William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Breaking: Fecal Matter rapidly nearing Fan, no one noticing

    WORLD - Fecal matter is within 13 centimeters of the fan, say noted Swedish researchers in a study to be published in the journal "Hey, We Might Just Be Boned Here Annual." Leading Researcher Tim Jöhnson said the proximity of the fecal matter to the fan should be cause for alarm, but apparently isn't.

    "Let's see, we have possible war between the Koreas, the whole of the Middle East in turmoil, an ongoing economic meltdown, political unrest, Haiti, British Petroleum destroying the Gulf of Mexico, and on and on," said Jöhnson. "All these factors are pushing the fecal matter ever closer to the fan. But no one seems to care."

    For its part, the American people see the world's problems as "Anything Palin related," "Junk touching" and "Anything Lohan related, even now." A new poll shows "Shit-Fan Slamming" of no interest to any Americans.

    "I'm no doomsayer," said Jöhnson, from Tupelo, Sweden. "But I will say doom is on it's way. maybe someone should look into that."


    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles


    You forgot about us Americans who are concerned about the improper use of "it's" as a possessive. Tongue out

    Perhaps it's because everyone's in the trenches which doesn't give them a vantage point to see very far in front of them. You just know if you move forward all hell breaks loose and you could lose everything so you just huddle in your corner and hope they call out someone else to advance instead. You may get lucky and sit out the entire war effort and suffer only a scratch or two for all your efforts waiting for the armistice and things to get back to normal. Besides, if the $hit does hit the fan, the more people in the trenches means there's more people to cover so the chances are you could end up with a lite coating.

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