The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
Michael Wolraich's picture

The Republican Party of Extraordinary Gentlemen

The Puppet Master

Primary power:
Bending lesser minds to his will

Secondary power:
Manipulating intelligence data

The Fulminator

Primary power:
Controls zombie army

Secondary power:
Feeds on hate

The Brain

Primary power:
Devious brilliance

Secondary power:
Unhindered by conscience

The Human Newt

Primary power:
Unpredictability

Secondary power:
Cannot be killed

The Black Sidekick

Primary power:
Buffoonery

Secondary power:
Familiar with hip-hop terminology

Captain War Hero

Primary power:
Righteous irritation

Secondary power:
Earmark disintegration ray

Ice Girl

Primary power:
Emits patriotic-sounding nonsense

Secondary power:
Sentences of unusual structure

Up-and-Coming Boy

Primary power:
Not an old white guy

Secondary power:
Dull speech of death

Dr. No

Primary power:
Legislative sabotage

Secondary power:
No secondary power

?

Primary power:
Unknown

Secondary power:
Unknown

Junior

Primary power:
Wreaks global destruction

Secondary power:
Blessed cloak of invisibility

Topics: 
Politics
Humor & Satire

Comments

Surely Mitch deserves better than "?", doesn't he? I mean, he's a Senator for the great state that brought us the Creationist Museum, after al.


How about

Pat(?)


Who's Mitch?


One thing has stuck with me from playing the Marvel Superheroes RPG.  I feel like I can quote the guide almost perfectly here:  "let's face it, water-breathing is a wuss superpower."  Years later, it still holds true.  Okay, months later. Okay, weeks.  Okay, put down the d20 guys, I'm trying to concentrate.  Okay, so there are no guys, it's just me and the d20, but he can be loud.  Okay, it's a d6, from my Yahtzee box.  Okay, my mom's Yahtzee.  My point is, could Captain ? be a kind of zombie Aquaman?


He can be anything you want him to be. Tabula rasa. If you see a zombie Aquaman, well that's what he is to you.


Table-top RGPs are an economical and earth-friendly alternative to video games.  Listen up, youngsters!


As are table-top RPGs!


Was this post in any way inspired by recent news stories about masked vigilantes, a la Watchmen?  Because it bears an uncanny resemblance to the World Super Hero Registry.


What about the Ghost of Reagan? Primary Power: To make Republicans' chest puff up with patriotic pride Secondary Power: To make Republicans' forget what Reagan actually did in office and the fact that the much maligned Junior used Reagan's political playbook and much of his cabinet during his presidency.

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