So Abram, Sarai, and Lot, enriched by the prostitution business, headed back north to Canaan. They were so rich that the land couldn’t support all their flocks, and their herdsman started to squabble, so Abram told Lot to go one way, and he would go the other. Lot went east to the wicked city of Sodom, and Abram went west.

Commentary: Lot did not have a good head for real estate.

When Lot was gone, God promised Abram that all the land as far as he could see would soon be his and that his offspring would be as numerous as the dust of the earth.

Commentary: If the land was too crowded for Lot and Abram, imagine what it will be like when Abram's offspring are numerous as the dust of the earth. I predict plenty more squabbling.

Abram thought that was nice of God, so he settled in Hebron and built God another altar.

Commentary: As the Great Rabbi Ezekiel Bezekiel has written, "When it comes to God, you can never have too many altars."

The Heretic's Bible is a translation of a recently discovered commentary by a notorious first century heretic, Joseph the Latriner. The commentary is presented in italics with footnotes by the translator.

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