The title is not rhetorical.  I have no damn idea, even as I write this, why we constantly focus on race, racism, white black, etc.  We act like we are somehow light years beyond where we once were.  But by our constant focus on it, I don't think most of us have learned a damn thing.  I have three children.  They all have a black family, and a white family.  Does race come up?  Not as much as you think.

So why then do so many people who never step outside of their racial "box" focus on it so much, when it really doesn't have anything to do with their lives?  One might think an interracial couple would be more interested say than a white only couple or a black only couple, due to the circumstances, of topics of race and racism.  Not true, at least in my many, many experiences.  So why then does everyone else seem so drawn to it?

Curiousity?  Maybe.

Fear?  Maybe.

Envy?  Perhaps.

All of these issues have something to do with the unknown.  With things which we do not have access to.  I don't know; maybe many of us are fixated on what we don't have, what we might be missing, or missing out on.  And, quite frankly, most of us are paranoid about just damn everything. 

So perhaps the reason we talk endlessly, year after year, on skin color, racism, cultural difference, etc...  is simply because we all are dealing with something we can't have, whether we fear it, or whether we wish we could understand it.

I wrote a poem in college, back in the mid 1990s, when race was an issue for me, from which I'll cite a portion:

If every snake

that I had seen

had tried to bite me 

I would most likely

wear boots

and walk home another way

Perhaps I would hate the snakes

before they came

Most of the time probably it is that a guy is black, or white--and that is why we never talk to him, or only talk about limited things, or don't ask more, or aren't as honest and open with them.  Because of our expectations.  Because of anxiety.  Because of what we were once told.  How we were raised.  Or, maybe we just feel funny.  Uncomfortable. 

People are afraid of being racist.  I think they are afraid that being themself won't be enough.  That they won't have anything to talk about.  That something bad will somehow come from more direct interaction with someone of another race.  Any of these things often makes simple conversation uncomfortable.  So it doesn't happen.

Race is not important; so important, that we all argue over nothing, year after year, life after life.  Why spend time dissecting, arguing, provoking, and debating when you could skip it, and just get to know everyone, and broaden your worldview without making a total ass out of yourself? 

Maybe there are many of you out there like myself that have already worked through alot of these issues, and had to overcome alot of racism, false teaching and stereotypes to get at the point where things get moving along.  But if we keep talking about race as such a divisive issue, and hype it up as though we are on the verge of a racial war somehow--playing politics with race--that is just wasting your lives worrying about nothing important to anyone who has "a life."

Just because people bring it up, does not mean we have to be drawn in.  Choose your battlefield.  Control the ring.  Make a person argue with themselves.

I'm not saying you have to run out and try interracial dating.  I am just saying that race is not as important in life as you make it.  So stop.

People complain that things have not changed.  That there still is racism.  Fine then.  Confront it.  You want to know how?  1-Don't be racist.  2-Know that you probably are anyway.  3-Be an open person.  I admit I have had to work through many difficult feelings, situations, and reactions over the years.  It's a scary issue!  But I try to step outside of myself, and give others a chance to show me something.  You can have absolutely nothing in common with another person, and have a great conversation, a great friendship, and learn alot about things you'd never know about otherwise.  Or you may be surprised to find you have everything in common.  This is usually the case, I might add.

Step out of your comfort zone.  Be willing to look foolish.  You'll find your not, and that it's a freeing thing to stop keeping half of your world from getting to know you.

Race is not important unless you make it.  And even then, it is you carrying that weight around.  I don't make enemies just because someone says something wrong to me, makes a racist joke, or is rude.  I let them know who I am, and where I stand.  After that, they can either respect you, be sorry, or stay an asshole.  It's their problem.  I don't make it mine.

The world is full of racists.  It is, however, also full of kind, understanding people I have found, who are willing to learn from others, including people they don't look like.  So maybe let's try to stop focusing on this issue of race so much.  It only has as much power as we give it.  And for good or ill.  We could spend that energy and devotion on each other, our common problems, and on making new friends, and possibly--yes--dates.  Well, maybe. 

Stop talking about race as though it were a disease, a war, a flag, a baseball team, or a lost city of gold.  Race is unimportant next to life.  Race is useless.  Celebrating heritage is one thing.  But race does not a person make.

Race is important, only because man made it so. 

Therefore, it can be made not so.