I'm addicted.  Fortunately, my other great addiction, my work, resumes next week and that will help me break the hold of this one.  How do I know I'm addicted?  The same way one recognizes other addictions...the diminishing sense of elation...I'm addicted.  Fortunately, my other great addiction, my work, resumes next week and that will help me break the hold of this one.  How do I know I'm addicted?  The same way one recognizes other addictions...the diminishing sense of elation and reward during the experience, the increased craving for the reward and the resulting crabbiness and unease of spirit which comes when that reward is withheld.

I know how to increase the reward-by being less myself-which is also what an addiction does to a person.  I surprised myself by using words like fuckit and shit in posts or comments recently.  I stopped doing that when I was a teenager and the sign in locker room read that vulgar speech was the sign of a weak vocabulary.  

So I learned how to slash and parry with verbal elegance.  I'm reminded of the story of the Samurai warrior who took a swing at his opponent.  "Ha ha, you missed," said the villain of the piece.  "Oh yes?" said the warrior, "Try shaking your head."  I knew how to snark before the term meant anything other than something one hunted with Lewis Carroll.  I knew how to belittle people, how to make them feel insignificant, and to draw other people into heaping contempt on them.  I knew how to do that when I was editor of my college newspaper, and I was expert at it.  

I stopped doing that when I learned about rhetorical crimes like argumentum ad hominem, and my learning was reinforced by acknowledging I was winning verbal arguments and losing the campaigns I was trying to support with them.  Yet I find myself tempted to revert to habits I dumped 46 years ago.  I get a glow of satisfaction when I exercise those old skills, and a reddening of complexion when I realize once again I've betrayed the true self I've been trying to build over my adult life.

So TPM is becoming bad for me.  I started following TPM years ago.  I responded to Josh's first appeal for a cash contribution.  I found congenial company here-names which have disappeared off the blog rolls a long time ago,  and names which are still around. I have deep affection for many of them...if I make a list, I'm afraid I'll leave a name or two off.  My "following list" gives a sampling , though it is incomplete:

# leftyloosey / leftyloosey
# miguelitoh2o / miguelitoh2o
# roo_P / Karl the Marxist
# tpmgary / tpmgary
# Donal Fagan / Donal
# destor23 / destor23
# MaggieM / Maggie
# billyshake / billyshake
# Steve Katz / steve katz
# Professorbalgus / ProfessorB
# Dan Grant / Doomer252
# mabarich / LavenderLightning
# wwstaebler / wwstaebler
# Aunt Sam / Aunt Sam
# Don Key / Don Key
# stratofrog / stratofrog
# rowanwolf / Rowan Wolf
# stillidealistic / stillidealistic
# satyagraha / MBH
# astral66 / astral66
# Ramona / Ramona
# tlees2 / tlees2
# MzTicketyBoo / MzTicketyBoo
# Obey / Obey
# BevD / BevD
# LisB / LisB
# Saladin / Saladin
# intp / intp
# quinn esq / quinn esq
# artappraiser / artappraiser
# TheraP / TheraP
# Thinking / Thinking
# PseudoCyAnts / PseudoCyAnts
# no one really / Bwakfat
# Carol Gee / Carol Gee
There are others...Aunt Sam, for example.

Thank you all for at one time or another giving me something interesting and worthwhile to think about.  Even in disagreement I became wiser for what you said.

Thank you too, the people who paid me the high honor of following me.

I'm going on TPM Sabbatical-which isn't saying I won't post on the odd occasion, or that I won't read or recommend those I value.  But the kind of things which interest me and the way I approach them don't really fit here under the current atmosphere.  I'm not flexible enough to move as quickly as the tide moves.  It's rather like "I wish I had said..." coming into one's mind two or three conversations after the conversation has become old news.  I'm also too proud to send up something half-baked, and taking four hours to write something which disappears in three hours isn't a reasonable use of my time.  

What I would do if I could is put the real skills I have to the use of the topics under discussion (or which I think should be under discussion).  I'm a historian, and a pretty good one.  I know how to research the internet as well as anyone, I think. I think the historical view-the long view-is of value if only for the context it provides, and I believe in providing documentation for what I assert.  Neither of these is in fashion.  I toss a little John Winthrop out, and someone thinks that means I'm advocating burning witches.  I have to thank DickDay for thinking Cicero is still worth reading.  DickDay is Always worth reading.

So I turn my major attention to the kids in my classes-they pay my salary, so they deserve it in any case.  Best to everyone, and look for my comments if you've a mind to.  If you're on my follower list and there's some way I can be of use, ask in the comments, and if you don't get a quick response then e-mail me at [email protected]

And thanks for everything.