco Bell, they found an untapped niche and filled it remarkably well. Who would have expected that roast beef could cross over from grandma's table to fast food? They even used onion rolls! (But I learned the hard way not to nuke one in the wrapper.)

    When on ten minute breaks, I'd always have a cheeseburger and orange soda. Free food was a perk, of sorts. To this day, I have a gastrointestinal soft spot for McDonald's cheeseburgers ... micro-thin patty, fake cheese, rehydrated onions, pickle piece, ketchup and mustard. I guess some things never change.


    by barefooted on Wed, 05/06/2015 - 6:08pm

    Wanna know something crazy?  I'm in a McDonald's right now using their free Wi-Fi.  The internet is out where we're staying so here I am.  No burger, though.  Having a root beer.


    by Ramona on Wed, 05/06/2015 - 7:11pm

    HA! That's too perfect. I started to include free Wi-Fi as a positive change in my post, but it fits much better here! You do know, of course, that what you're doing is a corporate pet peeve of theirs, right? Keep an eye our for that line of starving people waiting for a table!


    by barefooted on Wed, 05/06/2015 - 8:16pm

    The place was nearly empty and it was freezing in there!  I ended up sitting in the kiddie play area because it was warmer.


    by Ramona on Thu, 05/07/2015 - 7:20pm

    Nicely written - as my brother says, "everyone has to wear a hat first job".. Even though I shifted my meat-slaven breakfast diner routine for vegetarian food several decades ago and don't do the morning café anymore (kids, work, etc.) - breakfast burritos and late night super hot burritos won out long before health considerations did. But I am impressed that some McDonalds have a decent Starbucks-like coffee corner.


    by PeraclesPlease on Thu, 05/07/2015 - 1:10am

    In the mid 70's, Republicans were right about fast food workers. Most were like me - young folks who spent their part-time minimum wage paychecks on nonessential things. For many of us, paying for our own car insurance was our first grown-up bill. It is not like that now - and hasn't been for too long.


    by barefooted on Thu, 05/07/2015 - 2:08pm

    Great writing, barefooted.


    by Oxy Mora on Thu, 05/07/2015 - 7:44pm

    Thanks, Oxy.


    by barefooted on Thu, 05/07/2015 - 8:07pm

    Ronald and I are sitting out a tornado watch here in N. Texas. We'll see if the burgers are on the grill tomorrow.


    by Oxy Mora on Thu, 05/07/2015 - 9:22pm

    Keep an eye on the sky and all four feet on the ground there, okay? Worst case scenario, hang on to those big red shoes.


    by barefooted on Thu, 05/07/2015 - 9:43pm

    I'll take my tropical storm warning over your tornado threat any day, Oxy. While we both need to be vigilant, you're the one I'm worried about. Stay safe.


    by barefooted on Fri, 05/08/2015 - 5:38pm

    Hey, thanks, barefooted. Last night was a near miss but sitting another one out tonight. On the newscast just now the major storm center north of here in Oklahoma reported they were themselves under a tornado watch.

    Preciate ya!


    by Oxy Mora on Fri, 05/08/2015 - 6:55pm

    Please stay safe.  I have been following all the storms.  


    by trkingmomoe on Fri, 05/08/2015 - 8:09pm

    Thanks, trkingmomoe. This is interesting tonight. One system moving north, one moving west, converging about where I am.

    BTW, my son-in-law was driving one of my trucks from Atlanta to Virginia today and was stopped in traffic about two miles from where the small plane crashed the freeway. Danger lurks.


    by Oxy Mora on Fri, 05/08/2015 - 8:25pm

    "Danger lurks."

    That's a genesis for a haiku if I've ever seen one, and we both know the perfect place for it. It's not like you've got anything else to do while you wait for two storm systems to converge over your head.


    by barefooted on Fri, 05/08/2015 - 8:56pm

    Another daggster and I have been watching for that low to develop off the coast of North Carolina on facebook for the last week.  I didn't expect it to develop and he thought it would. It should give you plenty of rain for the farmers.   


    by trkingmomoe on Fri, 05/08/2015 - 8:16pm

    ... and piss off alot of beachgoers here for a big weekend - not to mention the businesses that need the ones who stay home. Surfers, on the other hand, are thrilled!

    The biggest potential danger is rip currents. They are too easily deadly to idiots who insist on going in the water when the sun shines between bands.


    by barefooted on Fri, 05/08/2015 - 8:35pm

    Excellent blog.

    I was thinking back to when I was we six and seven years old and we would go McDonalds, Burger King, and Taco Bell. It was as you said, it was that special treat we got once in a while, usually when we had spent the day doing things like going to Zoo (I grew up in San Diego, and when it was one of the top notch zoos. giving the animals a notch or two, which meant the people didn't have a really up close experience with most of the animals, and sometimes all of a particular animal would be in their little caves away from the stares of the visitors). What has really changed is back then there no drive-thru windows at those places around me.

    If you wanted your food fast in the late sixities, you had to get out of the car and walk up to the windows or go inside. The Taco Bell near our house didn't even have seating except for a few tables outside. The only places that had one was the Jack-in-the-Box, which had that funny head you spoke into and usually had to repeat your four or five times and you couldn't understand what they saying in response, the Der Wienerschnitzel which specialized hot dogs was the drive-thru and it was tunnel with both sides of A-frame building around you.

    In Seattle you can still have the experience of a place with no drive through and you have to stand out to give your order and I believe they basically sell just a few kinds of burger, fries (hand cut there) and milkshakes with real ice cream.  And that is a couple of places of local chain of Dick's.


    by Elusive Trope on Sat, 05/09/2015 - 8:26pm

    Nice to see you, Trope! I hope you've been well in your absence here.

    "My" McDonald's didn't have a drive-thru window either, that hole-in-the-wall idea came later. (Thankfully for me!) There's a place here called El's - a real live drive-in that dates back to my little kid days. A shack, really, with a big parking lot they repaved after thirty years, an old Oak tree for shade and a huge outdoor menu sign that's always lined with seagulls. Rain or shine, the ladies somehow manage to get all those bags of superburgers and shrimpburgers - with requisite onion rings - to all those cars in minutes. No inside seating ... which no one would consider anyway. It's such a landmark that when locals move away El's is a must-stop on visits home. It's funny - when the last bad hurricane came through and severely damaged the hospital next door, all anybody cared about was that big old tree getting hurt.

    Come to think of it, there's not a single salad on their menu. Seagulls prefer fries.


    by barefooted on Sat, 05/09/2015 - 9:46pm

    Thanks, for the welcome back. I won't go into the boring details, but year now I've finally have a pharmaceutical regime and counseling for the past year that has me in better place than I've been in over over me over thirty years (as well as I don't have a lot of stressors).

    You're comment reminds of the little birds that hung out at Dick's looking for scraps of bugers and fries. Even some nature's creatures like the greasy indulgence.

    Not only that, your comment reminds me of the the days I grew up in Seattle and pretty much everybody went on a trip for more than a week, the first thing they would think of going to get an order of Dick's Deluxe Burger, fries and a shake.
     


    by Elusive Trope on Sat, 05/09/2015 - 11:16pm

    I suspect the days of a single fast food chain appealing to everyone are over. Urban poor that went to fast food because they lived in a food desert are probably going to convenience stores and dollar stores now. The rural poor trek to Walmart once a week or so. Urban folk with income have so many other options. Chipotle's is trying to rebrand as healthy with their no-GMO assertions, but McDs has a much deeper hole to climb. 


    by A-nonny-nonny (not verified) on Thu, 05/14/2015 - 11:52am