As speculation grows about a potential 2012 Presidential run, ex-Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich has teamed up with Nike to produce an advertisement meant to both soften the controversial Republican’s image, as well as sell his new line of products, available at Nike.

The advertisement – which mimic the recent Tiger Woods Nike advertisement – consists of Gingrich staring uncomfortably at the camera, while his two ex-wives – Jackie Battley and Marianne Ginther – speak:

“Newt, we are prone to be inquisitive, to promote discussion. We want to find out what your thinking was. We want to find out what your feelings are. Did you learn anything?”

Gingrich – a noted Catholic – cheated on both Battley and Ginther. He is currently married to his third wife, Callista, with whom he had previously enjoyed an extra-marital affair while working to impeach President Bill Clinton for having an extra-marital affair.

A Nike spokesperson said they were excited to have Gingrich join their team of superstar adulterers, including Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant.

“We at Nike have had a long and successful track record of promoting adulterers,” said spokesman Scott Reams. “We believe Newt Gingrich is a true hero to Americans that believe marriage is a great way to meet the ladies.”

Nike’s new “Err Newt” line of products – consisting of dazzling neck chains, lotions and disco balls – will appeal to the heretofore untapped adulterer market which they have first discovered with Woods.

“Whether it’s golf or politics, boys will be boys,” said Reams. “And like Tiger, Newt is one of the boys. They just do it.”

Gingrich announced that he will be donating his payment from Nike to Nike Chairman Phil Knight.

“In our current secular-socialist regime, top executives like Mr. Knight need all Americans to come forward and offer them assistance,” said Gingrich, the first Speaker of the House in 208 years to be disciplined for ethical wrongdoing. “It’s time for us all to dig a little deeper for these captains of industry.”

Gingrich will receive at least one perk for his work with Nike, as the company stated that they will donate $2.5 billion to Gingrich’s PAC.

“This has nothing to do with politics,” said Knight. “We just believe in supporting our own. It has little to do with our interest in eliminating the minimum wage and creating new American sweat shops.”

–WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles